Normally, I have it under control. I haven't gone that dark in a long time. But, it does happen. ( He looks down at his hands holding the bag, two of the handles meeting in the middle inside his closed fist. ) I think I've always had it in me. This never-ending pit of darkness. And, it manifests in different ways. A creeping, always there depression which you haven't really seen outside of my monumentally stupid decision to get used by the Great South. But, sometimes, it gets real bad. Like when my sister's in danger. Or, when our mom left. Our dad died. It's the big things that trigger me.
Those sound like really reasonable things to be depressed or worried about.
[They're just saying. They're big life changes that aren't always good.]
If we're heading back together, and this happens again, what can I do to help? You and Kieran have that whole sibling ESP and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but if she's not around to help, I want to be able to.
Just talk to me. A voice drowns out the despair. It fights through the echo chamber. ( Like a vacuum. ) More if I care about someone. ( He takes their hand. ) If they care about me. If we have a connection.
Thanks. I talked to enough shrinks when we were kids. And counselors. And people who believed they knew best. That I could color my way through it, or visit a rage room, or journal. People tried.
( Kind of. They made some effort. )
Kieran's always balanced me. Been forever since I let anyone else try to hold their side up. I don't - lean well.
[Especially when he's likely the one used to being leaned on. With his mom gone, he likely probably had to take up the caretaker role for his father until he passed, and now Kieran is sick too.]
But I'm here if you want to try. Just let me know.
( Julian follows, expecting "Mickey," and that's going to be weird for a while, so once he learns Crash will find another pretty boy, well, he'll stop having a complex about that. She's still in Mickey's clothing, but her features are more delicate. She's shorter in her favorite form. Nobody remembers their original form. Maybe they never had one.
She's sat on the edge of the desk, legs dangling. Her clothing is oversized and she's going to insist on rectifying this first thing tomorrow morning. She knows there will be things and promises and protocols and probably ultimatums. But, it beats being dead.
She looks up from her phone. Yeah, Julian, this is Vita. )
Just need to do one more thing.
( She powers down the phone in her hand, grabs a heavy paperweight and smashes it. (i rolled for shits and giggles, nat 20 smashes it well and good.) she hops off the desk. )
Now I'm ready.
( And, infuriatingly, when they get back to the car. She calls shotgun like the little sister she is. Unless she has a chauffeur, she prefers the front. )
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somanyadjectives) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
everyonelives2025-07-26 07:05 pm
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[Crash steps back to start changing into something more Delilah appropriate.]
I worry, though. What Kieran said, about things getting dicey if you get too flexible?
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[They're just saying. They're big life changes that aren't always good.]
If we're heading back together, and this happens again, what can I do to help? You and Kieran have that whole sibling ESP and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but if she's not around to help, I want to be able to.
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Fortunately, talking is something I'm very good at, so that I can do.
[Then the smile slips to something more somber.]
But also, if you have something heavy you want to talk about, I can handle that too. You don't have to carry it all by yourself.
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( Kind of. They made some effort. )
Kieran's always balanced me. Been forever since I let anyone else try to hold their side up. I don't - lean well.
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[Especially when he's likely the one used to being leaned on. With his mom gone, he likely probably had to take up the caretaker role for his father until he passed, and now Kieran is sick too.]
But I'm here if you want to try. Just let me know.
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( He'll really try and curb it. )
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[They will keep that in mind. And with that, they will gather their things and head back out to where their sister is waiting.]
Ready to hit the road, V?
i don't know what that grammar or spelling was, also 🎀
She's sat on the edge of the desk, legs dangling. Her clothing is oversized and she's going to insist on rectifying this first thing tomorrow morning. She knows there will be things and promises and protocols and probably ultimatums. But, it beats being dead.
She looks up from her phone. Yeah, Julian, this is Vita. )
Just need to do one more thing.
( She powers down the phone in her hand, grabs a heavy paperweight and smashes it. (i rolled for shits and giggles, nat 20 smashes it well and good.) she hops off the desk. )
Now I'm ready.
( And, infuriatingly, when they get back to the car. She calls shotgun like the little sister she is. Unless she has a chauffeur, she prefers the front. )