Relationships are hard. Especially when it's one that you're trying to transition into something different - something more intimate - it needs to be something both sides are ready for.
[It's complicated and messy, but nothing is unsalvageable if you're willing to try.]
But I think, maybe, you should sit with why Ben was upset with you and see if you understand where he's coming from. And if you can't, maybe have that conversation when you both aren't upset with each other.
I'm not upset with him. I love him. I meant when I told him he was a damn good guy. I don't want to fix him, but I did want to help. And, knowing now he doesn't want help, he just wants the ear. I can do that. I made it about myself.
( He sighs. )
He probably thinks I wasn't even listening. But I was. I listen when he talks. I like when he talks. Fuck, I like him a lot. I love the little shit and I'm a dick.
[Apologize. Be better at actively listening. Maybe give him a little space. The Ben playbook is a fairly simple one.]
Maybe try talking to him again after the party. I know there's some stuff he wanted to talk to Dean about. Give him some space to get that out and he'll probably be more receptive.
Then I think you really need to think about what you want, with intentionality, and figure out what you have to do. And true, Ben may not be in the same place. He has his own needs that are going to have to be met.
But that doesn't mean it's outside of the realm of possibility.
( Hey, he's not crying, OK. He's just following his feelings. And his dad would never, so when he gets a Rudy hug, there's nothing better. He does eventually separate. )
Thanks, Rudy.
( But, enough of this. He grabs his jacket, returns to the door, and lets Rudy back out before closing it behind him. He eyes the door next to them, if Rudy heard it, Lisa heard it. But, he doesn't say anything. )
See you later. Really.
( He won't skip.
And with that, he'll head down the hall and then back down the stairs. A quick message:
Room's free so you can change.
Let's table my sorry for after your big debut. But, it's coming. Because I owe it.
And Lisa isn't right there on the other side of the door, but she is half-not-really-reading a book she brought when Rudy returns. )
[Rudy nods and let's him go, heading back to the room with Lisa to finish getting ready himself.
And Ben ... well, Ben leaves him on read. Not intentionally, or to prove a point, but more because responding with an emoji feels trite and, well, he gets distracted possibly having lunch with Elena's surprise kids.
They'll catch up at the party. It's the best Ben can do right now.]
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[There have been other opportunities. Why was this moment the one he chose?]
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Cause I'm a coward.
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Relationships are hard. Especially when it's one that you're trying to transition into something different - something more intimate - it needs to be something both sides are ready for.
[A pause.]
Have the two of you talked about it at all?
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( no. they haven't. not even close. )
Did I screw everything up.
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[It's complicated and messy, but nothing is unsalvageable if you're willing to try.]
But I think, maybe, you should sit with why Ben was upset with you and see if you understand where he's coming from. And if you can't, maybe have that conversation when you both aren't upset with each other.
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( He sighs. )
He probably thinks I wasn't even listening. But I was. I listen when he talks. I like when he talks. Fuck, I like him a lot. I love the little shit and I'm a dick.
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[Apologize. Be better at actively listening. Maybe give him a little space. The Ben playbook is a fairly simple one.]
Maybe try talking to him again after the party. I know there's some stuff he wanted to talk to Dean about. Give him some space to get that out and he'll probably be more receptive.
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( He definitely sabotaged himself. )
Really did just... find his eyes and all I wanted in that moment - so fucking stupid.
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[He knows that Dickerson is going to beat himself up for this enough. He can at least provide some quiet reassurance.]
Love is complicated. Sometimes we don't always think before we act.
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( and, no, Ben is not the reason his engagement failed. that was just on him. )
I don't want to keep relying on the status quo.
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Then I think you really need to think about what you want, with intentionality, and figure out what you have to do. And true, Ben may not be in the same place. He has his own needs that are going to have to be met.
But that doesn't mean it's outside of the realm of possibility.
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( If their relationship completely changed. )
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[If it's what they both want, then he's sure that he and Lisa both would be happy for them.]
We haven't tried to get rid of you so far. We're not going to start now.
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( He doesn't want to sit in an empty room. )
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I'll text it to you. I don't think it's that far from here, but I haven't explored much.
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( He fights the urge, but then leans in and lets himself wrap his arms around his surrogate dad, burying his head in his shoulder. )
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It'll be okay. World isn't going to end, even if this does take a little time to work out.
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Thanks, Rudy.
( But, enough of this. He grabs his jacket, returns to the door, and lets Rudy back out before closing it behind him. He eyes the door next to them, if Rudy heard it, Lisa heard it. But, he doesn't say anything. )
See you later. Really.
( He won't skip.
And with that, he'll head down the hall and then back down the stairs. A quick message:
Room's free so you can change.
Let's table my sorry for after your big debut. But, it's coming. Because I owe it.
And Lisa isn't right there on the other side of the door, but she is half-not-really-reading a book she brought when Rudy returns. )
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And Ben ... well, Ben leaves him on read. Not intentionally, or to prove a point, but more because responding with an emoji feels trite and, well, he gets distracted possibly having lunch with Elena's surprise kids.
They'll catch up at the party. It's the best Ben can do right now.]