everyonelives | for the rest of us death will be a relief

You remember when Stefan killed Enzo?

Yep. Bonnie vervained him, he went to the Armory, the Armory lost him, Lindsay arrested him and he dried out in a cell while we were all dealing with Donovan problems.

Bonnie CURED him, he CURED me. Well, Bonnie stabbed him with a syringe of Elena's blood. Probably the less you know about the Stefan side of things, the better. Also, Katherine returned. (Dead).

Herego, human me and human Elena had two human kids named after her dad and my brother.

Well that is very Elena. And she does have a ton of people to name children after.

[Somehow that doesn't surprise her. Speaking of Enzo though ...]

Did Bonnie or Melanie tell you about Enzo?

Yeah, I'm sure she's Stephanie Miranda or Stephanie Jenna or Stephanie... who knows who could also be dead there.

Enzo in which world?

This one. As in currently being maneuvered onto a plane to Mystic Falls from Star City with Bonnie's Grams.

[She probably should have let Bonnie tell him, but she considers that maybe she's softening her own news.]

Really. OK. Add him to the list, then.

She's got Isaac, so I'm guessing this isn't a Sophie's Choice situation?

Not as far as I'm aware. I think Isaac is sticking around for good. Or at least for a while.

[A beat.]

Also, Mom says hi.

I say hi right back.

How you doing with everything?

Still trying to dig myself out of the trenches of "I'm everyone's worst friend" because between Bonnie with Kai and being a little overprotective with baby vamp Jenna I haven't exactly been putting my best foot forward.

But also my mom's back, and that really doesn't suck so. I'm figuring it out and will do an apology tour later.

You know nobody on your apology tour expects an apology on this your. Everyone has this to deal with to. They understand.

I canNOT believe Kai is back on the tip of all of our tongues. He was so last decade.

Hopefully Stefan will come back with good news, like there's an easy magic button somewhere to merge him back into Jo and that'll be that.

[If he crashes Christmas, someone will die.]

Yeah, right. Siphons and Gemini just... merge and unmerge and protect themselves. So. Let's hope.

If he doesn't go away quickly and cleanly one of us is going to kill him so really it's in his own best interests.

[If it's not Stefan it might be Bonnie and if it's not Bonnie it may be Isaac and if it's not Isaac, it may be Damon, if Kai decides to stick his nosy face anywhere near the new Salvatores on the block.

Caroline knows how this works.]

Say it louder for the people in the back. I'm sure Ric will report in when he has more answers. Or, Stefan.

You coming back to Mystic Falls for the most suddenly packed Christmas? You could meet my kids.

Not for Christmas Christmas. I want to try and still make good on my promise to spend the holidays with Ryan's family. But I'll be back for New Year's - maybe a little sooner.

[She's not sure how long Chrismukkah celebrations usually go for, but Ryan's family and relationships are important.]

I do want to meet them though. So hopefully!

Stephanie's a sulky teenage girl and Gray is inquisitive. Smart. It's like Elena and me made two more us's.

That's usually how it works.

[Parents make kids that turn out like them one way or another.]

They sound like great kids, Damon. I can't wait to meet them.

[And she is sincere about that, and not just because they're Elena's kids too. Though she and Damon have had their issues, they're better than they used to be.]

for the rest of us death will be a relief

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this time i skipped damon and caroline, whoops.

whoops.

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