everyonelives | i'm leaving you my last curse

( She knows how her son must feel, her own head swirls with memories also taken away. Including a clear memory of getting Dean out of town as fast as she could. She remembers telling Dean Ben wasn't his definitively. But also inviting him for a longer weekend should he want one.

And then he was back in their lives. And broken. And then gone all over again.

And she remembers their phone call. She remembers it all.

She goes to the door and locks it behind them before turning around. )

He wasn't lying. Obviously. He was with Ben and me for over a year. And he took that away.

I think we know how Ben's doing.

[He hasn't exactly been shy with his feelings and Rudy doesn't blame him. It's a lot to take in and wrestle with, side conversation with Dean aside.]

How are you doing?

( She laughs to herself, playing it all back. Remembering two nights before. How she was just a candidate for mayor and a business owner with a husband and a son. And now she's Lisa Braeden, Dean Winchester's ex-girlfriend whose memory he tampered with. )

I don't like what I remember, especially at the end. I -- see why he did what he did. That doesn't make it okay.

( And she feels like she owes her son a conversation, too. )

We could defend ourselves. He taught us things. He -- could've put us in even more danger. We never moved. What was stopping that demo --

( She stops herself. )

I remember what happened at the end and, it wasn't good.

( She brings a hand to her head. )

And now my head is reeling. I want to book us all tattoo appointments... ( she frowns, bringing her hand down. ) But, Ben beat us to that. That's one of them. I remember it. Something got through to you.

[Rudy moves closer, placing his hands on her shoulders gently for support and giving them a soft squeeze. When she draws attention to the tattoo, however, he pushes up his sleeve and studies the anti-possession ink mixed in with everything else.

Yeah, something stuck alright. He just wished he understood what that meant.

He drops down onto the couch, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.]

This is all fucked.

( She lets herself sink into him for a second while Dickerson moves and sits beside his best friend on the couch. Neither of them know just what to say yet, if there's even one thing to say vs the million things they both could.

Lisa turns her head to face her son and Dickerson, still in Rudy's arms. )

We wanted them back. If that makes us fucked, then it's up to us to figure out how to unfuck everything. Not him. Not this time.

[Ben lets out a deep breath as he sags into the couch, head spinning. A small part of him, the little kid Dean left behind, does want Dean to come back and fix it. Wants to believe that if he does everything will be fine.

But that emotional problem isn't his to untangle, so he's going to focus on what he can fix.]

Everyone needs to get tattoos.

[Rudy pauses, before looking a little green. "Does it have to be a tattoo?" He has a small thing with needles. It's a little embarrassing, but there is a reason why he's a therapist and not a physician, aside from his A+ people skills.]

( Dickerson just looks past his buddy to Rudy and then his mom and back.

"Everybody everybody?"

His unasked 'Why' lingers in the air between everyone, but his eyebrows say everything.

Lisa leans back. )

I'll be there. You can get it anywhere, and I will be right next to you or in front of you or wherever you need me, okay?

( "We get to pick the subject of the tattoo?" Dickerson asks, still confused.

Lisa looks back at her son. )

You're getting that. You're both getting that. It... will keep us - all of us from being possessed. By a demon. Which happened to me. The "car accident."

[Rudy makes a face, but he will do it, if that's what they need. This possession thing does not sound like something they want to mess around with.

Ben lifts his arm to point out the part he means to Dickerson before nodding.]

Yeah, I remember that too. You were stabbed pretty bad. Pretty sure all the doctors thought you ...

[Yeah, let's not think about that.]

Anyway. Let's just not fuck with demons.

It's an avoidable situation.

( Which is what they should focus on. She shudders and lets go of Rudy, finally, moving back into the middle of the room. Turning to face everyone, she brings her hands together. )

How are you two handling all of this? Ben and I were at least primed. I know you weren't expecting angels and demons.

It's ... a lot.

[Rudy won't lie and say that he's handling all of this well. It's easy enough to have the human aspect to focus on in the Dean of it all, but now that that's off the table he's forced to look at the bigger picture.

And he can't say he likes it.]

I'm not entirely sure I believe all of it.

I believe it.

( He holds his hand up, like he's being called on in class. )

But I don't like it.

No one likes it. If people liked it, Dean wouldn't have a job.

[Demons basically suck for everyone but demons.]

So, he really is ... a hunter. He hunts - demons and, and changelings and shit.

( "He rides into town, usually off a newspaper clipping or something that flags his hunter antennae and then he and, usually his brother, stop whatever needs stopping. I thought it was brave for a long time. But, it's also another way of keeping few ties. And he knows that." Lisa says. )

And you dated him for like a year. And he was your stepdad for a year.

He was on sabbatical.

[It was supposed to be him quitting, but they can call it what it was now.]

Trying out having a civilian life for a little while. His brother died, or at least we thought he did, so he was working construction and living here.

[And drinking. There was so much drinking. That particular aversion of his makes a little more sense too.]

He wasn't in good shape, but he was trying.

His brother with no soul.

( He caught some of it. )

Dude.

( His mind's a little blown. )

So, everything that goes bump in the night, or whatever. The bogeyman?

( "He told me about a Stryga once. Basically the bogeyman. He was a local doctor taking care of the kids he put in comas. Real fucked up stuff hunters find," Lisa explains. )

And they almost all eat people. No one really knows why.

[It's all gross. Ridiculously so.]

Ghosts are a big thing too.

( To Rudy, though. )

Get a load of ghosts.

( He sits further back in the couch and lets him sink down. )

So, that's your dad. He's big on excuses.

Apparently.

[Ben runs a hand over his face. "He wasn't all bad" is what he wants to say, but he shoves that down, because he's not quite there yet.]

I don't know what to do.

( he smacks Ben's knee once, twice. )

You have a dad. You know it's your dad. I think your step one's stepped. A lot farther than some people get.

Yeah, but I also want to punch him in the face. That's not usually step two.

[He wouldn't actually punch Dean. He'd be real bad at it. But that's just where his emotions are at.]

I'll figure it out. I just need some time.

Hey. We're all here. Right?

( He knows they are, but hey, it's good to know reinforcements are behind you. )

Maybe don't punch your dad who just came out of the woodwork in the face.

I'll do my best.

[He glances over at his mom.]

You okay?

I'll punch him for ya.

( Lisa looks back at her son.

"I'm okay. You okay?"

She has some damage control, a temple massage, probably some time she'll need to devote to Rudy. But she's okay. )

[He nods slowly, before getting to his feet.]

I should go home. Catch my breath.

[Give his mom some space to process everything without having to worry about his feelings. He's sure that she and Rudy are probably in need of a conversation without him in the room.]

But I'll let you know if I decide to reach out to him again?

I'm here if you want to talk anything out.

( she gives him a hug, and then rests her hands on Rudy's back to walk him toward the kitchen. they need a moment and they need to eat.

"Give you a ride?" )

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