( Lucifer is dead like God is dead? Chuck? Is he sure? She holds all her questions back as she searches his eyes for clarity. And yes, keeps an open mind. She's trying! )
[He takes a deep breath, because it feels like digging up things from far too long ago, but he did open the door by opening his stupid mouth. Digging back through his trauma isn't something that comes easily to him. He would much rather keep pushing forward and bury it.
But he told her he'd answer if she asked, so it's just a matter of trying to find a way to make it simpler and not like pulling out splinters.]
So I told you about Ruby, right? Part of her job was to get me to break the seals to set Lucifer free. It also was to basically prime me for being his vessel. With angels, it's a bloodline thing. The Campbell line, Mary's line, carried the bloodline for Lucifer while the Winchester line carried Michael.
Once Lucifer was out, he got some other guy to say yes, but I was the prom dress, the real vessel. The one that wouldn't fall apart over time. And as things got more and more complicated we realized that there weren't a lot of options - angels and demons on both side were pushing both me and Dean to say yes so that Michael and Lucifer could have their world-ending knock-down drag out.
( She needs to step up when she tells him she can handle something. So she holds the coffee in hand, hut keeps all her attention on Sam. )
So, you said yes.
( She knows this is only half the story. It didn't last. Sam is sitting her in front of her, not possessed by Lucifer. Something went right. She knows Mary wasn't alive, neither was their father. It's a lot to hold up, a legacy neither Dean nor Sam asked for. )
We had a plan. Dean was going to stay out, and I was going to get in there and ... find a way to hold Lucifer down. Regain control and give us an opportunity to win.
[He takes a deep breath before nodding.]
It took a little longer than I wanted it to. He still did a lot of damage while he was wearing me. But in the end, I managed to take the reins and ... pull both him and Michael back into Hell. More specifically, into the cage that Michael had put him in when he first fell.
I got out first. Cas pulled me out - or he tried, anyway.
[It's hard to say he succeeded when he left a crucial part of him behind.]
He got my body out but he left my soul behind. So I was running around soulless for a while, and that's when I kind of fucked things up with Dean and Lisa and Ben.
[Not all his fault, necessarily. But he certainly didn't help.]
( Dean, Lisa, and Ben. Dean reunited with them, then, it sounds like. She should say more to Castiel - but everything he represents feels over her head. She has her feet planted solidly on the ground. She knows she can't avoid him forever, and that he's like family to them.
She's afraid if she starts talking to him, she won't stop her questions. )
When you don't have a soul, you don't ... care. Like you understand what your relationships to other people are, but you don't feel them. All you really care about are your basic needs - food, water, sex - but you have no impulse control. Dean got kidnapped by fairies and I didn't have any leads so I wound up just hooking up with some witness that I ran into instead of focusing on the job and trying to find him. I would just speak whatever came to mind with no awareness of how it hurt other people's feelings. I waited a year before I even bothered to let Dean know I was alive.
[None of it was his finest moment.]
But when I did, I just ... hit them like a wrecking ball. Dean had built a life, you know? And I didn't care about any of that. I just needed him to finish this job. And Dean was rightfully upset with me because I was acting like an asshole, and he felt like he had to rein me in and make me behave like a normal human which pulled him back onto the road more and that didn't sit well with Lisa, because it meant she couldn't really rely on him anymore.
Eventually I did get my soul back, but it was too late. Demons had already caught on that they were important to Dean so they started targeting them. They got attacked and it was really bad. Like ... Lisa almost died, her new boyfriend did die. Cas was able to heal her, but Dean had hit the end of his rope. So after we took care of the demons, he had Cas erase their memories of him.
( With nothing to do but be a good listener, she sips from her coffee as she listens. )
Like when Elena's kind of vampires turn off their humanity. ( That's how she equates it, anyway, though she suspects vampires with no humanity are more dangerous. )
He - to keep them safe. And then he left, didn't he.
No. Ben took a DNA test and got a hit that tied him back to us.
[He doesn't get into too much more detail than that because talking about Adam is a whole other can of worms that he doesn't want to get into right now.]
Cas took their memories, but they didn't take anything else. Ben must have found the number in his phone or something and they called one of Dean's old phones.
It's a fucked up choice but it's probably one of the better ones we felt we had to make at the time.
[Not a great one, he's not defending it. And Ben and Lisa very much have the right to be angry. But of all the things they did, that's probably on the lower scale.]
But I don't see Ben forgiving him easily either. He loved Dean a lot, and he was only twelve at the time.
And the devil isn't after your body, anymore? And Castiel is your family, so I assume Heaven isn't either?
( More and more questions keep coming up, so she presses. )
I wasn't planning on asking, but now, I feel like I have to. Chuck. God. And, Heaven were all fixated on you and Dean? Because you were the vessels for Michael and for Lucifer?
And yeah, that's basically the gist of it. Chuck was writing and rewriting our lives over and over again, only really settling for the stories where it's brother against brother and Dean and I have to kill each other. But he's gone too.
( She just wants to know if there's a chance this could ever be a thing again. Maybe he and his brother escaped Chuck's machinations, but what kind of tell did it take on them? )
So, you're free. For real. And us, and Tamara Monroe, the Inner Circle, the Gauntlet - none of that is Chuck's doing. It's just people.
Yeah. Ever since he's been gone, every choice I've made has been mine. And I know it's mine.
[It feels like he actually the life of his own that he always wanted, even if it's not how he thought it would look when he was a teenager. It feels the way he thought it would, though. Like he could do anything he wanted and no one could stop him.]
Jack's the one looking over things now, and he's committed to not interfering if he doesn't have to. Probably because he wants to do things like graduate high school and have friends.
( That does settle her nerves. She doesn't know about Eileen, or how at one time she didn't know if they were real. Or not. Allison does wonder about her life, Scott's, Buffy's - but it sounds like Chuck concentrated on Sam and his brother. Maybe other people had all their own decisions to make. All of the rest of humanity... )
Yeah. We don't advertise it because most of the time he just wants to be a kid. But someone had to take Chuck's place, and he's the one who had the power to do it.
[Sam does regret putting all of that on Jack. He would have taken it if he could have. Jack deserves to have his own life, but at least he's getting some of it now.]
( She can absorb that, it might take her some time. But, they seem to have rounded back to God. )
I can't imagine what it must've been like, to live your life, to be targeted by Heaven and Hell. It sounds like you and Dean were boxed in, constantly, based on the constraints this "Chuck," wanted you fighting under. I'm almost sorry I dragged you and your brother into everything in the first place, I feel like you keep getting forced into this Inner Circle... ( She sighs. ) It's been so long, I don't even know how we're all in it now.
That's actually on us. David offered us a favor, and we took it.
[Allison had nothing to do with it. But all the same he pushes up from the car and moves to stand in front of her, one hand lingering on her waist as he meets her gaze.]
And if you hadn't looped us in, we probably wouldn't be us and I wouldn't trade that.
I remember that, but that brought us closer together, not bodies. Not initially.
( His point is made, though, Allison smiles. )
I wouldn't, either. Believe it or not, it had been a few years. ( Her hand slides up his arm. ) Speaking of, I don't know about you, but I feel like my sabbatical away has reached its' end. Any thoughts about that?
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everyonelives2025-07-26 07:05 pm
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( Lucifer is dead like God is dead? Chuck? Is he sure? She holds all her questions back as she searches his eyes for clarity. And yes, keeps an open mind. She's trying! )
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But he told her he'd answer if she asked, so it's just a matter of trying to find a way to make it simpler and not like pulling out splinters.]
So I told you about Ruby, right? Part of her job was to get me to break the seals to set Lucifer free. It also was to basically prime me for being his vessel. With angels, it's a bloodline thing. The Campbell line, Mary's line, carried the bloodline for Lucifer while the Winchester line carried Michael.
Once Lucifer was out, he got some other guy to say yes, but I was the prom dress, the real vessel. The one that wouldn't fall apart over time. And as things got more and more complicated we realized that there weren't a lot of options - angels and demons on both side were pushing both me and Dean to say yes so that Michael and Lucifer could have their world-ending knock-down drag out.
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So, you said yes.
( She knows this is only half the story. It didn't last. Sam is sitting her in front of her, not possessed by Lucifer. Something went right. She knows Mary wasn't alive, neither was their father. It's a lot to hold up, a legacy neither Dean nor Sam asked for. )
He wore you like a prom dress.
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[He takes a deep breath before nodding.]
It took a little longer than I wanted it to. He still did a lot of damage while he was wearing me. But in the end, I managed to take the reins and ... pull both him and Michael back into Hell. More specifically, into the cage that Michael had put him in when he first fell.
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( There was no big war between the brothers. Sam sacrificed himself. Ended up inside the cage in Hell. )
And you're sitting here, so, he got out.
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[It's hard to say he succeeded when he left a crucial part of him behind.]
He got my body out but he left my soul behind. So I was running around soulless for a while, and that's when I kind of fucked things up with Dean and Lisa and Ben.
[Not all his fault, necessarily. But he certainly didn't help.]
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( Dean, Lisa, and Ben. Dean reunited with them, then, it sounds like. She should say more to Castiel - but everything he represents feels over her head. She has her feet planted solidly on the ground. She knows she can't avoid him forever, and that he's like family to them.
She's afraid if she starts talking to him, she won't stop her questions. )
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[None of it was his finest moment.]
But when I did, I just ... hit them like a wrecking ball. Dean had built a life, you know? And I didn't care about any of that. I just needed him to finish this job. And Dean was rightfully upset with me because I was acting like an asshole, and he felt like he had to rein me in and make me behave like a normal human which pulled him back onto the road more and that didn't sit well with Lisa, because it meant she couldn't really rely on him anymore.
Eventually I did get my soul back, but it was too late. Demons had already caught on that they were important to Dean so they started targeting them. They got attacked and it was really bad. Like ... Lisa almost died, her new boyfriend did die. Cas was able to heal her, but Dean had hit the end of his rope. So after we took care of the demons, he had Cas erase their memories of him.
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Like when Elena's kind of vampires turn off their humanity. ( That's how she equates it, anyway, though she suspects vampires with no humanity are more dangerous. )
He - to keep them safe. And then he left, didn't he.
( She looks away, out the window, then back. )
Did someone target them again?
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No. Ben took a DNA test and got a hit that tied him back to us.
[He doesn't get into too much more detail than that because talking about Adam is a whole other can of worms that he doesn't want to get into right now.]
Cas took their memories, but they didn't take anything else. Ben must have found the number in his phone or something and they called one of Dean's old phones.
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Oh god.
( Hm. )
No wonder Dean is staying.
( She pauses. )
He erased his son's memories of him. And his mother's. That's - I can't imagine... I don't know what I'd do in his shoes.
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[Not a great one, he's not defending it. And Ben and Lisa very much have the right to be angry. But of all the things they did, that's probably on the lower scale.]
But I don't see Ben forgiving him easily either. He loved Dean a lot, and he was only twelve at the time.
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( Ben has a lot to forgive, if he gets there. )
You and Dean have been making hard choices all your lives. I wish things were easier for you. For the both of you.
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It's getting there. We have way more friends than we used to. Things are a lot more stable too.
[Allison has definitely been a part of that.]
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( More and more questions keep coming up, so she presses. )
I wasn't planning on asking, but now, I feel like I have to. Chuck. God. And, Heaven were all fixated on you and Dean? Because you were the vessels for Michael and for Lucifer?
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[Thanks for that, Michael.]
And yeah, that's basically the gist of it. Chuck was writing and rewriting our lives over and over again, only really settling for the stories where it's brother against brother and Dean and I have to kill each other. But he's gone too.
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( She just wants to know if there's a chance this could ever be a thing again. Maybe he and his brother escaped Chuck's machinations, but what kind of tell did it take on them? )
So, you're free. For real. And us, and Tamara Monroe, the Inner Circle, the Gauntlet - none of that is Chuck's doing. It's just people.
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[It feels like he actually the life of his own that he always wanted, even if it's not how he thought it would look when he was a teenager. It feels the way he thought it would, though. Like he could do anything he wanted and no one could stop him.]
Jack's the one looking over things now, and he's committed to not interfering if he doesn't have to. Probably because he wants to do things like graduate high school and have friends.
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Jack? Your Jack? Jack, Jack? Is...
( God? )
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[Sam does regret putting all of that on Jack. He would have taken it if he could have. Jack deserves to have his own life, but at least he's getting some of it now.]
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( She knows it started as going undercover. But, he's only - so old. Learning everything from scratch. )
So, when he's not growing up, he knows all the secrets to the universe?
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[Sam finishes off his coffee and leans back against the car.]
He's a good kid. The secrets of the universe are in good hands.
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( She can absorb that, it might take her some time. But, they seem to have rounded back to God. )
I can't imagine what it must've been like, to live your life, to be targeted by Heaven and Hell. It sounds like you and Dean were boxed in, constantly, based on the constraints this "Chuck," wanted you fighting under. I'm almost sorry I dragged you and your brother into everything in the first place, I feel like you keep getting forced into this Inner Circle... ( She sighs. ) It's been so long, I don't even know how we're all in it now.
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[Allison had nothing to do with it. But all the same he pushes up from the car and moves to stand in front of her, one hand lingering on her waist as he meets her gaze.]
And if you hadn't looped us in, we probably wouldn't be us and I wouldn't trade that.
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( His point is made, though, Allison smiles. )
I wouldn't, either. Believe it or not, it had been a few years. ( Her hand slides up his arm. ) Speaking of, I don't know about you, but I feel like my sabbatical away has reached its' end. Any thoughts about that?
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