for the rest of us death will be a relief

[praevaricatio]

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buffy & stefan | baltimore

[attainathons]

( david lets them go upstairs to wash up and change. buffy thought they'd need a change of clothes and knew they were traveling faster, but that the trip back probably wouldn't be the same.

while he showers first, she finds herself undressing behind him and without asking, stepping in with him. this isn't erotic or sexy, but cleansing. she sees him. she's always seen him and she hopes that he sees in her the same thing. she and him haven't been as brutal and violent together as they were on the riverboat and in this house. she's used to it, being the hammer when she needs to be. but stefan has always been backup. italian and charming and warm and funny. not...

she doesn't say it out loud, what she read about. and he isn't. not him. not that.

everyone has their heads.

but she would be foolish to think it didn't affect her, seeing him like that and then being involved. and, if she's honest with herself, not very effective. she tripped up quite a few times. they were witches, fine, but she's a slayer. and they took down stefan with the snap of their fingers.

she lets the water cascade over the both of them as she finally lets herself breathe. in many ways, this is her revenge too. they did this to her girls. innocents. )

[somanyadjectives]

[Stefan doesn't particularly enjoy these kinds of jobs, but sometimes they're necessary. And after ensuring that Elena is okay, and the wild reappearance of Matt Donovan (doesn't know how he's going to tell his brother about that one), he is ready to wash off this day.

He knows Buffy is concerned though. That things got complicated and messy, and they're going to have to talk about it. When he feels her slip into the shower behind him, he continues to go through the motions of cleaning up, helping her scrub her back, and waited until they've both washed off the day and are bundled up in clean clothes on the hotel room bed.

He then reaches over to pull her closer.]

You okay?

[He knows she's not, but someone has to open the door to the conversation.]

[attainathons]

( The clean clothes are the best part. Yes, her boyfriend-soon-to-be-fiancee is a comfort, and washing off the day's crazy, also a good, but, when it comes down to it, Buffy just wanted to be clean. Stefan is safe and not dead. Elena is safe and not dead. There's a whole lotta witchy politics she doesn't need to be involved in, but it feels good that maybe they might have her back someday. She's never against making more allies.

The violence and brutality comes with the slayer gig. But not usually like this. )

Me? Are my inner thoughts coming out loud and in stereo?

[somanyadjectives]

[His fingers brush over the top of her head as he looks down at her, trying to figure out where his thoughts are landing.]

Tonight was a lot.

[He pauses to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and sighs.]

I don't really think any of us are okay.

[attainathons]

I'm not. Not really. But, neither are they. Say what you want about their evil parents, they were their parents at one time. I can't imagine doing that to - ( She stares off into space, remember discovering her mother at tone time, dead on the couch. She blinks the memory away. ) I killed Angel, saw in his eyes when he came back to me, already too late. And they didn't even... have that.

[somanyadjectives]

[Stefan pauses, trying to figure out how to phrase this. He's someone who has killed his parent, and his parent wasn't particularly great either. But this seems to be on a while different level.]

I don't think that would have made things easier. I think for them, it may be better to just know that there was nothing left to recover. Not easy, but ... closure, I guess.

[He pauses.]

It's still never easy to kill someone so close to you, though, necessary or not.

[attainathons]

Sometimes, I wake up and it's like it happened yesterday. Like my mother is downstairs on the sofa or at the hospital in town. Or the morgue. I remember every second of that day.

( She remembers every second of the day she killed Angel, too. It's a slayer's burden. )

And, killing Angel... I remember knowing what I had to do. I remember the long walk to the mansion he'd been living in. Willow's sentiments she sent through Xander. ( She looks up at Stefan, turning cold. ) "Kick his ass."

[somanyadjectives]

[Stefan sets his jaw because he can only imagine how many people said that about him once upon a time. That Stefan or another member of their group would have to be sacrificed for the greater good.]

That's not on you. His lying to you is not your fault. You did what you had to do to do your job.

[And honestly, he finds it reassuring. That she can look past the person involved and look to the greater good. Especially with his history. Not that he's looking to die, but sometimes he does have to be stopped.]

And I know that's not easy on you. It wouldn't be easy on anyone.

[attainathons]

Yeah, but if he hadn't, if he had given me Willow's real message, what if - ( she shakes her head, leaning it down against his shoulder. ) I'd still be the high school. My mom would still give the big speech and he'd still break up with me. In the sewer of all places. ( she looks up at him. ) Not that I'm trying to make it sound like I miss a life with Angel or what could have been with Angel. I was in college after that and, well, you know a lot of my sordid ( read: depressive ) history. It's just - days like today make me think. And normally, I like thinking, I'm thinko-gal. But, sometimes, if I could just turn my brain off. Five minutes, that's all I ask.

[somanyadjectives]

Mmmmm.

[Stefan flashes her a smirk as he pulls her closer.]

I may have some suggestions on that front. I think I've become quite the expert at distracting Buffy Summers.

[Especially since he's signing up to do so for the rest of his life. But he also recognizes that after doing a bunch of murder may not have either of them in the mood.]

But maybe we get some sleep first. It's been a long night.

[attainathons]

Sleep, and then ample amounts of distraction.

( Buffy's orders. )

[somanyadjectives]

Yes, ma'am.

[He leans in to kiss her, as they shift to settle in to sleep.]

Sleep well. We have nowhere else to be.

[ ... Little do they know.]

[attainathons]

( Buffy doesn't get nearly enough sleep when Stefan's phone rings again. She groans as he shifts and answers it. She hears in Stefan's tone the seriousness of the call and she rolls over, looking at his back as he talks. Something tells her this is a get up and go conversation. )

[somanyadjectives]

[He hangs up the phone and scrubs his hands over his face, taking a breath as he tries to steel himself for what's coming next. He really didn't want to deal with Kai today, but apparently he doesn't have a choice.]

I have to go to Williamsburg.

[attainathons]

Can't live without the funny hats?

( She shifts, sitting up before sliding closer and resting a chin on his shoulder. )

[somanyadjectives]

[He smirks, before glancing back at her fondly.]

If only.

[He then shakes his head.]

Have we talked much about Jo Laughlin's coven?

[attainathons]

They're Gemini. The girls are also Gemini. There was a scary 22nd birthday thing they avoided because Lizzie went grr argh. They are siphons, so they don't have their own magic. Is Jo in Williamsburg?

( Is Stefan going to be channeled? )

Or, is this about the girls?

[somanyadjectives]

Jo is in Williamsburg, and this is not about the girls.

[Thankfully.]

The scary twenty-second birthday thing is called the Merge, where twins of the Gemini Coven basically have a magical power struggle and one twin absorbs the other. Jo went through this later in life, because of reasons, but the brother that she merged with is named Kai. And he's a murderous sociopath who really hurt Bonnie and is the one who cursed Elena with the sleeping beauty curse.

And now, for some reason, he seems to be back, but is claiming he means no harm, which both Ric and Jo do not trust, so they want me to head dive him and see if he's actually telling the truth because I'm the nearest trustworthy vampire who also won't just immediately kill Kai before we know what's going on.

[attainathons]

I liked it when you were overseas and not everybody's go-to vampire. But, I also like Elena safe and not cursed.

( She slides away and out from under the covers, grabbing a sweater, getting dressed. )

[somanyadjectives]

Me too. For both myself and Elena.

[And then he remembers the conversation he had with his brother last night and sighs.]

I should also check in with Elena before we leave.

[He needs to make sure she talked to Damon. For her, not Damon.]

[attainathons]

We can stop by her room.

( Whatever he needs. But, she reads into something. )

We shouldn't be worried she's not okay, right? This is just a, hey, making sure you're getting your eight hours?

( Or, however many )

[somanyadjectives]

No, it's not about her. It's about something Damon said to me last night when I called him about Matt.

[Which he doesn't want to put it out loud because it doesn't make any sense.]

She needs to talk to him, and I don't know if she will unless someone pushes. Which I know isn't fair, but ... she needs to know.

[attainathons]

I just want you to know how hard that was to follow, vagueness aside. But, Elena trusts you and trusts what you have to say. She knows if you think it's important, it is.

( Which really counts for something. )

But, for the record, if you want to talk through it beforehand or even after, I give pretty good advice. When I know what I'm giving advice about. Just putting it out there.

[somanyadjectives]

Me actually telling her what it is might not incentivize her to call him.

[If she's already incredulous, he doesn't know if she'll be able to talk to Damon.]

It's ... possibly crazier than all the recent resurrections we've been dealing with. She needs to hash this out with Damon, not me.

[attainathons]

Then do your best to convince her to contact her ex who is also your brother.

( She makes a face. )

You know what I mean. And aren't we also under the gun with Kai? Let's get to chopping. Or, step to - chop. I don't know the saying, but we need to go. So, Elena's room?