everyonelives | the ground could open, he could still say please

[He nods. Outfit sounds ominous, but he's not generally on the radar of hunters as much. Benefit of people thinking your parents are fictional and generally not taking their presence seriously.]

What about you? Planning to stick around with him?

Don't know. I'm from Texas but I like mileage between me and my family.

( Maybe Christmas. )

This is going to sound really weird, but I'm in a place in my life where I can really do anything. Go anywhere. I finally have all this freedom and I don't know what I want to do with it. You ever felt like that?

Oh yeah.

[Immortality is a head trip that way. You become a vampire and suddenly there's no door that won't open to you if you know how to persuade it properly. It's a heady feeling and it took him a while to get used to it.]

In my experience, this is the time to do something you've always wanted to try, just because you can.

[Like skydiving. Scarlett loved that one. She had the full-on vapors.]

I didn't really have a lot of open doors. I joined up straight out of the army. That was supposed to be my ticket. GI bill, not that I know what I'd use it for. ( Not that he needs it. ) It's not pathetic if I stick around here because my buddy's here, just until I figure out my next move? Keep in mind I recently realized I was in love with the guy way too late. Also I don't think I'm his type. But, we were in pretty dire straights and I just came out with it. Like I didn't even know I was going to say it.

( Klaus' compulsion did a number on him. It feels like he had six months of tunnel vision with no end in sight. Now he's out the other end and - what. What now? )

[... Oh, buddy.]

I think if your friend hasn't told you to fuck off, then you're fine. But you might not want to be stuck under the same roof with the boyfriend. Just because your friend is understanding doesn't mean he'll be.

[No offense, William, he just knows that he wouldn't necessarily be okay with it.]

But are you sure you want to stay here?

I don't know what I want. I know I don't want Cooper. I'm - good with him. Love the guy, but he's in the middle of his happy - well, middle, I'm not fucking that up. Beyond that --

( He gestures with his hands. He doesn't know. )

I recently... transitioned into a new phase of my life and I'm still getting used to it. All this time.

[There's something about that "transitioned" that entices Wes to look down at the man's hands (13). The daylight ring stands out against the rest of his look and this conversation just got much more interesting.]

How's that working out for you?

Sometimes I think I only have the illusion of control. I learned I was being used, but only after my mind was changed for me. I feel like for the first time in a long time I have my own thoughts and needs and wants. And past Cooper I don't know what it means.

( Or what he should do about it. )

And I'm pissed. If I really think about it, it wasn't my choice. Life comes at you fast but -- ( Fuck the Salvatores. ) I should be talking to a therapist not bothering the jacked bartender.

First of all, thanks for that.

[He does like it when his physique is appreciated, he puts a lot of work into it.]

Second of all, it sounds like you've been through some fucked up shit.

[He's not quite able to translate all of this into vampire talk, but it's become obvious that he's been compelled at some point, which sucks. Compulsion is not one of the vampire tricks that Wes likes to use, and tends to only do it when he absolutely has to. Just because he's not on hunters' radar doesn't mean he wants to get there.]

But, the bright side about the world is that there's a lot of people around who have also been through fucked up shit. All you have to do is find your people who get that.

( The fucked up mundane shit and the fucked up supernatural shit. He's had a car ride, a surreal parental explosion they sidestepped and this time to think about it. It's early days when it comes to what would work for him next, he's just not used to what any freedom entails. He escaped Texas. He thought he escaped the army. He was captured all over again against his will and made in Klaus Mikaelson's image. He revealed something incredibly personal, something he didn't even know he was carrying with him. )

And if you thought you found your people, but it turned out the only thing you had in common was one big fat lie?

( This is far too complicated to go into right now. He downs that second shot and takes another sip of the beer he ordered. )

You know what, don't answer that. Just tell me about you. It sounds like you've been through some fucked up shit. I'd love to hear about it.

[The question about thinking you've found your people, and the thing in common being a lie resonates, even if his experiences don't explicitly reflect it. But when he asks about Wes's fucked up shit, well ... there's more than enough of that. He lets out a laugh before leaning back and trying to figure out where to start.]

Let's see. Disowned at sixteen, ran away, struggled for a while to find my place. Found a group of people that I thought could be a family, but they got me into something that ... definitely messed me up, more than I'd care to admit.

[But that's a conversation for when they're not dancing around the V-word.]

But eventually I did find my people. Better ones who actually gave a shit about me. Sometimes a little too much, but I'll take too much over not at all.

( It's striking how similar their beginnings are. He felt worlds away from everyone but in this moment in this night club, he feels closer to Wes. )

Yeah, I found people. ( Cooper. ) Coop's had my back from the jump. His father too to an extent.

( Maybe he found it. )

Maybe I'm not as lost as I think.

( It's not weak to embrace those who embrace you. )

I don't think we ever really are.

[It just feels like the world is crashing in on you sometimes, and that's a very valid feeling to feel. Or so his would tell him, if he managed to go to one for longer than a session.]

I think the world just feels far away sometimes. But it always comes back around, sooner or later. Live long enough, you figure that out.

Funny.

( Not that Wes knows why it's funny. )

Guess I don't know what I'm coming back around to. I didn't leave behind much. I'm from Texas.

Texas isn't bad.

[A beat.]

Well, some parts of Texas aren't bad. But I can't really talk. I'm from New Jersey.

Never been, what's it like.

( He's been sipping at his beer here and there, but sticking around for the conversation. Mia's somewhere with her friend and Cooper's with William. He can be with Wes. Better than being with his own thoughts. )

The part where I grew up? Not much going on. There will be pockets of civilization and then nothing but trees and sand for miles. You could escape to Philly or Atlantic City on the weekends, but not much.

[He shrugs.]

There's a reason why when I got kicked out I ran to the city, first Philly, then New York.

( Mickey's gaydar comes to a tepid (2), as he just feels for the other man, but can't see why anyone would kick Wes out ~~of bed for eating crackers~~. )

Who would kick you out?

[He laughs.]

My very religious parents who didn't like the idea of their son-in-law being married to their son rather than their daughter.

[It was a different time then. Sure it still happens, but much less than it used to, and that is a comfort in itself.]

Yeah, that would do it.

( Well hey. )

I didn't come out to mine. Just... enlisted.

I didn't technically either. I got caught.

[His old man did not enjoy that scene, not one bit. Honestly, he's surprised he made it out of town alive, if he's honest.]

But it was for the best. That family wasn't the right one for me, though I still talk to my sister sometimes.

I have two sisters and a brother. I send birthday cards.

( To his brother's nieces, too. )

It's good to keep in touch.

[His sister in her late seventies at this point, with grandkids and even a few great ones. He probably won't see her again until her funeral, but sometimes he gets a Christmas card.]

But it gets harder the older you get.

Yeah, I don't think that counts as keeping in touch.

( But he tries. He was a big coward, but he didn't want to put his life on his family. His siblings call. He tries. It's hard. His parents don't reach out. He thinks they know. )

And that's what I'm going to do. Get older and older.

It's a lot at first. But you get used to it after a while.

[Is that tipping his hand? Maybe. But he's never really been good at dancing around the idea in the first place.]

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