coming at you fast, midnight

[cosmiccon]

Comments

[blackstarred]

[Being the Slayer isn't really a problem, but being a Slayer also caused the problem, so it's hard to say they're not separate.]

Kind of. All the Slayers get these dreams. Memories, sometimes, of the Slayers who came before them. It's ... disorienting, sometimes. You forget what's you and what's someone else.

[kapiushon]

That's a lot to live with.

( He tries to tread carefully, to listen closely, and to be there. )

Is it hard some days to distinguish between you and these past slayers?

[blackstarred]

Sometimes.

[She wakes up in her cushy room at the Queen Manor and forgets, briefly, that she's not supposed to be waking up in a bunker in the wrong Star City. She sees her father's face and feels the ache of a girl who grew up without him.]

After a minute or so, I remember, but it's like I've got two different people warring for control.

[kapiushon]

Who wins?

( He wants her to, hopes she'll say Mia Queen. But a father worries, and tries to sense motive (4) but if anyone is his blindspot, it's Mia Queen, daughter of Felicity, so he takes her story of historical dreams at face value. )

[blackstarred]

Usually Mia Queen.

[Usually.]

And Buffy helped a lot, when I was back in Scotland. She's been doing this a long time. But now I'm trying to figure it out on my own.

[kapiushon]

Is there anything I can help with?

( Is it his place? Is he capable? )

[blackstarred]

[She doesn't know if she can do that without breaking her promise.

But then again, Barry isn't always right. But she can't say for sure, and she doesn't want to hurt her father.]

Just ... if I look at you like I've never seen you before, don't take it personally? And remind me?

[kapiushon]

I'll do anything.

( It's a promise. He doesn't want to overstep, again, but she has approached him so the door is open. He can't help but ask. )

Mia, should I be worried?

[blackstarred]

[She shakes her head.]

No, I'm okay. Buffy says it evens out, and I'm still really new to this.

[At least, she hopes she'll be able to figure it out.]

[kapiushon]

You're adaptive. And strong. You won't let this sideline you. Is that what you're worried about? Losing yourself?

( This would explain her tonal shift, a loss of innocence Edith Wharton could write sequels about. )

[blackstarred]

A little bit.

[Her hands clench into fists for a moment before she shakes her head.]

Just ... more and more of a different me who didn't get to have this life. Who didn't get to have you.

[Which she shouldn't have said. She knows it as soon as she says it, but that's the person she's scared of losing to the most.]

[kapiushon]

A different you?

( If he was listening right, she was experiencing the past, not the parallel. )

Do you mean you're dreaming about a different you from a different Earth?

( And could that means something more? Should he call Laurel? )

[blackstarred]

Kind of.

[ ... She opened the door. Now she has to do this.]

More like a fragment of a timeline that no longer exists.

[kapiushon]

What are you talking about?

( Dreaming this other life would take its' toll. But, he wonders what details those dreams would reveal. If they'd go so far as to reveal that timeline is gone. )

[blackstarred]

Uncle Barry is going to kill me.

[But too late, this is happening. She sucks at keeping secrets from her dad anyway.]

When my Slayer abilities activated, I remembered Crisis. And more to the point, I remembered the person I was before Crisis.

[kapiushon]

Not if I kill him first.

( If we're following the killing logic. )

Mia, what's Crisis? Is that... another universe?

[blackstarred]

[She shakes her head.]

It was an event. Some eldritch being was trying to destroy the multiverse, and they almost succeeded. But there was a me there from a timeline where you died and I grew up alone.

[She can't even really count Felicity, given how much she was keeping from her.]

I didn't even really get to know William. Everything was different.

[kapiushon]

And you... remember this timeline. You have ever since you became a slayer.

( He takes that in, waiting for the answer. )

Is that why you stayed away for so long?

[blackstarred]

[She takes a deep breath, then nods slowly.]

I was having a hard time keeping track of what was real and what wasn't. Throw vampires and demons into the mix and things only became a lot worse.

[kapiushon]

It sounds like it was just as real as you or me, as your brother. It doesn't make things less real. It doesn't make me or Laurel or you or any of this less real. But, it makes it harder, doesn't it? Living with both.

( The survivor's guilt she must be carrying. )

And why will your uncle Barry be killing you?

[blackstarred]

[She takes a deep breath.]

Because you were there too, in Crisis. But there are reasons that he doesn't want you to remember.

[kapiushon]

( Barry, there will be words. )

It involves you, he didn't think I'd be concerned?

[blackstarred]

It involved all of us, and he knew you would be, which is why he didn't want me to tell you.

[She reaches over and takes his hand.]

Don't be too mad at him, okay? He's just trying to protect you. He couldn't have predicted that I would remember out of nowhere.

[kapiushon]

He also shouldn't have asked you to keep it from me. It should have been your decision. Not his. No matter what this Crisis entails.

( His fingers curl around hers as he pulls her in for a hug. )

Nothing, not even my death would ever change what you mean to me. And I'm sorry you had to live through that.

( And he's sorry the memory lives in conjunction with her other memories. He pulls back. )

It was bad, the other universe?

[blackstarred]

[She nods a bit into his shoulder as she sighs.]

Star City fell apart. Gangs took over. It was worse than it was before you started being the Arrow.