i'm leaving you my last curse

[bravebartender]

Comments

[camber]

( he smacks Ben's knee once, twice. )

You have a dad. You know it's your dad. I think your step one's stepped. A lot farther than some people get.

[acdc_rules]

Yeah, but I also want to punch him in the face. That's not usually step two.

[He wouldn't actually punch Dean. He'd be real bad at it. But that's just where his emotions are at.]

I'll figure it out. I just need some time.

[camber]

Hey. We're all here. Right?

( He knows they are, but hey, it's good to know reinforcements are behind you. )

Maybe don't punch your dad who just came out of the woodwork in the face.

[acdc_rules]

I'll do my best.

[He glances over at his mom.]

You okay?

[camber]

I'll punch him for ya.

( Lisa looks back at her son.

"I'm okay. You okay?"

She has some damage control, a temple massage, probably some time she'll need to devote to Rudy. But she's okay. )

[acdc_rules]

[He nods slowly, before getting to his feet.]

I should go home. Catch my breath.

[Give his mom some space to process everything without having to worry about his feelings. He's sure that she and Rudy are probably in need of a conversation without him in the room.]

But I'll let you know if I decide to reach out to him again?

[enate]

I'm here if you want to talk anything out.

( she gives him a hug, and then rests her hands on Rudy's back to walk him toward the kitchen. they need a moment and they need to eat.

"Give you a ride?" )

[nextproject]

[Ben nods, before turning and following him out to the car.

Rudy follows her back into the kitchen waiting until he hears the front door close before turning back to her.]

So. That was an eventful morning.

[enate]

Be happy there wasn't something trying to kill us.

( She tries 'light' on for size. )

But, you can say that again. I thought we were going to have a lazy weekend, but instead, we waded really far into my past I didn't know was my past. And - I'm sorry.

[nextproject]

Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. You couldn't forewarn against what you didn't remember.

[This is something that was done to her, not the other way around.]

And it's probably for the best that you got whatever it is that was done to you reversed.

[enate]

( Still. She knows what it sounds and looks like. She knows what must be going on in his head. )

No, it is. I'm just - thinking about you in all this. I at least had runway to deal with all of this. Not that I knew I did.

[nextproject]

Yeah, that I'm still working on.

[He's not sure he's a believer quite yet, but it's hard to deny an angel flapping their metaphorical (or literal?) wings in their face.]

But I'll get there. And that's not your fault either.

[enate]

I know.

( And there's no timeline for it. )

And - you know you don't have to, right? This is Ben. And me. And the me part of things, I decide on. I remember him. He did save Ben and the other kids. And he was there for us. But if I'm honest, we were there for him. He wasn't all there for us. And when his brother resurfaced - everything changed. I saw it. And maybe I didn't ... include Ben in that, I was also trying to protect him, I never thought Dean would go and -- yank it all away.

[nextproject]

Hey, whoa. I'm pretty sure when I said for better or worse, that included surprise ex-boyfriends with angels on retainer.

[There were no qualifiers. For better or worse is for better or worse.]

Unless you're rethinking things with this new information and that's something we can talk about. But I think you should take some time to process things before we make any rash decisions.

[enate]

Rudy.

( She wraps her arms around his waist. )

I'm not rethinking anything. I wouldn't. You have brought a stability I have needed for longer than you or I will ever admit. ( seriously, don't admit it. ) For me and for Ben. ( And that's meant everything. ) And, as much as I wanted to see where your head is at, I... am worried about Ben. And, I owe Dean his own conversation. And, I don't think Thanksgiving weekend is supposed to be this emotionally draining. Or is it? I've never had a big family.

[nextproject]

For some families it is.

[He rubs her arms gently.]

I know Ben's feelings are a big part of this, but I don't want to lose sight of the fact that he's not the only one affected. So what kind of conversation do you need this to be? You could give him a call or we could have him and Elena over for dinner, just the four of us?

[enate]

( She sighs again. )

I don't know. Honestly, a part of me just has to talk to him alone? He deserves an explanation. ( she shakes her head. ) But at this point, I'm not sure I trust my own judgment.

[nextproject]

Trust your own judgement how?

[He wants to see where her head is at, and that will impact his answer. And while he's not sure he wants her to be alone with Dean just yet, he also knows that this is a conversation that could require delicacy and privacy.]

[enate]

I don't know. I - know what's best for Ben. Or, I did. Raising him. I - lied. I told Dean there was no way Ben was his. But, I didn't actually know, I just - hoped. And, then he came back into our lives and I... I just let him back in. And here was are twenty years later.

( Should she even be in charge of what happens next? )

My old instincts say to confront him. Alone. But, you're a part of our lives now. One of the biggest parts. And you're involved. Directly. But, I don't know the best next step.

[nextproject]

Dean seems like he was in an unstable place. I don't blame you for doing what you had to do to protect Ben. But Dean's feelings are going to be more complicated.

[As they should be.]

Look, I don't feel good about you going to have this conversation completely alone, but ultimately it's your call. I'll back your play, no matter what.

[enate]

He's not a threat, he's just -- reeling.

( She lets go and steps back. )

But, I agree. I'm sure my campaign manager would love an unsanctioned conversation with a fugitive. ( her lives really do collide. ) And do I do anything until Ben comes around. If he comes around. ( she moves over to her phone. ) Maybe there's somewhere by the hotel. We meet on neutral ground. The four of us.

[nextproject]

I think Ben's journey is his own, and it's always going to be important but you and Dean ground that needs clearing. The sooner you both do that, the easier it will be to help Ben figure things out.

[He nods.]

I think that sounds like a great idea. You want to make the call, or me?

[enate]

( He's almost always right. But, in this case. He is. )

You can. Honestly, part of me just wants to take a nap. Tell me I wasn't always this old.

[nextproject]

You do that. I'll make the plans.

[And hopefully by the time they get through tonight they'll be able to at least clear some of the air.]

[enate]

Okay. You know where I'll be.

( And if plans are made and then he wants to join her in bed, he's more than welcome. )