for the rest of us death will be a relief

[praevaricatio]

Comments

[packguy]

Hey, man.

[There's a pauses he tries to figure out how to start this conversation. Seems like the best way is to rip the band-aid off.]

Weird question, but do you have a beta named Erica?

[engender]

( He almost hears her name, but he shouldn't. It's been so long. )

I did, at one time. I could've done better for her. Why, who's bringing up her name?

[packguy]

[Aiden swallows, because given that Cas was involved, with the Winchesters, it could mean a lot of things. But probably best to rip off my band-aid.]

She's in my car. Wolfing down my spare beef jerky like no one's fed her in months.

[He should have noticed something was off when she said Derek was her alpha. Derek hasn't been an alpha for a long time and she's so young. There's no way he could have turned her and her still be a teenager if she hadn't died. Or fallen through a hole in time. Or whatever other craziness seems to be on the table these days.

But he won't say anything else. Just give Derek a chance to process.]

[engender]

( He relives that saga all over again in an instant, turning Erica, Isaac, and Boyd, training them. Losing Isaac, Erica and Boyd. Finding his sister and Boyd, finding Erica dead. Throwing a glass at Isaac to get him to leave him - he failed as alpha four times over. With Scott, too. )

I'm at Hayley's.

( He finally remembers to use words. )

You're sure it's Erica. Erica Reyes.

[packguy]

[Aiden sneakily snaps a picture of her from the angle that he has, which is mostly a side profile, from the shoulders up, but he does catch her smile as she laughs at a joke Josh told, and then texts it to Derek.]

She didn't give a last name, but I sent you a picture.

[engender]

( He brings down the phone, doesn't react, and brings it back up. )

That's Erica. Where did she come from?

( Among other questions. ) Are you coming back into the quarter?

[packguy]

Not sure. A friend of ours is the one who found and and brought her to us because she was a werewolf so he felt she needed werewolf help.

[Which isn't entirely wrong, but it's a very linear line of thinking, which he's come to expect with Castiel, though he doesn't know him well yet.]

But yeah, we're heading back now. We can bring her right to you.

[engender]

Who found her?

( Has she been alive this entire time? He remembers finding her body. He remembers Isaac remembering. She died. He was sure of it. )

[packguy]

Castiel. He's ... a friend of the Winchesters.

[It's still weird to say "Angel of the Lord," so he's not going to. Friend of the Winchesters is simpler. They're friends with a lot of weird people.]

She wasn't the only one. There was someone with her, but he brought Erica to us because she was a werewolf and thought she would be more comfortable.

[engender]

( He remembers the Winchesters, but not with great context. They threatened Stiles. But, were on hand when Allison died but didn't die and Dean drove them. )

That's a hell of a coincidence. You can bring her to Hayley's, who, I now need to call.

[packguy]

Yep, you do that. We should be back in the Quarter in about an hour.

[Maybe a little longer if they take pity on her and they decide to roll through McDonalds for a better meal than spare beef jerky. But with that he will hang up and head back to the car so Derek can make his phone calls.]

[engender]

( Derek ends the call and then sees an alert on a message with a host of numbers on it, some recognized and some not. He reads it to himself first. He sends a succinct message that people who matter will understand.

And then he calls his girlfriend, getting up from the couch. He holds the phone under his chin as he starts to straighten up and clears out some lunch still on plates in the kitchen, scraping them over the trash can. )

[werewolfqueen]

[Hayley steps away from her meeting with Davina, making some arrangements for Beltane but also Christmas but also whatever other witch holidays come with the winter months. She feels the phone vibrate in her pocket and steps away.]

Hey, I was just about to call you. I have a couple more things to handle, but I was going to bring back dinner.

[engender]

Maybe you could bring enough for three. I don't know if you've been on this group we've been included in. But, there are people from other ...times, or who have been missing, or haven't been around for years. This is coming from the Winchesters. And Aiden who's on his way to our place with Erica.

( He doesn't ramble, but says very serious things in piecemeal Derek ways. He's opened up to Hayley before about Erica and Boyd and Isaac and why he and Isaac are strained and why they work under Scott. He's never recovered from it - in Isaac's eyes. But, he's also never tried.

Erica, she'd recognize. )

A friend of the Winchesters found her in the Bayou, thought she'd be better with other wolves.

[werewolfqueen]

[That is a lot of information and it takes her a minute to process it. She is on that text chain and will be investigating it later but right now she wants to focus on Derek.]

Are you okay?

[She doesn't know how he can be. She wouldn't be, if it were her. But she will make space for it, regardless. Give him the chance to tell her.]

[engender]

That depends on how Erica is, what she remembers. If she's been missing all these years and that wasn't her body Isaac remembers.

( And if it's not, what has she been through? And if it is, the trauma from it. There are now a thousand possibilities, especially from someone named, Buffy's contributions.

What kind of name is Buffy? )

[werewolfqueen]

Okay. So food first, feelings later. It is the werewolf way.

[She's joking, but also she's not joking.]

What does she like? Does she have a favorite food?

[engender]

I don't - ( It's been a long, long time. ) Maybe burgers and fries. Keep it simple. Or, Chinese. I don't know. I can ask Aiden - ( That's lame, as he sighs. ) for suggestions.

[werewolfqueen]

[She can hear that loss, though she would argue it's been years. You can't be expected to remember every little preference of a dead girl.]

Okay. Burgers and fries it is.

[She pauses.]

Try not to linger too much on the past, okay? In my experience, the past that lives in our head is always way worse than what actually happened. Just try to deal with what's in front of you.

[engender]

( He loves her.

Now is probably not the time to say it. But, he smiles to himself. )

Thanks. I'll see you, soon. I might call before you get here, if I think of something else. Or, if she gets here and needs... something else. Just. Stay close to your phone.

[yourtype]

["I'll be here."

Which may read as "I love you too," but that's for a conversation another time. For now, she hangs up and gives Derek time to get ready for Erica's arrival.

Which will come soon enough. They arrive outside Hayley's place, and Erica peers up at the building, trying to fit this into the context of Derek's life now. She's started to piece together that something happened to her. She doesn't recognize any of the songs on Aiden's radio, and the way Josh and Aiden talk around Derek is strange. Never mind the fact that Derek is in New Orleans, not Beacon Hills.

But she can't think about that too hard, not yet.]

So who's Hayley?

["Hayley is my alpha," Aiden replies, and Erica nods.]

And she and Derek are ...

[Aiden pauses, and then makes a face. "Involved?"

Erica smirks.]

You can say they're dating. I mean, it'd still be weird because it's Derek and he doesn't emote like a normal person, but I'm a big girl. I can take it.

[Aiden laughs. "Honestly, it's more that I'm not really allowed to comment on Hayley's love life. Derek's a good guy, though." He pauses before glancing back at her. "You want us to go in with you?"

Erica hesitates, before shaking her head. She can handle facing her alpha. Even knowing something's off, she can't shake the residual feeling he might be mad, but she won't put that on Aiden and Josh.]

I'll be okay. Thanks for the ride.

[engender]

( "Use that number," Josh says, talking about the slip of paper he gave her a moment ago. "if you need anything else. Derek's pack. So, you're pack." They're on the same side. Vampires are not loyal like werewolves, not in that way, but he's seen the unbreakable bond of pack firsthand through his husband and through Hayley. Davina's kind of pack, too, when he thinks about it.

Derek watches from up above, having heard the car come to a stop. He briefly sends out a message.

He doesn't let her get up the stairs, or even in the building, before he's opening the front door.

He's a little older, leaner, and less cold than she remembers. There is guilt in those eyes. And shock. Shock seems to be going around. )

[yourtype]

[Erica takes the number with a nod and slides out of the car. She doesn't have a phone yet, but she'll hold onto it until she does. As she turns to face him on the sidewalk, she can feel the "fine" facade that she's been trying to hold up begin to crumble in the face of her alpha.

The one who told her not to run, but she did.

The one who warned her that they were safer as a pack, and maybe he was right.

Tears flood her eyes so quickly and she knows she should try to get a handle on her feelings but it's been three months (she thinks) and she knows he's probably so angry with them, even if she doesn't see it on his face right now.]

Derek, please don't be mad.

[engender]

( It pains him to see her - and see her like this, to think that he would cause these tears. She looks exactly like he remembers her. He knows when she must be from. Around then, anyway. He doesn't know how to ask about the vault or about the alpha pack. He's never been good at this and defers to Scott, often. And, now, Hayley, here. But, Scott is still his alpha. )

I'm not mad. ( He says it plainly. Because he's sorry for so much. But he's not mad at her. He never was. He keeps his apology inside as he holds the door open for her. ) Come inside. We can talk. I've been living in an apartment upstairs.

[yourtype]

[She nods, swiping at her face as she follows and taking the reassurance at face value that he isn't angry. He doesn't smell angry either so that much is a relief. But she can also sense that there is something he's not quite telling her yet.

She's starting to feel like she has a sense of what it is.

Once they're inside his and Hayley's apartment (he assumes Hayley, and her scent is interesting. A little like Aiden but also a little like Josh), she looks around and asks the question she can only ask him.]

It's been a while, hasn't it? I mean, I don't remember anything after Kali came into the vault, but I think it would have taken more than three months for you to give up on on us, move to New Orleans and get a girlfriend.

[Part of her doesn't want to know how long it's been, but she knows that secrets aren't going to get her anywhere.]

And you ... you don't feel the same.

[Like he's not an alpha anymore. He's just another wolf like her.]