but oh what a year

[patrols]

Comments

[unforgivably]

( His hands come up in a, 'what' gesture, as in, what would you even do? Where would you even start? Vampires don't go through the justice system pipeline. )

Goes by the name of Dorian.

( He interrupts as she recounts her time with his brother. )

Well. I don't condone stealing from law enforcement but that intern basically brought him out to the woods to murder him. So, I'd chalk that up to his fight or flight response. And, my brother currently in your holding cell isn't a civilized person. He's been compelled not to be. Humanity switch, if you want to add to your copious notes, Sheriff...

( What's her name? )

[patrols]

Miller. Lindsay, if we want to get personal and it seems like we are.

[Given his confessing to murder and all that.]

And yeah, I heard about that. It's weird, how your kind of vampire can just flip a switch on whether or not you have a soul. It's kind of creepy, actually. But if that's the case and your brother's flipped his switch, then he can stay down there until he turns it back on. To me, sounds like you're saying that he's a danger to himself or others so I'm not really seeing how that's an argument to let him go.

[You just seem to be proving her case for her, Damon.]

[unforgivably]

( Sheriff Miller, Lindsay.

Ignoring that he is taking Stefan with him when he goes, he holds his hand up, pressing the air a few times. Back up. )

Bup-bup, our kind of vampire?

[patrols]

Oh, you didn't think you were the only kind, did you? There's two others actually.

[Part of her is pleased he caught that. Maybe he isn't completely underestimating her after all.]

Yeah, there's a type of vampire that predates you guys buy a couple centuries at least. They're different though - no handy soul switch. No healing blood either. A lot more intentionality when a vampire is gonna turn them. In their case, they get drained by the vamp, the vamp gives 'em a little blood, and then they bury the body and a demon slips in there to take the soul's place. Upside though, I stake one of them? They turn to a pile of dust. Quick and easy clean up. I stake one of you, and I got a whole body to deal with. Messy. Not my favorite.

[She may be showing her hand a little here, but maybe it's time to dismiss the idea that she's just some local yokel who's done her research.]

The third one you shouldn't stake at all. You have to go for full decapitation and that's even messier. Also, they don't even have to kill people to turn them and have way too many teeth. Gross.

[unforgivably]

( He slides to the edge of his seat, ready to be the student.

He sets his jaw. So, she has a track record. Dust, though. That's new. Just turns to dust. Handy clean-up. Or, not? Wind does it's job. )

Yeah. Gross. So, one sounds like Anne Rice's basement flooding wet dream and the other... never heard of them. ( He slides back. ) So, you're some kind of vampire expert. Let me guess. Some such hunter whose family line leaves her destined to hunt vampires for all of eternity. Except, you got the handy trifecta map in your mind. ( He pushes his folder towards her. ) Gotta say, better than Rayna Cruz' vampire scribbles. A lot more coherent. Do you have, like, a killer secretary? Oh, and Daddy issues?

[patrols]

[General family issues, more like. But that's not important. She listens to this extrapolation of what he thinks her life is and well. He's not one hundred percent wrong. But he's not completely right either.]

Not exactly. They call us Slayers.

[She makes sure he can hear that capital "S."]

You're old enough you've probably heard of us once or twice.

[unforgivably]

( Damon knows the band, Slayer. Does that count? )

Can't say that I have. But, you're speaking to someone whose reputation usually proceeds him. Case in point. You missed the redemption arc, though, it is more a now thing. I really rock a colored past, though, don't you think? ( But to not mistake while they're here. ) Let's get back to Stefan.

[patrols]

Right. Stefan.

[And now the narration is going to make up some stuff about the Mystic Falls Sheriff's Office for funsies.]

I knew what you brother was when I grabbed him, so he's not in any of the normal cells. Turns out, I did some digging when I first got hired and the Founder's Council built vampire-proof cells in the basement of this here office. I picked the one that has a nice big patch of sunlight between him and the door for the next ten to twelve hours, give or take. Figured that would give him enough time to cool off.

[A beat.]

Oh, and I confiscated his daylight ring. Real statement piece, though it looks like you've got one that matches, so I'm gonna guess family heirloom?

[unforgivably]

( Damon's eyes narrow as he squeezes the arms of her chair, almost hard enough to break it. But, this is the new and improved Damon who forgave his brother and saw the damn light, Sybil be damned. So, he keeps his cool. )

You're not listening to anything I'm saying.

[patrols]

Oh, I hear you. I hear that you thought you could just come in here and semi-flirt, semi-threaten your way into getting your brother back, and I'm telling you that that's not the game I'm playing. This isn't going to be a I look the other way and all the humans suffer kind of relationship.

[Lindsay stares him down, not scared, not even flustered. It's just a simple statement of fact.]

I have a job to do. And I'm gonna do it. So if you want to wait here until your brother's ready to talk, you're more than welcome to, but I'm not releasing him into your care. The world's not going to end if I don't.

[unforgivably]

( Okay, so this is not Matt 2.0. )

Then I guess we've got nothing but time, cause I'm not leaving here without him.

( He holds his hand out, palm upward. )

And I'd like his ring back.

[patrols]

[No, she's really not.

But fine. She can exist in the spirit of compromise.]

It's in evidence. I'll go get it.

[And with that, she will push away from the desk and head towards the evidence locker - she waits a beat to see if he'll follow, giving her the opportunity to text Beck without him noticing, or if he'll wait at her desk.]

[unforgivably]

( He slides that chair back out, determined to stay close. He's not letting her out of his sight. She can still text, if she'd like, but he's sticking to her like glue. )

[patrols]

[Yeah, she figured he might do that. She moves behind the desk, scanning through the drawers until she finds the one she locked Stefan's daylight ring in. She pulls out her keys and unlocks it, before pulling out the plastic bag with the ring in it.

She turns and heads back to Damon, holding out the plastic bag to him across the desk.]

There you go.

[unforgivably]

( Once he sees she's not going far, he does circle back around, dropping down in time for his prize. )

Thank you.

( He unzips the bag, pouring Stefan's ring into his hand. )

That's it. ( He looks up at her. ) How long's he been out?

[patrols]

[She glances down at her watch.]

About an hour? I had just finished getting him settled when I came up to find you here.

[She doesn't know where that fits on the timeline of where Stefan was supposed to be and this business with an intern, but she hasn't had him long.]

[unforgivably]

Thank you, much, for not staking him.

( Was it the body that would've dropped that stopped her? )

Why didn't you, anyway?

[patrols]

[It was at least fifty percent the body, if she's honest. But it's not the only reason.]

Well, I was trying to fly under the radar. Staking one of the most prominent vampires in town wouldn't really do that. He attacked me, so in my capacity as sheriff, I could arrest him without it being a huge deal. I had human plausible deniability.

[Kind of. That being said.]

I was also looking for information, so I was looking to interrogate him. And, as I said. You guys are weird. You have souls, even if you can sort of turn them on and off. We try not to kill people with souls unless they don't give us any other choice. With Stefan, I still had choices. So I exercised them.

[unforgivably]

And slayers. They're not human. Plural, too, I assume.

( Well, good she exercised her choices, then. But, he respects her just a little more now. )

Weird isn't the half of it, but, you made the right choice. Or, we'd be having a very different conversation. Maybe even no conversation.

[patrols]

We're mostly human. Actually, I think we come up human according to most supernatural tests.

[She could just throw Damon across the room if he gave her a reason to. And yes, it's plural.]

I get it. Your brother's your brother. I mean, it's not my sibling relationship, but I get that it's a thing for some people. And despite my job, I'm not completely stab happy - or stake happy, in your case.

[She thinks she could take Damon, but she's not looking to pick a fight at the moment.]

[unforgivably]

Supernatural tests. Vervain. Wolfsbane. All the anes.

( Don't throw him across the room, what fun would that be. )

Fire. Sun. Torture. Just add happy to it. Sibling troubles?

[patrols]

We're not close.

[This isn't sob story hour. She's not going to get into it.]

And it's not torture, exactly. The cot he's currently sitting on is very much out of the way of direct sunlight. So long as he stays where he is, he's perfectly safe.

[unforgivably]

I wasn't calling you the torturer. We all have our unavoidable extracurriculars.

( Some things are meant to be done. )

And like all siblings, Stefan and I have had our ups and our down, but it always circles back to him and me. The good, the bad, the jailed. Both of us, several times, usually being the jailer.

[patrols]

Sounds like a pretty vicious cycle.

[She tips her head to the side with a smirk.]

Ever considered family therapy? Might work better than locking each other up all the time.

[But on that note, perception check Damon.]

[unforgivably]

To be fair, we each deserved every time we were locked up. We needed to be. I bind you, Salvatore, ( he goes into Liz's old drawer and pulls one more glass out, setting it down next to his. ) from doing harm. Harm against other people. ( He pours some whiskey into a glass for Lindsay ) And harm against yourself. ( and then into the glass closest to herself.

He holds his glass up. Clink? )