[There’s a kind of satisfaction that comes with killing something when you’ve spent a long time imagining their death. He’s killed Kirsanov hundreds of different ways in his mind, over and over again, some similar to the way he’s been killed in the past. So many deaths over so many lifetimes and he’s finally taken a definitive step forward to ending this curse.
Maybe he’ll still die and have to start all over again, but it’s one less target on his list. That’s progress, no matter what way you slice it.
He’s likely the most at ease on the train—seat reclined back, eyes closed—but he can sense Max’s eyes in the seats facing him.]
( for the record, it's not about 'wanting to say' or 'having to say.' but, that Rusty is a far cry from the Rusty he met in Hershey, Pennsylvania. he knew his backstory, can understand a vengeance coming from it, though he can't understand it personally. seeing it in person was something else. he has been at the negotiation table. he has done corporate espionage. he has done intimidation. seduction.
but, unlike his sister, he's never outright pulled together a sting that ended in straight up murder.
a lot of questions linger. but he asks just one. )
[Even when Rusty was a member of the Inner Circle, he never shied away from getting his hands dirty. In his mind, a man's conviction is in what he's willing to do himself, and Rusty never hesitated. Killing Kirsanov is a job long that he's long been wanting to get done.
He blinks open his eyes, turning his attention to Max before shrugging.]
I'm fine. Are you?
[He does mean that question earnestly. He'd understand if Max wasn't. That's a lot to see - especially if you've never had to handle it before.]
[Because they're not. They've killed one member of ten. The progress is good, but it's not farther than Rusty has gotten before. He did manage to stab a Gainor in the neck once. But that doesn't mean he won.]
Kirsanov is the first step in a long road. We've got a ways to go.
So, you're with us. We survived your trial period.
( Does his heart skip a beat at the thought? He has a heart? Maybe it's just the intrigue. It's the attraction he's allowing himself to feel. Because outside of their parents wanting their bodies, the guy he tracked down in Hershey, PN is a DILF.
Letting himself see that is... something else. He also OWNS everything he is. Max has owned himself and his actions, but under his parents' eye. )
[.... In a lot of ways, he's a lot like the matriarch of his line, and in some ways it gets under his skin. They even edge their way into things in a similar manner, and it brings up that edge of mistrust he can't quite let go of.]
You did. Still have nine more to go, though.
[So they're not out of the woods yet. But he's trying to see what Max is after - he has an idea, but he's not sure if he wants to give it, as intrigued and drawn in as he may be.]
We're all well aware. Body one is dust in a crumbling castle. Literally. Onto the next.
( but, he's not there, yet. they're still on this train. )
Unless you mean our trial period is in parts. I understand not trusting us. I barely trust us. But, we don't want to become our parents. Literally in this case. We're not - I'm not giving you up. We're getting us out of this but we're getting you out of this, too. You deserve it, Rusty. What they did to you is fucked up in the way you only hear about in Greek mythology. I'm not okay with it. I don't know how I was ever okay with any of it. But. Maybe I wasn't.
[He will give Max at least that. But trust is hard to come by, and Rusty has hard time with believing that Malreauxes are being sincere (2). At least not unless they've thought they've won.
Four hundred years of conditioning doesn't go away overnight. So he keeps watching Max like a hawk, trying to figure out what he wants out of this conversation. What's the end game?
Rusty isn't sure where things stand yet.]
You've earned enough trust to get to the next body. But until they're all dead, I'm not going to be trusting you completely.
( his mouth drops open, taking in a breath, he nods at that. he gets it. they're heirs. but, when has he ever not said what he wanted. not to his parents. his licks his lips and pushes himself to sit up straighter, shooting an arm around the back of the train seat. )
You're right. I want you. Not your trust. I know I can't have that, not one body in. But, I've expended energy for less. I don't know about you, but I need to get something out of my system, and you're here, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since we got on this train. There. That's the full truth.
There's something almost bitter to the smile that comes after, because of course he does. He also sees the move potential in it. Let him believe that he's getting what he wants and use the hooks to keep some kind of control. It would be easy. Seduction is a tactic he's used before in other instances.
Doing it to the descendent of the woman who did it to him in the first place would be simply the cherry on top of the sundae, and maybe two hundred years and several lifetimes earlier he might have, but in this instance, the prospect almost makes him feel tired.]
[Is it that he's not into it? Max is certainly a good looking man. But there's a vulnerability to sex that he's not quite sure he wants to put himself in with him just yet.]
I'm not.
[But then, in the effort of being honest - or maybe not burning all his bridges - he hedges:]
At least not right now. Nothing personal.
[Lie. But unfortunately one he may not be covering that well (7).]
( he may not know Rusty well enough, but he's been fixated enough on him for the last few days. his (12) surmounts the personalisation behind it. but he doesn't have to tell him. his life, his rules. he has a lot to cover up. obviously.
that it being person or the not right now, he doubts both, but he doesn't know why. )
[Unfortunately for that sense motive he gets a mask (19). Almost as though Rusty's picked up on the fact that it wasn't his best lie, and he's trying to shut things down.
Centuries worth of complications and old wounds that Rusty isn't ready to reveal, isn't ready to talk about, isn't ready to give Max a bar to rise above just to be accused of moving the goal posts if Rusty's feelings don't change.]
I'm sure there'll be someone willing back in Moscow, if you're willing to put the effort in.
( yeah, well, he doesn't usually try twice. so we'll see what happens. )
I don't know what that means.
( but, sure, if he wants to find someone, he probably will. rusty won't be surprised when he finds someone leaving max's hotel room the next day, when it's time to get out of moscow.
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no subject
Maybe he’ll still die and have to start all over again, but it’s one less target on his list. That’s progress, no matter what way you slice it.
He’s likely the most at ease on the train—seat reclined back, eyes closed—but he can sense Max’s eyes in the seats facing him.]
There something you want to say?
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but, unlike his sister, he's never outright pulled together a sting that ended in straight up murder.
a lot of questions linger. but he asks just one. )
Are you okay?
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He blinks open his eyes, turning his attention to Max before shrugging.]
I'm fine. Are you?
[He does mean that question earnestly. He'd understand if Max wasn't. That's a lot to see - especially if you've never had to handle it before.]
no subject
( that, he can answer! but, it's not the answer he's looking for, is he.
his tongue whets his body lip as he considers what he's going to say. )
I guess I'm thinking about what now. For you. You've waited all your lives plural for this. And that day came. So. Checking in.
no subject
[Because they're not. They've killed one member of ten. The progress is good, but it's not farther than Rusty has gotten before. He did manage to stab a Gainor in the neck once. But that doesn't mean he won.]
Kirsanov is the first step in a long road. We've got a ways to go.
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( Does his heart skip a beat at the thought? He has a heart? Maybe it's just the intrigue. It's the attraction he's allowing himself to feel. Because outside of their parents wanting their bodies, the guy he tracked down in Hershey, PN is a DILF.
Letting himself see that is... something else. He also OWNS everything he is. Max has owned himself and his actions, but under his parents' eye. )
no subject
You did. Still have nine more to go, though.
[So they're not out of the woods yet. But he's trying to see what Max is after - he has an idea, but he's not sure if he wants to give it, as intrigued and drawn in as he may be.]
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( but, he's not there, yet. they're still on this train. )
Unless you mean our trial period is in parts. I understand not trusting us. I barely trust us. But, we don't want to become our parents. Literally in this case. We're not - I'm not giving you up. We're getting us out of this but we're getting you out of this, too. You deserve it, Rusty. What they did to you is fucked up in the way you only hear about in Greek mythology. I'm not okay with it. I don't know how I was ever okay with any of it. But. Maybe I wasn't.
no subject
[He will give Max at least that. But trust is hard to come by, and Rusty has hard time with believing that Malreauxes are being sincere (2). At least not unless they've thought they've won.
Four hundred years of conditioning doesn't go away overnight. So he keeps watching Max like a hawk, trying to figure out what he wants out of this conversation. What's the end game?
Rusty isn't sure where things stand yet.]
You've earned enough trust to get to the next body. But until they're all dead, I'm not going to be trusting you completely.
no subject
You're right. I want you. Not your trust. I know I can't have that, not one body in. But, I've expended energy for less. I don't know about you, but I need to get something out of my system, and you're here, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since we got on this train. There. That's the full truth.
no subject
There's something almost bitter to the smile that comes after, because of course he does. He also sees the move potential in it. Let him believe that he's getting what he wants and use the hooks to keep some kind of control. It would be easy. Seduction is a tactic he's used before in other instances.
Doing it to the descendent of the woman who did it to him in the first place would be simply the cherry on top of the sundae, and maybe two hundred years and several lifetimes earlier he might have, but in this instance, the prospect almost makes him feel tired.]
I'm not sure that's a good idea.
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( he brings his arms up, no harm, right? )
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I'm not.
[But then, in the effort of being honest - or maybe not burning all his bridges - he hedges:]
At least not right now. Nothing personal.
[Lie. But unfortunately one he may not be covering that well (7).]
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that it being person or the not right now, he doubts both, but he doesn't know why. )
Yeah. Fair play.
( and (18) for sense motive check though )
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Centuries worth of complications and old wounds that Rusty isn't ready to reveal, isn't ready to talk about, isn't ready to give Max a bar to rise above just to be accused of moving the goal posts if Rusty's feelings don't change.]
I'm sure there'll be someone willing back in Moscow, if you're willing to put the effort in.
no subject
I don't know what that means.
( but, sure, if he wants to find someone, he probably will. rusty won't be surprised when he finds someone leaving max's hotel room the next day, when it's time to get out of moscow.
but sure, max. he can put in effort. )