everyonelives | but oh what a year

[Ben nods as he makes his way down onto the grass, staring out over the property before shaking his head in response.]

I still can't believe that all of this is someone's house.

[They could probably fit five of the houses he grew up in across the lawn alone.

Also is he stalling? Maybe he might be stalling a little.]

Been in his family for who knows how long. Think before we took it over for graduation last year, it was mostly a museum, though.

( Until then and now, that is. )

I don't know any Lockwood trivia, though, if that's what you're looking for.

No.

[He's sure if he wanted some trivia he could go get it out of Carol. No, he's here to talk about them.]

I wanted to talk to you about something. I need you to kind of ... take this with an open mind. I'm not trying to critique you. I'm just talking about my feelings, okay?

( Shit. Okay. He does his best not to brace himself. This is open communication. He takes constructive criticism, doesn't he? (No. Not well.) But this feels different. He sets aside the pit in his stomach. All he can do is hear the kid out. His kid out. )

Okay.

[Ben nods and takes a deep breath before starting at the beginning.]

I've been thinking a lot at why it bothered me that you kept feeling like you had to apologize for leaving. And then I was thinking a lot about how things went last time and some of the things I did to get you to come home. And I was wondering if a part of it may have been coming from that?

You mean, my apologies? Look, I know what you were doing. And you were a kid, so I didn't blame you.

( It was hard all around, and maybe especially on Dean and his mom, but he recognizes it wasn't easy on Ben. )

We had the talk. You called when it counted.

( After the false alarm. )

I stopped, though. My wall of apologies. I can't take any of it back. I can only do better now. Took me a minute for that to settle.

No, that's not ...

[He takes a deep breath because he's getting it wrong.]

I'm not saying you apologizing was bad I'm just - I don't want us to be in a place where you feel like you have to. Where you feel like you're choosing between me and Elena or me and Sam or me and ... any of these people that you care about. I know I wanted to be a priority when I was a kid, but ... I don't need that as much now.

[He's an adult. He doesn't need him all the time.]

And clearly Elena is dangerous if she's left to her own devices for too long.

[That's a joke. But it's also evidenced by her running around being the Christmas fairy.]

I don't think all or nothing is going to work. Not this time. So I have an idea, if you're open to it.

( Oh. Shit. His son is being a man right now. That's the definition of what's happening. All of a sudden, Dean wells up with pride. His downturned expression flips, impressed. Is this being a parent, this pride in who your son is?

He laughs at the last part about Elena. )

Never let her make chili.

( He trades a joke for a joke. He keeps back all the adoration and pride swelling up. )

Go for it.

( He really wants to hear it. )

We just set time. Once a week, that's for us to talk or hang or whatever. If you're in town, we can get a beer or watch a game, but if you're not we can FaceTime or talk on the phone. That way we're still connecting but it doesn't matter where you are.

[That way they're still talking. And that'll at least put them in a better place than they were before.]

And it doesn't mean that like ... once a week is the only time we talk, but we know we have at least that? And also if you know you can't make it because you have a job or whatever, it's fine as long as you let me know. But does that sound okay?

Yeah. Yeah, Ben, that sounds really okay. Sounds - sounds really good.

( He can definitely go with that. It's a great damn idea. )

You can. Call me or text me any time. I can't answer, I just won't. And I promise, a job comes up or something else. You'll know.

Good.

[And now that he got that out he deflates some. Those were all the words he had been pouring over for days and now that it's done, it's almost as though he's got nothing else.]

... Cool.

[He can't tell if he was expecting more of a fight or a negotiation, but now it feels slightly anticlimactic that he was so stressed about it.]

Cool.

( He taps his beer against his son's. Because, that didn't feel as anticlimactic to him, but he can tell it weighed Ben down. He brings the beer to his lips and smiles to himself. )

Real, real proud of you.

( He follows that up with a small swig from his beer. He thinks it's still early for other declarations, like whatever he's feeling. Is that love? He's never had that. Never been a parent. Love for Dean is sometimes twisted or extreme. He knows what he'd do for Sam again and again. And now, Ben.

He'd give it all up. But, he doesn't say that. )

[Ben isn't really sure what there is to be proud of, but he'll take it. It still feels good to hear him say it. He nods, and is about ready to just enjoy the silence when footsteps sound on the patio behind them.]

Hey. Just the guys I'm looking for.

[Her hands are empty, probably for the first time tonight, and Ben raises an eyebrow. "You already ambushed me with Christmas magic. No doubling up."

She smirks.]

Don't worry. You're not my target of attack this time.

Oh no, we already had our mistletoe mixup, and that's enough Christmas magic for me, thanks.

( He's missing this was a gift ambush, so he may need to have the record set straight. )

Not that kind of Christmas magic.

[Though that was some good magic, in her heavily biased opinion.]

You're my last gift to deliver. And it's in the car because it's for the car. Do you mind if I borrow him really quick?

[That question is more directed towards Ben and he nods. "Yeah, go. We're good."]

We are. Ben, we're - we're real good.

( "I love you," goes unsaid because he doesn't know where to start with it. If this is what it feels like. He's distracted by the impending gift, though, and follows Elena around the house. )

You realize once I come up for air, there will be a gift coming.

You did come save me from certain death. That counts as a gift, in my opinion.

[But she also will not say no to things. One of her love languages is gift giving (the other is self-sacrifice) so she does enjoy being given gifts in return.]

But I will look forward to it regardless.

[When they reach the car, she will open the driver's side door and gesture for him to get inside.]

Yeah, but I can do better.

( Or, again. Something else. Something that can be touched or enjoyed. Life is so abstract. And, sometimes, isn't enjoyed.

He gives her a look, but does as asked, putting all arms and legs inside the vehicle. She's going to close it behind him, obviously. )

[She does, and then she makes her way around the other side and slides into the passenger's side. She reaches into the footwell and picking up a wrapped box he size of a shoebox, that she then passes over to him.]

Merry Christmas.

[Inside the wrapped box, is a series of cassette tapes, all of Dean's personal favorites - or at least marked as such. She found a lot of the ones she was looking for on eBay but there was some she couldn't, so she recorded them onto blank tapes from her phone.]

I know they wear out, so I asked Sam if there were any that you hadn't had the chance to replace yet. He gave me a list.

[And she will then tap the last one on the end. This is another one the blank tapes, but it's not marked with anything that gives away what songs are on it.]

And then I was left to my own devices, so I also made you a mixtape.

( He leans over to get a look at the box before accepting it. He unwraps a little more methodically then you'd expect him to, he has his fastidious sides, and untops the box. Shit. He flicks through, pushing one tape against another as he reads the spines.

He pulls the blank one out, turning it over in his hand.

Oh. Shit. Mixtape. One of his love languages. Shit. He looks at her again. She did damn good. Leaning in, he hopes she'll do the same so he can give her a sweet thank you kiss. Because, damn. She deserves that and more. )

(no subject)

braveandstupid - 2026-03-04 01:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cholesterol - 2026-03-04 01:26 (UTC) - Expand

🎀

braveandstupid - 2026-03-04 01:38 (UTC) - Expand

( After a disappointing and embarrassing afternoon, he's turned things around enough at the party. He's opened up a new avenue, had a few beers, and met people in person and over message. The one person he wants to revel in this and wants to support he hasn't been able to. He also hasn't come up with a sleeping solution for tonight. He's been preoccupied and distracted. Ben has his own agenda. He's here for him if their paths cross again.

Coincidentally, Dickerson is the only one in the room when Ben comes in from the patio door.

He's finishing up a phone call as he looks up. Oh. )

Yeah, it's a good party. Few beers. He's around here somewhere. Yeah. Merry Christmas, Dad. Bye.

( He brings his phone down, ending the call. )

[Having gotten the conversation with Dean out of the way, he feels lighter, but when he walks in and sees Dickerson, some of that heaviness returns. He hasn't had days to overturn this conversation in his head, even though he knows it needs to happen. They can't go home, or spend hours in the car with his parents without resolving some of this.

He just doesn't know how sure he is of what he wants.

So instead he just clears his throat, and settles for something neutral.]

How's your dad?

Usual. He went up to the bar to watch the game. Helena took good care of him. Suzy says hi.

( Dickerson isn't friends with any regulars, but he knows who they are. Doesn't stop his dad from naming them like he could pick em out of the crowd.

He watches Dean and Elena head out the other way, away from where Ben had come from )

How's yours?

Good. We figured some stuff out.

[Surprisingly, it was the spontaneous one they had earlier, not the one they just had that was actually more helpful in them starting to get each other, and maybe he should take that as a portend for things to come, but for right now, he's just trying to untie the knot of his feelings to know what to say.]

Gonna try some things that don't need him to be around all the time but still allow us to spend time.

That's good. Sounds like a great place to start.

( Really. Because, that's all he really wants is for Ben's feelings to unknot or reform and eventually feel how they need to.

He slides over from the middle of the couch. )

You want to?