for the rest of us death will be a relief

[praevaricatio]

Comments

[patrols]

["Water's in the sink." He'll grab two glasses for them but that actually sounds like a challenge so he'll do what he does best.

Walk directly into the other room where Damon and Lindsay are talking, brazenly pick up the bottle, and walk back out again.

Lindsay will track this and roll her eyes before answering Damon's question.]

Yep. I got the contract from the venue this afternoon so hopefully I'll be able to go through and make sure all the vendors we've liked so far are approved.

[unforgivably]

Where -

( He brings his arms up, like, is this --- aunting?

Gray turns with cold water in two glass and sees - oh, the bottle. )

You think the paternity test is the way to go?

[patrols]

[Lindsay sighs.]

That kid has absolutely no fear. He used to break into the Abattoir to crash for the night with no notice because he was reasonably certain that Klaus wouldn't kill him because it would make Cami sad. And apparently he was correct. So if he's not scared of Klaus, there's no way he'd be scared of you.

[That being said.]

Might as well know for sure. Taking them at their word is one thing but I think Elena would want proof.

[Stephanie's brow furrows. "Sorry, when she says Klaus does she mean Klaus Mikaelson?" She may not have dived in like Gray, but she knows some things.

Colm nods. "He's my cousin-in-law."

"Isn't he supposed to be dead?"]

[unforgivably]

I don't need him to be scared of me, I stole that whiskey for me and not my magic kids.

( But, he ... lowers his voice again. )

Why would they lie. What would anyone get out of lying like that. Pretending to me Elena's kids and then finding me? Real intelligent plan.

( Thanks, sis, change the subject.

"He is dead," Gray confirms. "And he's got some really bad stories about him." )

[patrols]

I dunno. And I'm not saying they are. But confirmation, just to cover your bases, doesn't hurt anyone.

[Colm shrugs, before tipping his head back towards the living room. "So does your family and you don't see me judging. Stefan Salvatore's your uncle, yeah?"

He's just saying.]

[unforgivably]

Yeah.

( The keys turn in the lock and a humming Beck returns.

"I love New Orleans, there's always some kind of band playing," he says, happy, bag of steaks and some more sides in hand.

"Also dead," Gray says, flatly. "But, I see your point." )

[strippername]

Not here. He's coming to my brother's wedding.

[Which is his way of saying to check your expectations of anyone you may or may not meet by the door. But he will go help his brother with the steaks and the sides and work on setting the table and getting all of them around it.

Lindsay will push up from the couch with Damon and make her way over to Stephanie and Gray.

"Are you guys feeling up to talking, or would you rather eat first?"]

[unforgivably]

( "We knew that," Gray said. "There are some big differences. Our dad's a vampire." A beat. "Is he going to the wedding, too?"

Damon sits, being the unhelpful friend.

"We've been talking. To Colm. But, if you think talking to you will help, then let's all talk." Gray pushes off of the counter and gets out of the way of the prep. "Thanks, for tempering our expectations," he says, gratefully to Colm.

Damon gets up from the couch, moving to the table, because Gray and Stephanie move to sit there, along with Lindsay. )

[patrols]

["He's the man of honor." Which may or may not give them the information they need, but that's all they get before Lindsay comes in.

Colm gives him a thumbs up at the thanks. Lindsay nods, because fair enough.]

This is going to be a different kind of talk. I need to know what you guys remember about how you got here. Were there any clues that something was up before you ran into your dad at Rosseau's?

[scrutinously]

( It's a wedding he doesn't much care about, sorry, dad, but good to know he's not a complete vampire menace to not be invited to such things.

Gray exhales, thinking back. )

Not really, not until after I got out of the shower. I noticed the uh, sheets were a different color in the bedroom. Steph thought so, too, in hers but just thought we got them wrong. For a second, I thought Lenore had come in and changed them while we were getting settled. ( Which was fucked up. ) Couldn't find my wallet or my phone, but Steph's was in her hand, with her wallet in her pocket, too, so she has all hers. The uh, the water pressure did something weird, too. But, I thought it was just old pipes.

( A beat. He starts to look down at his simple shirt, hoody and shorts. )

That's probably not our Air B and B anymore, is it. And I probably stole these.

[patrols]

Okay.

[She pulls out her phones and makes some notes for when she compares and contrasts with the other people who were affected.]

We will get you some new clothes and new phones and somewhere new to stay.

[Probably with Damon, hopefully his new place has space.]

I don't know if Damon told you but you're not the only one this has happened to. We've got people popping up all over the country, so you're not alone. But I'm going to see if we have anyone that knows about other timelines that might be able to better help.

["So what do we do until then?" Stephanie asked. "Just hide in Dad's apartment or whatever until you figure out how to fix it?"]

[scrutinously]

And, he didn't exactly tell us, but he also hasn't been subtle. Like, uncle Matt.

( "I wasn't trying to be subtle, I was sitting across from you. If I didn't want you to know something, I would not take calls in front of you." he says. For the record! )

That's what we're calling it, though. Other timelines?

[patrols]

[She refrains from saying: "Unless you were also brutally murdered before you fell through, it's the safest option."]

For now, yes. At least until I talk to more of you to find a better point of commonality. There is another one here in New Orleans, but I've been told I have to wait for the local alpha to give me the all clear.

[She would make a joke about Derek hiding behind his hybrid girlfriend, but no, there's a traumatized teenage girl involved, she will keep that to herself.]

[scrutinously]

Because she's also a werewolf. That's what she's the alpha of? A werewolf pack?

( He never met his mom's old friend, Tyler. And that was something terrible he learned when everything came crashing down early senior year. )

So there are a lot of us. Enough to warrant all these sit downs.

[patrols]

Technically she's a hybrid, but she's also the alpha of the Crescent Pack. Her name is Hayley Marshall.

[Stephanie holds up a hand. "Hayley Marshall like Hope Mikaelson's mom?" She looks at Gray. "Isn't she also supposed to be dead?"

Colm catches the sound of that and frowns. "Never tell Hope any of this, should you meet her." Which if they're staying in New Orleans for a while, they might.]

[scrutinously]

She's definitely dea-- ( he starts, cut off, properly. He needs to be. ) That's something for your notes. Just ask us who's not alive ( he offers. ) And, before you ask, considering dad's surprise, uncle Matt is alive. But, until today, he wasn't here, was he?

( Damon doesn't shift as he does his very best attempt at being honest, but not letting on anything else.

"He wasn't. You keep this up, I'm going to start calling you Jessica Fletcher." )

Who?

[patrols]

Angela Lansbury? Murder She Wrote?

[Stephanie's blank stare matches Gray's and Lindsay sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.]

Young people.

[Stephanie rolls her eyes. "So Uncle Matt was dead but now he's not. Is it the same thing with Hope's parents?"

Lindsay shakes her head.]

Far as I know, they've never died.

[A beat.]

Aside from the first time when they became all ... fangy.

[scrutinously]

They definitely both died. ( He nods, knowing the history. ) But, we're not going to tell that to everyone, okay. As far as we're concerned, it doesn't leave this table. Right dad.

( "I'm not looking to drop your lore on the unsuspecting, especially because said people would probably have borderline violent reactions. The Mikaelsons have mellowed, but not enough to take their deaths lying down." )

[patrols]

Yeah, I wouldn't volunteer that information unless asked.

[So many people in the Mikaelsons inner circle are supposed to be dead. Really, it would be a bloodbath. Klaus, Hayley, Cami, Elijah, Josh, Aiden, yeah, no best to keep their mouths shut.]

And even if you are asked, be careful who you actually say it to.

[Stephanie makes a face because that sounds a lot like censorship to her, but she can at least see the argument in terms of safety. "So what now? We just hang out here until you figure out how to send us home? Because you are sending us home, right?"

Lindsay takes a deep breath before nodding.]

We will do our best, but until we figure out how you landed here, it's going to take time.

["So how do we figure that out? Because I have a life to get back to and our actual parents are probably flipping out."]

[scrutinously]

Hey. She's going to try. She can't guarantee anything, like we can't guarantee anything. But, we'll do our best. If this happened in our world, our parents would help. Right?

( If they can, they will.

"Also, you're not just hanging out here, though you are lucky enough to experience Beckford's cooking, you have a place with me. I don't have a lot going on right now and your mom will call me back. We'll go from there."

He hopes his brother got through to her and that he doesn't have to double tap a voicemail. )

[patrols]

[Lindsay glances down at her watch.]

After dinner we should have enough time to hit up a Target or something. Get you some supplies for at least the next few days.

[Because it's definitely going to take that long.]

Slayers unfortunately are not equipped for multiverse stuff unless it's a demon dimension so I gotta go find an expert.

[unforgivably]

I've done the 'shirt off my back' thing. It gets old. We'll get everyone all new threads.

( Is he trying too hard. Whatever. At least he's trying. )

Do you have any more questions for my children or is the interrogation over for now?

[meanestgirl]

[She shakes her head. "No, that's all I had. I'll see if I can get in touch with the other people affected and we'll go from there."

And with that they'll eat, and make a Target run for clothes and toiletries, before finally making it back to Damon's place. Fortunately for them, their father opts for more rather than less, so they each have their own bedroom. It's still a small space, however, so while she does want to talk to her brother, she doesn't want Damon eavesdropping. So she texts Gray on her new phone.]

So what's the plan? Just sit here and wait for them to figure it out?

[scrutinously]

I don't see any other choice. We're at a loss and disconnected from ( everything. their lives. their parents. their real parents? it hurts his head to type, but ) our world.

[meanestgirl]

What if they decide it's not worth it? What if they decide to just leave us here with our fake not-parents and no way to actually do anything about it?

[Because that may be her biggest fear. Getting too comfortable in this world that isn't hers.]