Because you'll never leave. You can talk about it all you want under the covers, or after a really bad fight with your dad, but your brother is here. Your family is here. I don't know what it says that you fit into your family but my stepfords... I will die here. If I stay here. I will die here. But, you won't. You can do this. You fit. I -- never have. And if I thought I could pry my parents away from our family business, I would. But, they're -- I don't even know. I don't know, all I know is I can't be here because if I am here, I won't survive. I'll die. And I don't want to leave you. And I don't ( she tears up. ) want to stop talking every day, and exchanging looks at our mandatory dinners and - and I don't, but, I don't want to die.
She would joke that she needs to have a heart for that, but her heart is there. She needs to shield it in a briar of thorns in order to keep it away from her determined mother, the snide comments of her father. Is she truly built so well to survive?
It hurts that Sierra thinks that she'll never leave. That she can't do the things she wants to do. It hurts that she thinks that her parents are any better and maybe they are. But they still raised her here.]
Fine. Then go. But I can't promise I'll be here when you get back.
[Not as she is now. Not as the person who offers her trust to Sierra wholeheartedly. If Sierra leaves her here with no other recourse, then Jaqueline will not apologize for who she'll have to become and what soft parts of her she'll have to turn to stone.]
( She knows there isn't anything else to say. Or, do. She can't fix this. She can't change her mind. She doesn't do that. She never has. She broke it. Maybe Jaq and her were the only intact thing in her broken mirror of a life.
But, she broke that, too.
She leaves Jaq to her anger and returns to the bed, pulling the strap up from the bag. )
[So no. She doesn't get a pretty, pleasant goodbye when she's not going to be treated like enough of an equal to get a damn goodbye.]
I'm not going to pretend to be happy about it. And I'm not going to let you just pat me on the head on your way out the door. So take what you get and go.
( Why are those the two alternatives? She shoulders her bag and gives her girlfriend one last look before crouching down and engaging her hereditary power, phasing in a pool of neon green light, disappearing through the floor. )
[Jaqueline wants to scream. She wants to rage. She wants to trash the room in front of her and hope that it makes her feel better.
What she will do is steal her father's whiskey, drink half the bottle and make herself Max's problem. He'll worry, especially because she's not going to tell him why, not really. Maybe let him think it's about David's being possessed and she's oh-so-broken up about her fiance being missing.
The Harpers will also ask her some questions later, but fortunately she has no answers to give. She retreats, focuses on her coding and her computers, and decides not to give a fuck about other people for a while.
Days turn into months turn into almost a year and a half before a bad fight with her father has her reaching for her phone. She doesn't know if Sierra is using the same number, but she sends a text to it all the same. Even if it's just talking into the ether, maybe it would make her feel better.]
( David's trail goes cold immediately. When a demon disappears, he disappears. Or, she. Or, it. Whomever is inside her best friend is gone. She tries, at first, to focus and keep her antennae up. She doesn't know where he'd go, but does know where a demon might take him. He doesn't end up at their Connecticut boarding school. Or, one of the big hotels in the city.
She lies low with one of the teachers. One of the only adults in her life she feels like she can trust. It's overstepping on both parts but she could read between the lines and offered her sanctuary.
She missed Jacqueline more than anything. She worries. One call a month later goes unanswered. A text three months later - well, maybe she's blocked. She doesn't know. By then, she's focusing on her craft. She's out of the country. She's holistic. She's breathing. Life isn't about things and power and consolidation. She's Sierra and she's only starting to understand what that means.
And what she can do.
She learns about wells of power by accident. She's not after power. Not yet.
It's a novel concept that power doesn't just flow through one family ancestral line, but it can be connected to a group, to a location, to an idea. She lived her life so rigidly. Under terms. And her fellow "heirs," more strictly.
Freedom is ... still stifling.
She doesn't realize how stifling until she receives a message out of the blue. She never deleted Jaq's number. And she wasn't going to be the one to block it. If she ever needed anything.
She would be there. She'd go back in a heartbeat.
She just thought she'd do it herself. When she was ready. Will she ever be ready? )
[Not if Max isn't. The one person who has never left her, for better or worse. She won't leave him. He needs to be ready to leave with her.
She stares at her response for a long moment, before she decides to keep it relatively light.]
Because you woke up early or stayed up too late?
[Jaqueline doesn't think she's ever seen a sunrise. She's always liked her sleep too much. She also doesn't think they can talk about nothing forever, but she thinks it's a much better option than otherwise.]
( Except for the occasional hedonistic letting go ceremony. Which is literally just going to a bar in the village. There isn't much balance between the two. It's a collective. Everyone is an equal. )
( She's been feeling restless, like nothing is enough. Knowledge, friendship, silence, piece. Nothing. It's like Jaq sensed it. Like she needs something to shake things up. She might not last long where she is. And she may incite chaos in the meantime, leaving it in her wake. )
["Good for you" feels too sarcastic and she doesn't want this to become that. She's possibly incapable of restraining her barbs on a good day.
She also doesn't want to barge in with what's actually bothering her either. Because she knows what Sierra will say, and it will only make things worse when she says no. So she'll transition to something more neutral.]
( That's calculated. She remembers Damian's dealings with their families. They are all different, according to whom calls upon him, her parents always being the least severe. But, David's parents. Would they ask for him alive? )
Do they want him dead or do they want him back?
The rumors are that they had him possessed and lost control. Amateur work, if you ask me.
They picked Jericho because they want him back alive.
[Damian Jericho does not do wetwork - not intentionally anyway. There's also the chance that the demon might have already gotten himself stabbed or worse. But for now, they're assuming that he is alive, and will remain that way.]
They still have no idea where he is. Seems the demon has warded himself against being re-summoned.
If I were a demon, it's the first thing I'd do. That, and get as far away from where I was. They should look into distant ties. Maybe from our childhood. You remember those twins from California, from boarding school. That's where they should be looking. Personal ties he can exploit.
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everyonelives2025-07-26 07:05 pm
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She would joke that she needs to have a heart for that, but her heart is there. She needs to shield it in a briar of thorns in order to keep it away from her determined mother, the snide comments of her father. Is she truly built so well to survive?
It hurts that Sierra thinks that she'll never leave. That she can't do the things she wants to do. It hurts that she thinks that her parents are any better and maybe they are. But they still raised her here.]
Fine. Then go. But I can't promise I'll be here when you get back.
[Not as she is now. Not as the person who offers her trust to Sierra wholeheartedly. If Sierra leaves her here with no other recourse, then Jaqueline will not apologize for who she'll have to become and what soft parts of her she'll have to turn to stone.]
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( She won't. She'll try. She tries to move forward, to take her secret girlfriend in her arms. )
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Still, she can't help but give her something:]
Good luck.
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( She knows there isn't anything else to say. Or, do. She can't fix this. She can't change her mind. She doesn't do that. She never has. She broke it. Maybe Jaq and her were the only intact thing in her broken mirror of a life.
But, she broke that, too.
She leaves Jaq to her anger and returns to the bed, pulling the strap up from the bag. )
You're really gonna leave it like this?
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[How else did you expect to leave this, Sierra? With no warning, no conversation?]
Were you even going to say goodbye? If David hadn't gotten fucking possessed, would we even have this?
[It doesn't feel like they would have.]
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I thought it would be harder.
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[So no. She doesn't get a pretty, pleasant goodbye when she's not going to be treated like enough of an equal to get a damn goodbye.]
I'm not going to pretend to be happy about it. And I'm not going to let you just pat me on the head on your way out the door. So take what you get and go.
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What she will do is steal her father's whiskey, drink half the bottle and make herself Max's problem. He'll worry, especially because she's not going to tell him why, not really. Maybe let him think it's about David's being possessed and she's oh-so-broken up about her fiance being missing.
The Harpers will also ask her some questions later, but fortunately she has no answers to give. She retreats, focuses on her coding and her computers, and decides not to give a fuck about other people for a while.
Days turn into months turn into almost a year and a half before a bad fight with her father has her reaching for her phone. She doesn't know if Sierra is using the same number, but she sends a text to it all the same. Even if it's just talking into the ether, maybe it would make her feel better.]
Are you alive?
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She lies low with one of the teachers. One of the only adults in her life she feels like she can trust. It's overstepping on both parts but she could read between the lines and offered her sanctuary.
She missed Jacqueline more than anything. She worries. One call a month later goes unanswered. A text three months later - well, maybe she's blocked. She doesn't know. By then, she's focusing on her craft. She's out of the country. She's holistic. She's breathing. Life isn't about things and power and consolidation. She's Sierra and she's only starting to understand what that means.
And what she can do.
She learns about wells of power by accident. She's not after power. Not yet.
It's a novel concept that power doesn't just flow through one family ancestral line, but it can be connected to a group, to a location, to an idea. She lived her life so rigidly. Under terms. And her fellow "heirs," more strictly.
Freedom is ... still stifling.
She doesn't realize how stifling until she receives a message out of the blue. She never deleted Jaq's number. And she wasn't going to be the one to block it. If she ever needed anything.
She would be there. She'd go back in a heartbeat.
She just thought she'd do it herself. When she was ready. Will she ever be ready? )
I watched the sunrise.
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She stares at her response for a long moment, before she decides to keep it relatively light.]
Because you woke up early or stayed up too late?
[Jaqueline doesn't think she's ever seen a sunrise. She's always liked her sleep too much. She also doesn't think they can talk about nothing forever, but she thinks it's a much better option than otherwise.]
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( Except for the occasional hedonistic letting go ceremony. Which is literally just going to a bar in the village. There isn't much balance between the two. It's a collective. Everyone is an equal. )
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[Which may translate to how cult-ish, but she really isn't one to talk when she's in the cult of all cults if you're looking at the BITE model.
Behavioral control? Check.
Informational control? Check.
Thought control? They're trying.
Emotion control? Trying that too.
She tries not to be a hypocrite if she can help it.]
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( She's been feeling restless, like nothing is enough. Knowledge, friendship, silence, piece. Nothing. It's like Jaq sensed it. Like she needs something to shake things up. She might not last long where she is. And she may incite chaos in the meantime, leaving it in her wake. )
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She also doesn't want to barge in with what's actually bothering her either. Because she knows what Sierra will say, and it will only make things worse when she says no. So she'll transition to something more neutral.]
They're hiring Damian Jericho to go after David.
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Do they want him dead or do they want him back?
The rumors are that they had him possessed and lost control. Amateur work, if you ask me.
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[Damian Jericho does not do wetwork - not intentionally anyway. There's also the chance that the demon might have already gotten himself stabbed or worse. But for now, they're assuming that he is alive, and will remain that way.]
They still have no idea where he is. Seems the demon has warded himself against being re-summoned.
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[They've maxed out the obvious choices and now are moving on to the less obvious ones.]
Wherever the demon wearing David is, he's far off the grid.
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How are your parents taking it? How's Maxie?
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[It's impossible for them to blame the disappearance of her fiancé on her, thankfully. Not when there's such concrete evidence of his family's mistake. But she can still feel the tension growing.
What will they do with Jaqueline without David to dispose of her onto?]
My mother says I should try and prepare for "new suitors."
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[Cotillion? Absolutely not.]
No, it's more a lot of "my dear old friend is coming to town and oh look, they have a son your age. Please dress nicely for dinner."
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