coming at you fast, midnight

[cosmiccon]

Comments

[kapiushon]

( Knowing the legacy William and Mia carry with them is something Oliver has to live with, something he's since reconciled because he is a different person. He is no longer the kid with his father's kill book. Nor is he the walking shadow of guilt he once became. But, where he is doesn't mean anything to where his son or daughter are within everything. All he wants to do is apologize, to take this pain away, to undo the line from him to his kids.

But, he and his kids are far from the same person. )

Mia.

( He pulls her in close, remembering how when she was younger all he wanted to do was protect her from everything, from hurt and broken hearts and yes, the legacy he's leaving behind.

He pulls back, looking her straight on. )

Mia, I am proud, every day, of the woman you've become. You carry our name with grace and with pride, and not once have you ever let what I became stop you. You or your brother. You're both more than I ever could've wanted. And if he can't see that you went through something, that you needed what you needed - I respected that space you needed. I respect your feelings. They are valid. Sometimes -- what we need hurts others.

[blackstarred]

[It shouldn't be comforting but it is. She doesn't like hurting people, but she knows if she had stayed with JJ and come home when she was supposed to, things would have only gotten worse.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head.]

I wish I didn't. But ... things just got so complicated.

[kapiushon]

They won't always be. Or, they will, and you'll have your support around you. Your brother, me, Laurel. Your friends. You will never be alone, Mia, no matter how geographically alone you make yourself.

( No matter how emotionally alone she feels. Does that help? )

[blackstarred]

[It does, a little. She offers him a small smile before nodding.]

Thanks, Dad.

[She knows part of the problem is that she is expecting a version of JJ that may not exist. She pauses, before looking back up at her father again.]

Can I ask you something? About when you were the Arrow?

[kapiushon]

You can ask me anything.

(It's an assurance he'd give almost anyone at this point, but he may not be as candid as he will be with his daughter. Even with William, he would hold the darkest parts back, but he doesn't believe he has to with Mia. )

[blackstarred]

[She promised Barry that she wouldn't spill the beans. That she would keep her father's understanding - or lack thereof - of Crisis intact. But she doesn't have anyone else to talk to.]

When you were the Arrow did you have a hard time of ... keeping separate what the Arrow knew versus what Oliver Queen was supposed to know?

[kapiushon]

( He thinks about that, because as much as he separated the two for the first few years of his vigilantism, he realized there was never a wall between them. The consequences of his actions befell both Oliver and the Hood/the Arrow/the Green Arrow. )

As much as I wanted to keep my lives separate, and I successfully did for a few... weeks, but pretty quickly the people I loved found out. Or, suffered underneath the consequences of my crusade. It was never about Oliver Queen or the Arrow, I was both as much as I thought I could separate the two.

( And he couldn't. )

Is that what it feels like being the slayer? That you have more knowledge than you should as Mia Queen?

[blackstarred]

[Being the Slayer isn't really a problem, but being a Slayer also caused the problem, so it's hard to say they're not separate.]

Kind of. All the Slayers get these dreams. Memories, sometimes, of the Slayers who came before them. It's ... disorienting, sometimes. You forget what's you and what's someone else.

[kapiushon]

That's a lot to live with.

( He tries to tread carefully, to listen closely, and to be there. )

Is it hard some days to distinguish between you and these past slayers?

[blackstarred]

Sometimes.

[She wakes up in her cushy room at the Queen Manor and forgets, briefly, that she's not supposed to be waking up in a bunker in the wrong Star City. She sees her father's face and feels the ache of a girl who grew up without him.]

After a minute or so, I remember, but it's like I've got two different people warring for control.

[kapiushon]

Who wins?

( He wants her to, hopes she'll say Mia Queen. But a father worries, and tries to sense motive (4) but if anyone is his blindspot, it's Mia Queen, daughter of Felicity, so he takes her story of historical dreams at face value. )

[blackstarred]

Usually Mia Queen.

[Usually.]

And Buffy helped a lot, when I was back in Scotland. She's been doing this a long time. But now I'm trying to figure it out on my own.

[kapiushon]

Is there anything I can help with?

( Is it his place? Is he capable? )

[blackstarred]

[She doesn't know if she can do that without breaking her promise.

But then again, Barry isn't always right. But she can't say for sure, and she doesn't want to hurt her father.]

Just ... if I look at you like I've never seen you before, don't take it personally? And remind me?

[kapiushon]

I'll do anything.

( It's a promise. He doesn't want to overstep, again, but she has approached him so the door is open. He can't help but ask. )

Mia, should I be worried?

[blackstarred]

[She shakes her head.]

No, I'm okay. Buffy says it evens out, and I'm still really new to this.

[At least, she hopes she'll be able to figure it out.]

[kapiushon]

You're adaptive. And strong. You won't let this sideline you. Is that what you're worried about? Losing yourself?

( This would explain her tonal shift, a loss of innocence Edith Wharton could write sequels about. )

[blackstarred]

A little bit.

[Her hands clench into fists for a moment before she shakes her head.]

Just ... more and more of a different me who didn't get to have this life. Who didn't get to have you.

[Which she shouldn't have said. She knows it as soon as she says it, but that's the person she's scared of losing to the most.]

[kapiushon]

A different you?

( If he was listening right, she was experiencing the past, not the parallel. )

Do you mean you're dreaming about a different you from a different Earth?

( And could that means something more? Should he call Laurel? )

[blackstarred]

Kind of.

[ ... She opened the door. Now she has to do this.]

More like a fragment of a timeline that no longer exists.

[kapiushon]

What are you talking about?

( Dreaming this other life would take its' toll. But, he wonders what details those dreams would reveal. If they'd go so far as to reveal that timeline is gone. )

[blackstarred]

Uncle Barry is going to kill me.

[But too late, this is happening. She sucks at keeping secrets from her dad anyway.]

When my Slayer abilities activated, I remembered Crisis. And more to the point, I remembered the person I was before Crisis.

[kapiushon]

Not if I kill him first.

( If we're following the killing logic. )

Mia, what's Crisis? Is that... another universe?

[blackstarred]

[She shakes her head.]

It was an event. Some eldritch being was trying to destroy the multiverse, and they almost succeeded. But there was a me there from a timeline where you died and I grew up alone.

[She can't even really count Felicity, given how much she was keeping from her.]

I didn't even really get to know William. Everything was different.

[kapiushon]

And you... remember this timeline. You have ever since you became a slayer.

( He takes that in, waiting for the answer. )

Is that why you stayed away for so long?