I've never loved Buffy's taste in men. Three separate vampires. And, I didn't like her latest. I got judgy - which meant Buffy, Willow, and me all rehashed high school with Angel all over again. And it came out. And things were said. And those things weren't nice. On all sides. But, instead of coming around, any of us, Buffy and Willow made the unilateral decision and relocated me. Buffy couldn't look at me. Willow never realized just how selfish and judgy I've always been. Cheese stands alone.
( That's how it works. )
I did like Riley, her college boyfriend. Had a bit of a mancrush at the time. But, Angel, Spike, Stefan... I didn't get it. And I still don't.
[Which he knows can be difficult when it comes to a dear friend. He's certain many people felt the same way about Simon and his wife.
... Maybe this is also not the best example as Simon's marriage is not a sparkling example of the institution, but this isn't about Simon, this is about Xander.]
It all sounds very complicated, and I'm sure I'm missing context, but ... it's interesting that this Riley is the only one you found suitable. Is he also he only one that was human?
He was, not including some one-timers in high school.
( He rolled his eyes at everyone who liked Buffy, but that was because of his unrequited thing, something he's convinced he's done with. He knows she'll never love him like that. And she said as much before he left their lives. )
It's not like I did better. Praying mantis substitute teacher, Inca mummy girl, Cordelia Chase - and if you knew her, you'd think she was a demon, too. And then Anya. Anya was it. For a long time. My experience with vengeance? Is her. Because, she was a former vengeance demon two times over. She lost her powers the first time and had them stripped the second. That... wasn't a great time. And I left her at the altar, so you can bet why she got her powers back.
[He can't say he blames Anya for choosing vengeance in that case. If someone had left him at the altar, he would have been upset too. But there had to have been a reason. Someone doesn't go through all of the hardwork of proposing not to walk down the aisle.]
Someone she'd cursed found me beforehand and fed me false visions about our future together. I didn't want to become my father. I'd seen too much and - and I had had my own doubts about my viability, at my... being able to provide. Take care of her. By the time she found me to tell me the visions were all fake, I had made up my mind.
( And made himself and everyone else miserable in the process. )
She got me back by also sleeping with Spike which was... super fun to stumble on to watching. ( And then learning that Buffy was with Spike, too... ) That was a dark year.
Better to realize you're not making the right decision before the altar than after. Once you are wed, that's not something that is easily taken back. Though I can't say I blame her for being angry.
I didn't. And, I had been having doubts for months. I just thought if we got past the wedding, maybe everything would work out.
( But, that wasn't just it. He's done other bad things, things rehashed by his best friends. Calling Sweet. His treatment of Anya. Shaming of Buffy and Anya. )
Anyway, I clearly don't make great decisions. That, and the eyepatch. The humble Sunnydale beginnings... Maybe I don't have good parts.
( Lovable parts. )
Like, if you weren't my captive audience, would anyone care?
[Simon takes a deep breath before turning to face him more, folding his hands in front of him.]
Something I've learned in my very long life is that everything we do is a choice. It's not a matter of good parts and bad parts, there is no inherent goodness or evil. There is only the choices we make.
[He glances up at Xander.]
I have made my fair share of terrible choices. I have hurt people in ways that I will not be able to make right. But I ... well, before my current predicament, at least - I was trying to make better choices. It shouldn't matter if I care or anyone else cares. What matters is if you care.
It's your life, Xander. Is this what you want it to be?
For many years, I worked for a woman who put her own machinations before everything else. She used me to work terrible deeds for her, as I had essentially sold myself to her in the interest of finding my daughter who had gone missing.
[He pauses. He does wish he had a glass of wine for this conversation.]
I started to pull away from her, after her promises failed to bear fruit after over a century of waiting, and she did not take well to that. So she put me where she could always find me.
Well, I was passed around some among her other minions, so that I could continue to be of use. Then my daughters managed to recover me very briefly. After that ... it all becomes hazy. Being passed from one hand to another, until you.
[He pauses with a small shrug.]
This is possibly the longest the orb has been with one person.
Yuch. Put to use. Your fine print's all fine and nonconsenual-like.
( So, Xander will be doing the opposite. He has no vengeance to wreak. He loves Buffy and Willow and Dawn. And Giles isn't taking sides, as much as he is doing his job. )
Then, let's get down to the answer-getting. I... can place a call into a friend. She's big on research. She's not thrilled with me, but when I tie the big to do in a magic indenturing, she may actually bite.
( And, for the record, even though they left things chilly in Berkeley, he hopes that, maybe, she'll realize he's calling for a good reason. So, as he makes a big to do of "hanging up" on his first call, he dials Dawn's number. It's an hour earlier, so hopefully she's still book learning. )
[Dawn's phone rings while she's knee deep in her books and Jeremy is out picking up dinner. It's still new, this thing between them, but he likes bringing her dinner and she likes the distraction.
It's good that someone reminds her to come up from the books every once in a while.
She shifts through the pile of books to find the phone and when she sees Xander's name on the caller ID, she hesitates. And then she gets mad at herself for hesitating. Xander dug himself into his own hole, and they didn't part on the best of terms. But he's still Xander.
Which, in the end, is why she answers the phone.]
You have twenty minutes until my boyfriend comes back with dim sum. What can I do for you?
[She tries not to make it sound cold, but she also wants to make it clear that she is not here for pity-party Xander.]
Well, I want to point out, I am not trying to do the vengeance. ( This is not a call for retribution. ) Lucia called me down to a vampire nest. I have had in my possession a cursed orb complete with its very own guy inside that only I can see. He says he's there for vengeance purposes and if I don't take him up on it, he's just -- yaknow, around. And, I can confirm for the last month or so, he has been.
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And you're paying the price for it now?
[It seems as though it's a bit delayed, but Simon is aware that he's coming to this story in pieces.]
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( That's how it works. )
I did like Riley, her college boyfriend. Had a bit of a mancrush at the time. But, Angel, Spike, Stefan... I didn't get it. And I still don't.
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[Which he knows can be difficult when it comes to a dear friend. He's certain many people felt the same way about Simon and his wife.
... Maybe this is also not the best example as Simon's marriage is not a sparkling example of the institution, but this isn't about Simon, this is about Xander.]
It all sounds very complicated, and I'm sure I'm missing context, but ... it's interesting that this Riley is the only one you found suitable. Is he also he only one that was human?
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( He rolled his eyes at everyone who liked Buffy, but that was because of his unrequited thing, something he's convinced he's done with. He knows she'll never love him like that. And she said as much before he left their lives. )
It's not like I did better. Praying mantis substitute teacher, Inca mummy girl, Cordelia Chase - and if you knew her, you'd think she was a demon, too. And then Anya. Anya was it. For a long time. My experience with vengeance? Is her. Because, she was a former vengeance demon two times over. She lost her powers the first time and had them stripped the second. That... wasn't a great time. And I left her at the altar, so you can bet why she got her powers back.
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[He can't say he blames Anya for choosing vengeance in that case. If someone had left him at the altar, he would have been upset too. But there had to have been a reason. Someone doesn't go through all of the hardwork of proposing not to walk down the aisle.]
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( And made himself and everyone else miserable in the process. )
She got me back by also sleeping with Spike which was... super fun to stumble on to watching. ( And then learning that Buffy was with Spike, too... ) That was a dark year.
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Better to realize you're not making the right decision before the altar than after. Once you are wed, that's not something that is easily taken back. Though I can't say I blame her for being angry.
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( But, that wasn't just it. He's done other bad things, things rehashed by his best friends. Calling Sweet. His treatment of Anya. Shaming of Buffy and Anya. )
Anyway, I clearly don't make great decisions. That, and the eyepatch. The humble Sunnydale beginnings... Maybe I don't have good parts.
( Lovable parts. )
Like, if you weren't my captive audience, would anyone care?
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Something I've learned in my very long life is that everything we do is a choice. It's not a matter of good parts and bad parts, there is no inherent goodness or evil. There is only the choices we make.
[He glances up at Xander.]
I have made my fair share of terrible choices. I have hurt people in ways that I will not be able to make right. But I ... well, before my current predicament, at least - I was trying to make better choices. It shouldn't matter if I care or anyone else cares. What matters is if you care.
It's your life, Xander. Is this what you want it to be?
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Right now I don't have much choice unless I give up my post.
( And he refuses to. He's stubborn like that. He's still helping. Just in another corner of the fight. )
Coming from a guy who was cursed, himself. Usually, people curse for a reason.
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For many years, I worked for a woman who put her own machinations before everything else. She used me to work terrible deeds for her, as I had essentially sold myself to her in the interest of finding my daughter who had gone missing.
[He pauses. He does wish he had a glass of wine for this conversation.]
I started to pull away from her, after her promises failed to bear fruit after over a century of waiting, and she did not take well to that. So she put me where she could always find me.
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( Hm. )
How'd it end up in a vampire nest in Vegas?
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[He pauses with a small shrug.]
This is possibly the longest the orb has been with one person.
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( A beat. )
I mean physically. Nope, no I don't mean physically. You know what I mean.
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Essentially, yes. Once I've been put to use, the orb usually finds it's way to someone else through one means or another.
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( So, Xander will be doing the opposite. He has no vengeance to wreak. He loves Buffy and Willow and Dawn. And Giles isn't taking sides, as much as he is doing his job. )
Then, let's get down to the answer-getting. I... can place a call into a friend. She's big on research. She's not thrilled with me, but when I tie the big to do in a magic indenturing, she may actually bite.
( And, for the record, even though they left things chilly in Berkeley, he hopes that, maybe, she'll realize he's calling for a good reason. So, as he makes a big to do of "hanging up" on his first call, he dials Dawn's number. It's an hour earlier, so hopefully she's still book learning. )
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It's good that someone reminds her to come up from the books every once in a while.
She shifts through the pile of books to find the phone and when she sees Xander's name on the caller ID, she hesitates. And then she gets mad at herself for hesitating. Xander dug himself into his own hole, and they didn't part on the best of terms. But he's still Xander.
Which, in the end, is why she answers the phone.]
You have twenty minutes until my boyfriend comes back with dim sum. What can I do for you?
[She tries not to make it sound cold, but she also wants to make it clear that she is not here for pity-party Xander.]
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Hey, Dawnie. What do you know about cursed orbs, fae, and vengeance?
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[Not that she blames him, necessarily. Lots of people have no idea how broad those categories really are.]
Could you be a little more specific?
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[But that only covers two of those three original topics so:]
What does Faerie have to do with it? Since we've checked the box for cursed object and vengeance.