for the rest of us death will be a relief

[praevaricatio]

Comments

[happiness_elude]

I can try.

[She won't promise she'll be perfect or guarantee something she can't give. She and Jenna squabbled like crazy when they were children. But she does want to talk to her sister, and she can at least not bring up vampire things so if they do squabble, it won't be about that.]

Do you have her number?

[barely]

Yeah, yeah, I'm sending it over now. I'm also real tired, but, if you want to call me back after. I'll answer. If you need me. For anything. Love you.

( And he sends her the number passed from Stiles to Caroline to him. )

[happiness_elude]

Love you too. Go to sleep.

[She will not call if anything goes wrong, but she send him a text with an update and they can talk about it tomorrow. She'll then hang up and pull up he number in the text message. She takes a deep breath, before making the call, placing the phone to her ear as she waits for her sister to answer.]

[unpreparedness]

( She doesn't know if the person on the other end is going to be her sister. The sheriff is off duty, so she's been told anything official is going straight to Deputy Parrish. This means this should be her. Or, Elena. Or, someone else. She's heard a lot of names today. She owes an apology to Caroline.

She takes a big gulp from her mug of whiskey before answering. )

Hello?

( Her throat is a little dryer, so she clears it. )

Hello? Beacon Hills Sheriff's something?

[happiness_elude]

[She wonders, idly, where Beacon Hills is. How far away Jenna is from where she is in Kansas. Maybe she should have asked Jeremy that before she let him go. But the rest of her brain is shortcut with the fact that it's her sister's voice. And she thought she was never going to hear it again.]

Jenna?

[She probably should say more, but for the moment that's all she gets out.]

[unpreparedness]

( She was expecting this call, so why does it hit so hard. )

Yeah, hall monitor. It's me. I'm in California and being sequestered away from the werefamily drama. I'm impressed, though, not one of the werewolves I've met even comes close to having Tyler Lockwood's temper. ( it's natural for her to just go on. ) Sorry, I just - I also recently, my recently, just learned about all this. I got the crash course and then got lured out into the front yard like a chump. Basically. Just saying, I'm also still new at this and I love you. And I tried really hard to be there for Elena and Jeremy and the boys and the girls and the teenage stuff that I was cursed with because now I understand what it was like to raise me... and I just feel like I failed. I failed your kids and that was the one thing I promised you and...

[happiness_elude]

You didn't fail them, Jenna.

[She can't let her think that. Can't let her assume that is the thought she's been having about her sister over the months that she's been sitting, stewing in this bunker.]

You didn't ... you did the best you could. And they're here and alive so far be it from me to see that as anything other than a success.

[unpreparedness]

Normally, I'd ask you to let me feel my feelings, but I'm remembering they're all over the place, so let's step away from the parental figure guilt. ( Focus on facts and questions. ) How are you back?

[happiness_elude]

It's a long ...

[Well, she's supposed to be a distraction, isn't she? If not the time for long stories now, then when?

Alright, time to go back to the beginning:]

Do you remember Dean Winchester?

[unpreparedness]

That kid who had a thing for Elena? Their dad left them with you and Grayson.

( She remembers. She... can't for the death of her figure out where this is going, which actually makes it tittilating. )

[happiness_elude]

Right, well, he and Elena are together now. And she was helping them with a project that triggered some kind of spell and it brought me and Grayson back to life. It was a failsafe, so that a witch they were hunting would have some bodies to jump into to prolong their life.

But she was handled, and because she was handled a certain way, Grayson and I got to stay.

[Does that make any sense? She doesn't really think so but it's also the truth.]

[unpreparedness]

( It makes more sense than she thinks. Not, that she has experience in any of it. Only the very long story Alaric and Elena told her and Stefan all told her at various points. Damon was snarkier, but he made the crazy sound fun, at least. )

Elena's boyfriend was working on a witch-hunting project that brought you two back to life. ( Well, at least she's being told. ) How are you taking that? Got any good tips for someone crawling their way back to relevance?

[happiness_elude]

Honestly, I'm not sure I have any. I'm saying the wrong things and I've been stuck in a bunker for the past month with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

[She's not having a great time.]

Elena and I keep fighting. I'm ... it's hard. Especially after so long. When I left she was still a child and still needed me and now she's well into adulthood and a doctor and has this whole life that I don't fit in anymore, because she had to grow without me.

[unpreparedness]

...Like a bomb shelter?

( Why is her sister in a bunker? )

She needs you, just in a different way. You'll relearn each other. When... you're out of that bunker.

[happiness_elude]

Dean and his brother have a bunker. They inherited it? I think? Elena's living there now.

[A beat.]

It's actually rather comfortable for a bunker, it's just oppressive when you can't really go anywhere else. But that's what I'm hoping. I think we both need some space.

[But venting her problems was not the point of this phone call.]

How are you doing?

[unpreparedness]

I think anywhere you couldn't leave would become oppressive. There were a few weekends I kept myself on lockdown on campus.

( but her sister isn't keeping herself there. what's keeping here there? )

Not being dead agrees with me? ( Is that fair? ) I'm alive. Sort of. Still sorting through it all and blatantly not asking questions about what life is like in 2040-something, if that even is the year. I'm okay. The last thing I remember is ... not something I'll ever forget, but, I'm here now. In California.

[happiness_elude]

Elena told me what happened.

[Not the same as being there, obviously, but she knows. Jenna doesn't have to tell her - not that she was probably going to.]

She'll be really happy to see you. I think she carries a lot of guilt about it.

[unpreparedness]

I don't blame Elena, and if she needs me to say that to her face, I will. ( She closes her eyes, reliving the ring of fire. Of Elena talking her through vampire fundamentals. Doing the damage she could before her life ended. ) That was all Klaus.

[happiness_elude]

Caroline says that she puts a lot on herself she doesn't have to.

[And it's something Miranda wishes she could make easier, but again, they're not communicating at their best right now.]

But she was prone to that before her life became full of vampires and death.

[unpreparedness]

I remember how she blamed herself for Caroline's crushing defeat at being student council president. And, how, even though we all knew Elena was making the right decision about Matt - Dean Winchester not withstanding, she blamed herself.

( What girl hasn't thought, "Is it me," any day of the week. )

I didn't handle it all great, but in my defense, Elena's birth mother rang our doorbell and dropped the bomb that she was a: alive and b: Elena and her had met before. And, she was my boyfriend at the time, Alaric's, ex-wife. And he also knew she'd been alive. I found out weeks later what all that meant. I was working on forgiving everyone and being kept inside. But, I didn't stay inside.

[happiness_elude]

[Miranda thinks back to the night she first realized what vampires actually were. How Grayson told her to stay inside, and she did, but how silly it had sounded the first time he asked it her.]

You couldn't have known, Jenna. What it all really meant. No one prepared you for it.

[And then her own hint of guilt because she should have prepared her.]

I should have. I'm sorry.

[unpreparedness]

They tried. I got the crash course. Even got a handy less on the ins and outs of the crossbow.

( Pointless to her, eventually. )

It wasn't your place to tell me. I was your kid sister. I was in grad school. Not... around vampires. Oh. Except, Logan Fell? Returned. And was turned. I didn't know then, but Elena told me later on. Still an ass to his dying day.

[happiness_elude]

Why doesn't that surprise me. Of all the founding families, the Fells some how were always the worst.

[Never change, Fells. Never change.]

Though it doesn't seem that there are much of the founding families left anymore.

[unpreparedness]

Bet they still are.

( She would take a literal bet. )

I can't believe that. Really?

[happiness_elude]

Really. I think it may just be the Fells and Elena and Jeremy. Caroline's a vampire and her parents are dead, and Zach Salvatore is dead from what I understand.

[She pauses.]

I'm not sure where werewolves would fall in terms of the Council, so I suppose Tyler still counts? But they're certainly not performing as the Council has in the past.

[AKA: hunting vampires.]