They have gotten very weird. And Elena is very intense about her people. I guess it's nice to be considered one of her people, even though we haven't known each other that long.
[Ben is aware that he's been lucky in the step-parent department. Rudy has always treated him like his own, and Elena took his sudden emergence as Dean's son like a champ. He figures the least he could do is show up for her birthday if invited.]
And I think it's good for Dean. That he sees that she sees me as part of things too.
For what it's worth, you being anybody's people. It's a no-brainer. She's lucky she has you as a person. I can vouch, it's pretty great.
( To be his friend. )
Yeah, that guy really held an apology tour. It's good, you're finding your footing. Celebrating things. And thanks for including yours truly. Been a minute since I celebrated anything.
[It feels so casual, the way he says it, but it's really not. Even if things are weird or complicated, there's no version of reality where Ben doesn't want Dickerson around in some capacity.
Still, he keeps talking, softening the statement some.]
[Ben finishes his drink and pops one last fry in his mouth. Once their tab is settled, they make their way back to the motel room and Ben finds himself looking at the pair of beds in the room and asking, apropos of nothing:]
( They didn't talk about it when they dropped their stuff off. Before Dickerson made any kind of move, it wouldn't have mattered. And it shouldn't. Despite the beds being shoved together, Dickerson can keep his hands to himself. He respects his friend. It's been months since his missteps, anyway, and while it hasn't been the same, it hasn't been bad. He's not ruining the good thing like a road trip and a birthday not about him. )
We're good.
( They trade off getting ready for bed, using the bathroom, brushing their teeth, etc, so that by the time Dickerson lets Ben get settled, he's in sleep pants and a t-shirt. It may not be the best sleep he'll ever get, he just doesn't want to be presumptuous going shirtless or in boxers.
Maybe things might be different had he not done the dumb thing, but he can't change that now.
He lays on his back, testing the pillow, before saying goodnight and closing his eyes.
He doesn't know the time when he becomes aware again. Some time in the middle of the night. He can hear the air from the a/c unit. He can hear and feel Ben's breathing. He shifts, rolling from one side to the other facing Ben, eyes opening just because. )
[That isn't what he meant, but Dickerson moves right into getting ready for bed, so he lets it go. He changes into pajamas and brushes his teeth and gets into bed and ... doesn't sleep.
He can't. It's as though his brain is buzzing and none of this is good for the drive they have to make tomorrow but he can't shake the thoughts swirling in his mind.
He's still not sure he knows what he wants. Part of him is still worried about what happens if this crashes and burns the way so many things have in the past. But the parts of him that protest the change have slowly fallen away over the last few months.
He hears Dickerson shift next to him, and he doesn't look but does ask:]
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[Ben is aware that he's been lucky in the step-parent department. Rudy has always treated him like his own, and Elena took his sudden emergence as Dean's son like a champ. He figures the least he could do is show up for her birthday if invited.]
And I think it's good for Dean. That he sees that she sees me as part of things too.
no subject
( To be his friend. )
Yeah, that guy really held an apology tour. It's good, you're finding your footing. Celebrating things. And thanks for including yours truly. Been a minute since I celebrated anything.
no subject
[It feels so casual, the way he says it, but it's really not. Even if things are weird or complicated, there's no version of reality where Ben doesn't want Dickerson around in some capacity.
Still, he keeps talking, softening the statement some.]
No one I'd rather go on a road trip with.
no subject
( Road trip. Shoot the shit. Unpack years of childhood trauma. He'd do any and all of it with Ben. )
We should probably go and get some shut-eye.
no subject
[Ben finishes his drink and pops one last fry in his mouth. Once their tab is settled, they make their way back to the motel room and Ben finds himself looking at the pair of beds in the room and asking, apropos of nothing:]
Are we good, dude?
no subject
We're good.
( They trade off getting ready for bed, using the bathroom, brushing their teeth, etc, so that by the time Dickerson lets Ben get settled, he's in sleep pants and a t-shirt. It may not be the best sleep he'll ever get, he just doesn't want to be presumptuous going shirtless or in boxers.
Maybe things might be different had he not done the dumb thing, but he can't change that now.
He lays on his back, testing the pillow, before saying goodnight and closing his eyes.
He doesn't know the time when he becomes aware again. Some time in the middle of the night. He can hear the air from the a/c unit. He can hear and feel Ben's breathing. He shifts, rolling from one side to the other facing Ben, eyes opening just because. )
no subject
He can't. It's as though his brain is buzzing and none of this is good for the drive they have to make tomorrow but he can't shake the thoughts swirling in his mind.
He's still not sure he knows what he wants. Part of him is still worried about what happens if this crashes and burns the way so many things have in the past. But the parts of him that protest the change have slowly fallen away over the last few months.
He hears Dickerson shift next to him, and he doesn't look but does ask:]
You awake?