why is it you always get to sit in the shade

[blackstarred]

Comments

[kapiushon]

Long years end. Eventually.

( Even when it feels like they have. He pours them each a generous helping of very old scotch and hands one glass to Michael. )

Do you want to talk about it?

[sullivansr]

Oh, well.

[He's not the best at talking, honestly, but he feels like the conversation at dinner at least deserves some kind of explanation.]

I made a bad call and got my son killed. Cooper had an older brother, Lucas. And, I'm not sure my wife will ever forgive me for it.

[kapiushon]

( Oliver has lost friends. He's lost family. For a long time he held that guilt. A part of him will always mourn Tommy and his mother. He has since escaped that darkness. )

Have you forgiven yourself?

[sullivansr]

[He snorts before taking a long sip of his drink.]

I don't think that's possible.

[At least not where he's currently at. Not less than a year out from his son's death. But he knows guilt, and he can live with it without making himself reckless.]

[kapiushon]

( Oliver takes another thoughtful sip, trying not to overstep further. One thing he can make clear without knowing everything, one thing he'd like to open Michael up to, is: )

She blames herself as much as she blames you. Maybe more than you blame yourself. How is Cooper?

[sullivansr]

Cooper has always been ... resilient. If there's cracks, he won't let me or his mother see it.

[But he knows that his son has been through quite a crucible of his own, and it's only a matter of time before those cracks start to show.]

After what went down in New Orleans, I don't blame him for wanting to take some time away. But Evelyn doesn't know the full story of what happened there, and I don't think he wants her to.

[kapiushon]

What happened?

( Would it change things? )

[sullivansr]

It's a long story, but the short version is that he got in over his head and had to go to some extremes as a result.

[He's not going to spill all of his son's trauma out for his boyfriend's father to see.]

The play paid off, but it leaves me wondering the cost.

[kapiushon]

He'll work through it in time. He may come to you. He may not. You being here with him is what's important.

( Oliver has learned a lot in his years as a father. )

[sullivansr]

I hope so.

[He finishes his drink before lifting his glass.]

Thank you, for the drink.

[But he's going to need his own time to process, and he won't subject Oliver to his brooding time.]

And for putting us up.

[kapiushon]

You're both welcome here for as long as you like.

( Hopefully as long as their son is there, but he knows when healing needs to be done. Even if it takes years for some. )