Yeah, apparently. Those times are less clear, though. I remember that trip. ( Not the one where he was killed so Elena would turn her humanity back on. ) But not the others, not really. Not sure that's your deal, though, or if we're only in -- your mind, or, somewhere else. I'm kind of sick of the other somewhere else's we could be.
[It's teasing, but there's a bittersweet edge to it, knowing this may be the last time they get to speak. She remembers the previous last time, and their promised goodbyes, but none of those things actually came to pass.
She tucks her arm in his.]
If you want to be my other-worldly escort, I won't say no.
( Just that there's always somewhere else they didn't know existed. Now isn't the time to talk about Peace, to tell her what it's like. Besides his rib about saying hey to Jenna. Guess that tells her everything. )
I don't think I'd have a choice? But, of everyone you might get, I don't hate that it's me. You'll need to lead the way, though. Like I said, I have one memory and last time my body was in the sheriff's office. Where's yours?
[Which is unfortunate to admit, but it's also the truth.]
When they kidnapped me, they used someone who can travel anywhere simply by opening a door, so while I was in Kansas, now ... I don't know. I could be anywhere.
[Which is rather daunting, but her people will find her. She has to focus on that if she wants to make it through this.]
( Like teleportation? It sounds cool, but everything that could be magic sounds cool until it's put into practice. And usually, Matt gets the brunt of it. )
So, maybe we're not in Mystic Falls. But, I'm here and you're here and this is what we were given. Maybe you can give yourself something else. Transport us... to you.
[Elena takes a deep breath, trying to see if she can sense the other part of herself somewhere out in the ether (8). She doesn't sense much, but she knows that wherever her body is, it's definitely away from Mystic Falls.]
[He's able to adjust her path ever so slightly, and they start heading off into the woods, following the tempting lure of Elena's own body. She can feel her gut churning, hoping that they won't be wandering for too long.
But, to avoid walking in silence:]
So do you want me to catch you up?
[On their friends, their little Mystic Falls family. She doesn't know how much he can see of their lives, but she'd be happy to tell him.]
[She nods, looking out into the trees as they walk.]
My parents came back. Which has been ... really, really weird. Like, good, don't get me wrong, but ... they missed so much and so much of it awful. And naturally, they asked about you. But it wasn't just that.
[She swallows hard.]
Damon called and decided to start rehashing our breakup and you - or more specifically the lack of you - was definitely a part of it. So ... hard not to spend some time contemplating the Matt-shaped absence in my life.
Yeah, so. The witches that kidnapped me are from a coven called the Colony.
[And as they walk she explains the situation with the Colony and how they were helping trying to remove certain bodies from play. Then, the caves and the spell that triggered some resurrections in order to provide them extra bodies to jump into.]
Fortunately we found a loophole but ... that also means that they're back and I've had to explain ... everything that happened after they died from Stefan to Klaus to being a vampire. Jeremy was there to help, fortunately, so it's not just me talking about it all the time, but a lot of it happened to me.
[She swallows.]
My mom isn't taking it well. Dad's trying but Mom ... I think she would prefer if Jer and I just stuck our heads in the sand and pretended the supernatural didn't exist.
Maybe she's just scared. Scared of all the life she hasn't seen you live, and what she's now seeing your life is like. I'm guessing they know you've been taken, so that isn't easy. I'm not saying cut her some slack, because there's a lot she probably is judging. And I didn't... take any of it well when it came down to it. But, she's your mom.
( He tries not to bring himself into this. He took everything in stride, then slowly, piece by piece, grew to greatly dislike the supernatural and what it did to his life and his friends' lives and his hometown. )
She hasn't had everything, she only has what she heard. And she probably doesn't like any of it. How can she. But once she focuses on you. In the here and now. When you're safe and not kidnapped, cause we're getting you back - maybe then she'll chill. Put her own life back together.
It's only been a month, give or take. And I know it's a lot to get used to. Like I lived it, but trying to summarize it to explain it to them is exhausting, I can't even imagine what hearing it is like.
[It's just hard when she feels like she isn't want her parents wanted her to be.]
I just can't help but feel like I've disappointed her.
( He didn't have parents to disappoint. They disappointed him. And he died on his dad before he could do anything. Like clockwork, his dad was probably embroiled in all things Mystic Falls. But, to have his mom back, to hear everything that happened. Yeah, he saw some of that. And his sister. Sucks. )
Elena. You, Caroline, Bonnie... You're the opposite of disappointments. I know you lost me while you were under Kai's spell, but I lost you, too, and, Elena, I was proud to know you. And, really, really hurt I might not see you in my lifetime. Again.
( And look how that turned out. )
And, Damon chose now to - what, go back through your greatest hits? Did he mention Sybil - or me?
[Elena looks over at him at that, and she offers him a small smile, because somehow that was exactly what she needed to hear.]
I miss you so much.
[But right, now they have to talk about Damon.]
Apparently we never really had it out when we broke up, so he wanted to have it out now. He wanted me to lay out all my reasons why I was unhappy because he didn't believe that I went from being happy to unhappy.
( But, yep, this isn't about them right this second. )
And, twenty-some years later was the time. Vampires have nothing but time on their hands, I guess. You know that was about him, right? Not about you. Not even about you and him. That was all Damon being Damon. Don't get me wrong, I remember him when you were asleep, but, I also remember Damon finding me outside my dad's shop. ( But he's not looking to make her hate her ex. ) We've all done pretty shitty things to one another.
[She strives to do better now, to not make the same mistakes over and over again, but she can't deny that she hasn't always made the best choices.]
And I know he was controlled by a siren. I tried so hard not to blame him. But ... I just couldn't get past it. I guess losing you was the straw that broke the camel's back. I realized that so much of our relationship was me making excuses for him, but I couldn't do it anymore.
I thought my final straw was Penny. I don't know if anybody would have told you, or if it came up, but - back when Mystic Falls was basically an abandoned war zone, I was stopped by a cop two towns over. I wasn't drunk, but, she booked me and found my weapons stash. But, then we got closer and we started hunting the vampires together. Julian's crew or the occasional curious vampire who heard a tall tale about the fair game for anyone that wandered inside the town lines. ( He goes quiet. ) I thought I was really done because Caroline and Stefan compelled the town to leave for their own good, and then when Penny died. ...I got angry and I stayed angry. And when I learned what really had happened - ( Maybe something renewed in him. ) I'm sure you read about all this, but, when Bonnie became the next Rayna I tried my best to help her and keep her away from everyone and of course... that backfired. ( And he got hurt again. ) And then Damon disappeared and I packed up and I never looked back. I needed something more, you know. I thought all my life that Mystic Falls swallowed me up, but I let it. Once I tracked my dad down and tried to do something for myself, Damon found me. And he made a statement.
( A beat. )
But I don't regret any of it because even when push came to shove, Bonnie, Stefan, Caroline, I had their backs. But, I stopped making excuses. And I only helped when I knew they needed it. I set boundaries.
( A lot of good it did him in the long run. )
You put your foot down and maybe he doesn't know it, but for almost twenty years, he respected it. Or ignored it. You're hard to get over, Elena.
[Elena does remember hearing about Penny. Caroline left detailed notes on the things she missed. Her head also ducks some when he says she's hard to get over. She doesn't mean to be.]
Probably didn't help that this was the first time in a while I've really been with someone.
[Someone not Damon. Someone not a random date for an attempt at that normal life.]
I am sorry you lost Penny. Did you find her over here?
[Maybe it helps that they can be together now, even if Matt can't be back with the rest of them.]
[She can see it, and she squeezes his arm gently as she turns to face him more.
She knows how it feels to have killed someone. Even if the blood on her hands isn't someone she particularly cared for, she knows how it feels to know that the reason that person isn't there anymore is your fault. She can't even imagine what it would be like if it was someone she loved, someone she was thinking of spending her life with.
But she also knows Matt, and if he needs to hear it, she'll say it.]
You're a good man, Matt. I know we didn't always make it easy, but when I felt like I was flying off the rails and didn't know which way was up anymore, I knew you would help me figure it out. That you would remind me where the line was.
[She gives him a small smile before nodding.]
One mistake, one accident, doesn't change that. But I know it isn't easy to live with.
( He knows, at least that she left at first. That's being at Peace when you take glimpses back into the life you lived, but he's not about to admit to being that kind of guy. )
You know, I always knew if any of us got out, that maybe we'd be better off. Like that town would swallow us whole.
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Yeah, apparently. Those times are less clear, though. I remember that trip. ( Not the one where he was killed so Elena would turn her humanity back on. ) But not the others, not really. Not sure that's your deal, though, or if we're only in -- your mind, or, somewhere else. I'm kind of sick of the other somewhere else's we could be.
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[It's teasing, but there's a bittersweet edge to it, knowing this may be the last time they get to speak. She remembers the previous last time, and their promised goodbyes, but none of those things actually came to pass.
She tucks her arm in his.]
If you want to be my other-worldly escort, I won't say no.
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I don't think I'd have a choice? But, of everyone you might get, I don't hate that it's me. You'll need to lead the way, though. Like I said, I have one memory and last time my body was in the sheriff's office. Where's yours?
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[Which is unfortunate to admit, but it's also the truth.]
When they kidnapped me, they used someone who can travel anywhere simply by opening a door, so while I was in Kansas, now ... I don't know. I could be anywhere.
[Which is rather daunting, but her people will find her. She has to focus on that if she wants to make it through this.]
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( Like teleportation? It sounds cool, but everything that could be magic sounds cool until it's put into practice. And usually, Matt gets the brunt of it. )
So, maybe we're not in Mystic Falls. But, I'm here and you're here and this is what we were given. Maybe you can give yourself something else. Transport us... to you.
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Maybe ...
[She points away, further into the woods.]
That way?
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But, to avoid walking in silence:]
So do you want me to catch you up?
[On their friends, their little Mystic Falls family. She doesn't know how much he can see of their lives, but she'd be happy to tell him.]
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( Normally, they're there for the big moments. Or, when they're thought about. )
You've been thinking about me lately?
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My parents came back. Which has been ... really, really weird. Like, good, don't get me wrong, but ... they missed so much and so much of it awful. And naturally, they asked about you. But it wasn't just that.
[She swallows hard.]
Damon called and decided to start rehashing our breakup and you - or more specifically the lack of you - was definitely a part of it. So ... hard not to spend some time contemplating the Matt-shaped absence in my life.
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[And as they walk she explains the situation with the Colony and how they were helping trying to remove certain bodies from play. Then, the caves and the spell that triggered some resurrections in order to provide them extra bodies to jump into.]
Fortunately we found a loophole but ... that also means that they're back and I've had to explain ... everything that happened after they died from Stefan to Klaus to being a vampire. Jeremy was there to help, fortunately, so it's not just me talking about it all the time, but a lot of it happened to me.
[She swallows.]
My mom isn't taking it well. Dad's trying but Mom ... I think she would prefer if Jer and I just stuck our heads in the sand and pretended the supernatural didn't exist.
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( He tries not to bring himself into this. He took everything in stride, then slowly, piece by piece, grew to greatly dislike the supernatural and what it did to his life and his friends' lives and his hometown. )
She hasn't had everything, she only has what she heard. And she probably doesn't like any of it. How can she. But once she focuses on you. In the here and now. When you're safe and not kidnapped, cause we're getting you back - maybe then she'll chill. Put her own life back together.
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It's only been a month, give or take. And I know it's a lot to get used to. Like I lived it, but trying to summarize it to explain it to them is exhausting, I can't even imagine what hearing it is like.
[It's just hard when she feels like she isn't want her parents wanted her to be.]
I just can't help but feel like I've disappointed her.
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Elena. You, Caroline, Bonnie... You're the opposite of disappointments. I know you lost me while you were under Kai's spell, but I lost you, too, and, Elena, I was proud to know you. And, really, really hurt I might not see you in my lifetime. Again.
( And look how that turned out. )
And, Damon chose now to - what, go back through your greatest hits? Did he mention Sybil - or me?
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I miss you so much.
[But right, now they have to talk about Damon.]
Apparently we never really had it out when we broke up, so he wanted to have it out now. He wanted me to lay out all my reasons why I was unhappy because he didn't believe that I went from being happy to unhappy.
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( But, yep, this isn't about them right this second. )
And, twenty-some years later was the time. Vampires have nothing but time on their hands, I guess. You know that was about him, right? Not about you. Not even about you and him. That was all Damon being Damon. Don't get me wrong, I remember him when you were asleep, but, I also remember Damon finding me outside my dad's shop. ( But he's not looking to make her hate her ex. ) We've all done pretty shitty things to one another.
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[She strives to do better now, to not make the same mistakes over and over again, but she can't deny that she hasn't always made the best choices.]
And I know he was controlled by a siren. I tried so hard not to blame him. But ... I just couldn't get past it. I guess losing you was the straw that broke the camel's back. I realized that so much of our relationship was me making excuses for him, but I couldn't do it anymore.
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( A beat. )
But I don't regret any of it because even when push came to shove, Bonnie, Stefan, Caroline, I had their backs. But, I stopped making excuses. And I only helped when I knew they needed it. I set boundaries.
( A lot of good it did him in the long run. )
You put your foot down and maybe he doesn't know it, but for almost twenty years, he respected it. Or ignored it. You're hard to get over, Elena.
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Probably didn't help that this was the first time in a while I've really been with someone.
[Someone not Damon. Someone not a random date for an attempt at that normal life.]
I am sorry you lost Penny. Did you find her over here?
[Maybe it helps that they can be together now, even if Matt can't be back with the rest of them.]
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( She shouldn't carry that. And it's selfish of Damon to make it her problem. All these damn years later. )
Not like that.
( She understands accidents. He still holds himself accountable. Maybe his stubbornness and hatred brought him that. )
She forgave me.
( He hasn't forgiven himself. Elena can see it on his face, even in the forest's lighting. )
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She knows how it feels to have killed someone. Even if the blood on her hands isn't someone she particularly cared for, she knows how it feels to know that the reason that person isn't there anymore is your fault. She can't even imagine what it would be like if it was someone she loved, someone she was thinking of spending her life with.
But she also knows Matt, and if he needs to hear it, she'll say it.]
You're a good man, Matt. I know we didn't always make it easy, but when I felt like I was flying off the rails and didn't know which way was up anymore, I knew you would help me figure it out. That you would remind me where the line was.
[She gives him a small smile before nodding.]
One mistake, one accident, doesn't change that. But I know it isn't easy to live with.
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( And then, Damon. )
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I'm not in Mystic Falls anymore either. And it's actually ... been really freeing. I feel like an entirely different person.
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You know, I always knew if any of us got out, that maybe we'd be better off. Like that town would swallow us whole.
( Damon beat the town to it. )
Was it - med school that got you out?
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