Bonnie did. And then she was back. And awake and she spent a few weeks going through the motions. And we argued. And the real world cracked everything we had carefully built.
( He hears himself, how much he's bullshitting. Stacking everything, one after the other, remembering calling the both of them toxic, remembering erasing her memory of that necklace... But, he waits for Cami to call him on it. There was nothing carefully built. No time for their relationship to breathe outside of everything.)
[Cami would prefer not to put in the context of calling someone on it. Especially since she can tell from the look on his face that he knows that isn't entirely true. But it's not so much a lie as the thing he wants to believe.]
I can see why you would put it that way. Because from what you laid out, it seems like the timing was never quite right. Either she was with your brother, or there was a sire bond, or some other supernatural event taking place.
[There's no blame in her tone, just drawing a conclusion from the information given.]
But do you think it was timing? Truly? Having laid all of that relationship out, if you sit and be honest with yourself, why do you think you and Elena didn't work?
She told me. Because, when she, as a vampire, finally decided, herself to put everything on the line and take the cure with me, she was put into a coma. And in that coma, she thought through everything. Did everything I'm doing one-sided. And she... came to her own conclusions. And nothing was the same when she woke up and I did a terrible thing while she was sleeping. And she couldn't get past that. You don't have to tell me, because I know.
She - we - because it shouldn't be that hard. Because the odds shouldn't stack up again and again. Because when it comes down to it, I was right when we broke up the first time. We're toxic. We've always been toxic.
( He lets that go, sagging back into the couch, wishing he had something to drink. )
[Sorry, no alcohol during therapy. But her office isn't far from Rosseau's, so it's easy to get one after.
Cami nods. It's good that he can see it.]
Does it feel better? To actually say it?
[To put words to his own feelings instead of having to accommodate for everyone else. And it feels like a trite question to ask, but she's also getting the sense that Damon is the type to bury his feelings until he explodes rather than actually having a conversation about them.]
I thought we were done. I wanted to be done. For her. I wanted her to be happy. But, she found me and declared her forever love and we drove that car into the Mystic Grille.
( He doesn't have the most energy to actually unpack how that happened. )
She broke up with me because she's always making excuses for being me. And because I killed another one of her friends before that. We couldn't stay away from each other because our chemistry was combustible. But, once I realized that. I... was out. She's the one that fought. And then erased me and it's like I forgot everything I learned from the last year. I also had three to four months of living the same day to only think about getting back to her. That entire year was about getting her again. Convincing her of our love story. Until she remembered it herself... I carried it all. And - ( A beat. ) I loved her, but I was pissed. Pissed that even though she was sad, that she'd erase it all. That we were so starcrossed that she couldn't stop crying. That Alaric let her do that. She didn't erase her brother's existence. That's -- forget that. It - just -- I never blamed her. Just wooed her. But. I did. I blamed her.
I think you're right to put that blame on her if it was her decision. And I also think it's valid to be frustrated with her for seeming not to understand what it is she wanted.
[She shifts, setting her notepad to the side, wanting to make sure that she's more in this moment than making note of things for later.]
But if you had all this frustration, what was stopping you from moving on?
[And she'll let him take his time, not push. Find the thing he's still tangled around, if he can.]
When she was in a coma, all I wanted to do was be good for her, be the Damon she'd want. Take care of her friends, live my life... But, life. We had heretics and mom and her boyfriend, literal Hell, a vampire hunter and then sirens. And under the siren's spell, I did a lot of bad. After, when she was awake again, I was just happy she was awake. I missed her.
( a beat. )
There was a time I was so messed up, I believed I'd set her coffin on fire. Her, me, our future. Her life. All up in smoke. It wasn't her. Her friend Tyler had made a decoy coffin for that reason.
[Yeah, she set aside the pat too soon, she makes another small note, but she'll stay on track.]
I mean after she ended things for good. After the curse, after she decided she was done for the final time - why do you feel like you're still in limbo?
I didn't know I was. I didn't realize it. I was just working. Stefan was off. Lockwood was at the Armory. Alaric has his kids and the school. Life moves on.
( He thinks through it, back to that time, those years. Lydia coming into his orbit. Then Melanie. )
I don't know. I didn't try like last time. I didn't push. I didn't woo. She was - in school and that was out of state. And I bought the Mystic Grille.
[She nods, and while she would prefer this doesn't become a comparison between the two of them, they can go back to that later.]
I haven't been a vampire as long as you have, but there's this thing I've noticed, at least for me. I feel like ... when I stopped changing physically, I found it harder to give myself reason to change personally. Like I could change my hair or my style, but I still looked like I did when I was turned at twenty-five. It feels like maybe it's a lot easier to get stuck.
[Does that resonate? Does he feel like he keeps falling into the same patterns?]
I never felt stuck. I've never felt stuck. I lived my life. I live my life. But, life revolved around Elena for the both of us. For years. Even when I lied to myself about. Even when I compelled the truth away. Since 2009, my life has revolved around Elena Gilbert. First, it was getting under her skin, much to the chagrin of my brother, then, getting her help with Katherine, and then genuinely helping her. And caring. We became friends. And then she was what everyone was after. The tomb vampires. Katherine. Klaus. And then Stefan went off the rails and I had to look out for her. For him. And then she died. And then she was sire-bound to me and I pushed hard. We were all in a search for the cure for different reasons, but Stefan and me, we wanted Elena to have it. She never wanted to be a vampire. It was my blood in her system.
I'm not using her to justify my decisions, but I was, for a long time, stuck on her, even when things were bad. Even when I shouldn't be. That's not easy to break, Cami. But, I'm trying. I'm here. And I don't love her anymore, for the record.
( Which he's never said out loud and it takes the wind out of his righteous sails. )
[She pauses before trying to figure out how to approach this.]
I know that Elena is going to be a factor in a lot of things. But I think setting a good baseline here, I'd like it if we tried to focus on the things that you're feeling, and not using Elena - or any partner for that matter - as a basis for comparison. "I didn't do this but Elena wasn't doing it either" doesn't actually help get to the root of what you're actually feeling and the real whys of things. Does that make sense?
Yes, but I want it made clear, I'm not trying to use her to justify anything, just admitting to, myself, and God that for a long time she informed most of my decisions.
( He holds a hand up. )
But, that doesn't make them any less mind. And I'm not using her as an excuse.
Okay. Just making sure we're starting on the same page.
[Cami leans back in her seat.]
I think there's a lot we have to talk about. But I also think you've been through a lot, not just in your relationship with Elena. And asking for help is the first step.
[With that she concludes their first session, setting up a weekly cadence for now. Which is why she's surprised when a couple days later, he calls her and schedules a very last minute session. She settles across from him and picks up her notes.]
Is everything okay? You sounded a little ... frayed on the phone.
( He knows there's no real answer coming in the next forty-five minutes, but he's not suddenly coming face to face with Elena extra early. He wanted to be healed and whole and maybe in a hot new thing he could lightly flaunt in her face, not with children.
Damon doesn't sit, preferring to pace away as she settles herself. Turning back, he just lets it rip. )
You're not in the giant networking chat for all things supernatural William set up after hunter-witch-gate, are you?
( She'd know, then. Maybe it's not letting it rip. But, context is everything. Maybe if she knows people are appearing everywhere, she won't look at him crazy. Kind of like he's looking at himself. )
It's The Sixth Sense's pointless sequel. Everyone is seeing dead people. Dead people are back. And not just dead people, people that don't exist. In this world. ( He purses his lips. ) And in that case, that's not back, as much as... crossed over. As in, Elena and my's kids from another universe. Crossed over. And are currently at my best friend's apartment being witch-evaluated, poked, prodded, and questioned.
[She blinks. And then she blinks again because you hear a lot of things when you're a therapist for the supernatural, but you don't often hear things like that.]
Your and Elena's ... alternate universe children. Are here. In this universe.
[Cami leans back in her seat with a sigh.]
You really do hear something new every day.
[And back to business:]
That is a huge complication. How are you handling it?
I'm handling it. I'm trying to get them answers. I called Elena. We're... all going up to Mystic Falls for Christmas. To... further evaluate them and all the other returned people. I'm fielding late night questions about the differences in our worlds. I'm handling it.
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everyonelives2025-10-11 07:15 am
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( He hears himself, how much he's bullshitting. Stacking everything, one after the other, remembering calling the both of them toxic, remembering erasing her memory of that necklace... But, he waits for Cami to call him on it. There was nothing carefully built. No time for their relationship to breathe outside of everything. )
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I can see why you would put it that way. Because from what you laid out, it seems like the timing was never quite right. Either she was with your brother, or there was a sire bond, or some other supernatural event taking place.
[There's no blame in her tone, just drawing a conclusion from the information given.]
But do you think it was timing? Truly? Having laid all of that relationship out, if you sit and be honest with yourself, why do you think you and Elena didn't work?
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( He thinks he does, anyway. )
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[She will push this because this is her job.]
What are yours?
[Because as much as he says he was hanging on to her, he could have pushed the issue. He could have fought harder. But there was a reason he didn't.]
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( He lets that go, sagging back into the couch, wishing he had something to drink. )
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Cami nods. It's good that he can see it.]
Does it feel better? To actually say it?
[To put words to his own feelings instead of having to accommodate for everyone else. And it feels like a trite question to ask, but she's also getting the sense that Damon is the type to bury his feelings until he explodes rather than actually having a conversation about them.]
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( He doesn't have the most energy to actually unpack how that happened. )
She broke up with me because she's always making excuses for being me. And because I killed another one of her friends before that. We couldn't stay away from each other because our chemistry was combustible. But, once I realized that. I... was out. She's the one that fought. And then erased me and it's like I forgot everything I learned from the last year. I also had three to four months of living the same day to only think about getting back to her. That entire year was about getting her again. Convincing her of our love story. Until she remembered it herself... I carried it all. And - ( A beat. ) I loved her, but I was pissed. Pissed that even though she was sad, that she'd erase it all. That we were so starcrossed that she couldn't stop crying. That Alaric let her do that. She didn't erase her brother's existence. That's -- forget that. It - just -- I never blamed her. Just wooed her. But. I did. I blamed her.
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[She shifts, setting her notepad to the side, wanting to make sure that she's more in this moment than making note of things for later.]
But if you had all this frustration, what was stopping you from moving on?
[And she'll let him take his time, not push. Find the thing he's still tangled around, if he can.]
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( Because, there are -- two? Different ones? )
When she was in a coma, all I wanted to do was be good for her, be the Damon she'd want. Take care of her friends, live my life... But, life. We had heretics and mom and her boyfriend, literal Hell, a vampire hunter and then sirens. And under the siren's spell, I did a lot of bad. After, when she was awake again, I was just happy she was awake. I missed her.
( a beat. )
There was a time I was so messed up, I believed I'd set her coffin on fire. Her, me, our future. Her life. All up in smoke. It wasn't her. Her friend Tyler had made a decoy coffin for that reason.
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I mean after she ended things for good. After the curse, after she decided she was done for the final time - why do you feel like you're still in limbo?
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( He thinks through it, back to that time, those years. Lydia coming into his orbit. Then Melanie. )
I don't know. I didn't try like last time. I didn't push. I didn't woo. She was - in school and that was out of state. And I bought the Mystic Grille.
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Were you seeing other people?
[Just a question, not a judgement.]
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( He thinks harder. )
I don't know, Cami. Elena was everything and we didn't work. So, what else was out there. She wasn't dating, either.
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I haven't been a vampire as long as you have, but there's this thing I've noticed, at least for me. I feel like ... when I stopped changing physically, I found it harder to give myself reason to change personally. Like I could change my hair or my style, but I still looked like I did when I was turned at twenty-five. It feels like maybe it's a lot easier to get stuck.
[Does that resonate? Does he feel like he keeps falling into the same patterns?]
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[As much a all that information is, everything he's been through, that doesn't change the facts.]
And it feels like you're still using her to justify all your decisions. That doesn't sound stuck to you?
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( Which he's never said out loud and it takes the wind out of his righteous sails. )
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[She pauses before trying to figure out how to approach this.]
I know that Elena is going to be a factor in a lot of things. But I think setting a good baseline here, I'd like it if we tried to focus on the things that you're feeling, and not using Elena - or any partner for that matter - as a basis for comparison. "I didn't do this but Elena wasn't doing it either" doesn't actually help get to the root of what you're actually feeling and the real whys of things. Does that make sense?
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( He holds a hand up. )
But, that doesn't make them any less mind. And I'm not using her as an excuse.
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[Cami leans back in her seat.]
I think there's a lot we have to talk about. But I also think you've been through a lot, not just in your relationship with Elena. And asking for help is the first step.
[With that she concludes their first session, setting up a weekly cadence for now. Which is why she's surprised when a couple days later, he calls her and schedules a very last minute session. She settles across from him and picks up her notes.]
Is everything okay? You sounded a little ... frayed on the phone.
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Damon doesn't sit, preferring to pace away as she settles herself. Turning back, he just lets it rip. )
You're not in the giant networking chat for all things supernatural William set up after hunter-witch-gate, are you?
( She'd know, then. Maybe it's not letting it rip. But, context is everything. Maybe if she knows people are appearing everywhere, she won't look at him crazy. Kind of like he's looking at himself. )
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My cousin mentioned there was something going on, but I try to stay out of it.
[It keeps Klaus' blood pressure low if she doesn't run off into trouble when his back was turned.]
He seemed to imply it was something ... out there, though.
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Your and Elena's ... alternate universe children. Are here. In this universe.
[Cami leans back in her seat with a sigh.]
You really do hear something new every day.
[And back to business:]
That is a huge complication. How are you handling it?
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( He likes Sophie, though. In another life. )
I'm handling it. I'm trying to get them answers. I called Elena. We're... all going up to Mystic Falls for Christmas. To... further evaluate them and all the other returned people. I'm fielding late night questions about the differences in our worlds. I'm handling it.
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