for the rest of us death will be a relief

[praevaricatio]

Comments

[happiness_elude]

Well, I'm supposed to be building a higher tolerance.

[There's a bit of wryness to it, but she bites back the full sarcasm. She's trying to be better and not just outright reject everything that happens. And Jeremy sounds so tired.]

You sound exhausted. We could talk about this in the morning.

[She's not using that to dodge, she's just being his mom.]

[barely]

See, I said that, but, Caroline kind of insisted and I also... agree. Cause you're gonna want to hear this. But, something is happening, like I said. There are people who are appearing places. And some of those people were dead. Or missing. But, all of them are connected to us? Everyone we know. And, mom, one of them is aunt Jenna. She's in California and she wants to talk to you.

( He just has to rip the bandaid off, like everyone else would. Yes, he's tired. Yes, it's... not really late. But that means it's even earlier in Beacon Hills. )

[happiness_elude]

[There's a moment of stunned silence after he says it, like it's something else she doesn't quite know how to process. She, unfortunately, is intimately familiar with coming back from the dead. And there's a part of her that aches to talk to Jenna. But there's something else in Jeremy's voice.

Like she's being handled. She's not angry, because she knows she's earned it, but she needs the other shoe to drop.]

Okay. I can do that. Is there something else I should know?

[barely]

She's from Klaus' ritual. From after. Or, during. I don't know the specifics.

( Only that there's a v-word he's not saying. )

So, she's a vampire. Except, in her case, she's barely been a vampire, so emotions are going to be really important. Hers and yours.

[happiness_elude]

[Something Caroline said had stuck with her, even if she didn't acknowledge it at the time: Liz loved her more than she hated vampires.

Miranda didn't know if there was such a feeling. If her experiences with vampires, who only seemed to cause pain and heartache, could be overwhelmed by love. Miranda has spent so much of her life seeing this as the only option, and she's still trying to recover her equilibrium.

There are few things that she thinks she'd love enough. Elena, Jeremy, maybe. And then there's her sister.

Miranda was eight when Jenna was born. She spent a lot of her teen years taking care of her while her parents worked. Even when Jenna fled town to escape Logan Fell, they spoke every day.

She doesn't know how she feels about Jenna being a vampire. That's something she'll have to unpack another time. But she can hear what Jeremy is trying to ask her, what is needed, and she knows she has to try. If for nothing else, just the urge to hear her sister's voice again.]

So stay calm so she stays calm? That's what you need?

[barely]

( He's ready to defend her more, that it would still make Jenna, Jenna. That he never gave Jenna a fair shake as a real guardian. He didn't even give Alaric a good shake at being guardian before being sent out of town. He was a kid, yeah, but he failed at being under anyone. But, she gets it, even through the prolonged silence. )

That's what Jenna needs.

( And, Caroline. Kind of. )

[happiness_elude]

I can try.

[She won't promise she'll be perfect or guarantee something she can't give. She and Jenna squabbled like crazy when they were children. But she does want to talk to her sister, and she can at least not bring up vampire things so if they do squabble, it won't be about that.]

Do you have her number?

[barely]

Yeah, yeah, I'm sending it over now. I'm also real tired, but, if you want to call me back after. I'll answer. If you need me. For anything. Love you.

( And he sends her the number passed from Stiles to Caroline to him. )

[happiness_elude]

Love you too. Go to sleep.

[She will not call if anything goes wrong, but she send him a text with an update and they can talk about it tomorrow. She'll then hang up and pull up he number in the text message. She takes a deep breath, before making the call, placing the phone to her ear as she waits for her sister to answer.]

[unpreparedness]

( She doesn't know if the person on the other end is going to be her sister. The sheriff is off duty, so she's been told anything official is going straight to Deputy Parrish. This means this should be her. Or, Elena. Or, someone else. She's heard a lot of names today. She owes an apology to Caroline.

She takes a big gulp from her mug of whiskey before answering. )

Hello?

( Her throat is a little dryer, so she clears it. )

Hello? Beacon Hills Sheriff's something?

[happiness_elude]

[She wonders, idly, where Beacon Hills is. How far away Jenna is from where she is in Kansas. Maybe she should have asked Jeremy that before she let him go. But the rest of her brain is shortcut with the fact that it's her sister's voice. And she thought she was never going to hear it again.]

Jenna?

[She probably should say more, but for the moment that's all she gets out.]

[unpreparedness]

( She was expecting this call, so why does it hit so hard. )

Yeah, hall monitor. It's me. I'm in California and being sequestered away from the werefamily drama. I'm impressed, though, not one of the werewolves I've met even comes close to having Tyler Lockwood's temper. ( it's natural for her to just go on. ) Sorry, I just - I also recently, my recently, just learned about all this. I got the crash course and then got lured out into the front yard like a chump. Basically. Just saying, I'm also still new at this and I love you. And I tried really hard to be there for Elena and Jeremy and the boys and the girls and the teenage stuff that I was cursed with because now I understand what it was like to raise me... and I just feel like I failed. I failed your kids and that was the one thing I promised you and...

[happiness_elude]

You didn't fail them, Jenna.

[She can't let her think that. Can't let her assume that is the thought she's been having about her sister over the months that she's been sitting, stewing in this bunker.]

You didn't ... you did the best you could. And they're here and alive so far be it from me to see that as anything other than a success.

[unpreparedness]

Normally, I'd ask you to let me feel my feelings, but I'm remembering they're all over the place, so let's step away from the parental figure guilt. ( Focus on facts and questions. ) How are you back?

[happiness_elude]

It's a long ...

[Well, she's supposed to be a distraction, isn't she? If not the time for long stories now, then when?

Alright, time to go back to the beginning:]

Do you remember Dean Winchester?

[unpreparedness]

That kid who had a thing for Elena? Their dad left them with you and Grayson.

( She remembers. She... can't for the death of her figure out where this is going, which actually makes it tittilating. )

[happiness_elude]

Right, well, he and Elena are together now. And she was helping them with a project that triggered some kind of spell and it brought me and Grayson back to life. It was a failsafe, so that a witch they were hunting would have some bodies to jump into to prolong their life.

But she was handled, and because she was handled a certain way, Grayson and I got to stay.

[Does that make any sense? She doesn't really think so but it's also the truth.]

[unpreparedness]

( It makes more sense than she thinks. Not, that she has experience in any of it. Only the very long story Alaric and Elena told her and Stefan all told her at various points. Damon was snarkier, but he made the crazy sound fun, at least. )

Elena's boyfriend was working on a witch-hunting project that brought you two back to life. ( Well, at least she's being told. ) How are you taking that? Got any good tips for someone crawling their way back to relevance?

[happiness_elude]

Honestly, I'm not sure I have any. I'm saying the wrong things and I've been stuck in a bunker for the past month with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

[She's not having a great time.]

Elena and I keep fighting. I'm ... it's hard. Especially after so long. When I left she was still a child and still needed me and now she's well into adulthood and a doctor and has this whole life that I don't fit in anymore, because she had to grow without me.

[unpreparedness]

...Like a bomb shelter?

( Why is her sister in a bunker? )

She needs you, just in a different way. You'll relearn each other. When... you're out of that bunker.

[happiness_elude]

Dean and his brother have a bunker. They inherited it? I think? Elena's living there now.

[A beat.]

It's actually rather comfortable for a bunker, it's just oppressive when you can't really go anywhere else. But that's what I'm hoping. I think we both need some space.

[But venting her problems was not the point of this phone call.]

How are you doing?

[unpreparedness]

I think anywhere you couldn't leave would become oppressive. There were a few weekends I kept myself on lockdown on campus.

( but her sister isn't keeping herself there. what's keeping here there? )

Not being dead agrees with me? ( Is that fair? ) I'm alive. Sort of. Still sorting through it all and blatantly not asking questions about what life is like in 2040-something, if that even is the year. I'm okay. The last thing I remember is ... not something I'll ever forget, but, I'm here now. In California.

[happiness_elude]

Elena told me what happened.

[Not the same as being there, obviously, but she knows. Jenna doesn't have to tell her - not that she was probably going to.]

She'll be really happy to see you. I think she carries a lot of guilt about it.

[unpreparedness]

I don't blame Elena, and if she needs me to say that to her face, I will. ( She closes her eyes, reliving the ring of fire. Of Elena talking her through vampire fundamentals. Doing the damage she could before her life ended. ) That was all Klaus.

[happiness_elude]

Caroline says that she puts a lot on herself she doesn't have to.

[And it's something Miranda wishes she could make easier, but again, they're not communicating at their best right now.]

But she was prone to that before her life became full of vampires and death.