everyonelives | i'm leaving you my last curse

If I knew the answer to that, I probably wouldn't have just been kicked out.

( But, that's a copout answer, right? )

I don't know. They deserved a clean break. Maybe... I needed the clean break. Things were bad with Sam and demons found them. And they deserved better than me.

I get that.

[People deserving better than what they get is a common theme in their worlds, for better or worse. Elena could think of so many people who didn't deserve what happened to them.

Her hand reaches up gently, brushing against his cheek and meeting his eyes.]

Just ... if this went bad, I wouldn't want you erased from my story, Dean. I like having you in it. And I think part of the reason why Ben is so upset is that he did too. Demons and all.

( She brings this out of him. And maybe he should've said this to Rudy, or hell, his kid. )

I was drowning, Elena. Whole time in that house. Moved on from Sam. And then one day Sam just shows back up and I'm back in it again. Moved Lisa and Ben completely. Stayed in the picture as long as I could, went back on the road with Sammy and -- Lisa knew. I hate that I left the kid behind. But, when I did it. I felt like I had no choice.

( He pauses, closing his eyes and letting himself feel the hand on his cheek. )

I wouldn't do that to you.

Good. Because I would figure it out and you would never hear the end of it.

[Her tone is light with a smile as she brushes her thumb against his cheekbone.]

And you do have a choice now. You have a second chance. It's going to take a lot of work, but if this is what you want, you can do it.

[And then she's going to ask the question that needs to be asked, out of earshot of Ben and anyone else who could be hurt by it.]

Is this what you want?

Pretty much how'd that go.

( His eyes open again. )

He's my son, Elena. My kid. He's mine and I'm not going back. Everything's changed. Forever.

Okay. Then you should tell Sam.

[Because telling Sam makes it real, and she knows that.]

And I will go find us some lunch. Burgers?

Greasy, double patty burgers.

( Because he agrees about Sam and he was preparing to do just that. He presses a quick kiss to her lips. )

For the record, you're taking this all... in stride. Really appreciate it.

( And when she leaves him alone, he sits for a good few minutes on the bed. Downs his entire glass of tiny bottled whiskey, and then dials his brother's number bringing the phone to his ear. )

[She kisses him back with a smile. "Surprise grown adult child is not the worst thing a boyfriend's ever told me. Besides, it's not about me."

But with that she will go in search of food.

It's early in the morning in California, but not so early that Sam isn't already awake like the stupid health nut he is. Sam's phone starts to ring as he's finishing his run, and he frowns when he sees his brother's name on the screen.]

Hey, Dean. Everything okay?

( He sounds out of breath, so Dean knows that means there in fact was an early morning run. He will never be as healthy as his brother. But, he beat him to something. He just didn't know it.

He doesn't know where to start. )

Hey Sam. I'm in Battlecreek.

Battlecreek?

[If he sounds confused, it's because he is. He knows what's in Battlecreek, but Dean also said if he ever brought it up again he would get punched in the face.

Doesn't matter if they're over the phone. He's just going to play dumb and see where this goes.]

Why Battlecreek?

( Playing dumb never makes anyone happy. )

Lisa called one of the old phones. Mom picked up.

[ ... And now he's even more confused but now he at least knows the topic is safe.]

Did something happen? Is Ben okay?

He's royally pissed at me. Lisa's probably not far behind. He did one of those online DNA tests and it flagged Adam's DNA. His cop BFF tracked us down, and made the dad connection.

( he pauses, because of course there's more and he can't even say it yet. )

Cas erased me, but he didn't erase stuff. They found pictures and paperwork. Ben answered when I called back. Elena and me drove down first thing this morning. ( another beat. ) Cas, too.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

[Dean, stop burying the damn lede.]

Ben took a DNA test? And Adam showed up as a hit.

[He's gonna make Dean say it but he's already starting to connect the dots.]

( he said what he said! )

On his paternal side. Because of dad. And then Adam's DNA connected to us. Because of dad. And. ( he smacks himself with his phone and then brings the phone back to his ear. ) He's my son. Ben's mine. Ben 23andhim'd to me. ...Six degrees of you're the father, Kevin Bacon.

Holy shit.

[He takes a breath as all of that information settles, trying to sort through how they got here and how they didn't know this before.]

I thought Lisa said ...

Yeah. Lisa said. Guess I have stronger sperm than some rando biker.

( He even makes a face at that. )

Yeah, never saying that again. Look, Lisa either lied or she hoped it wasn't me. And I'm pissed, Sammy, but Ben hates me. Like, he wants to punch me.

Yeah, well, I've actually punched you for less.

[And Sam would be pretty pissed if Dean had just ejected himself form his life without his consent.]

I'm sure he'll get over it. Are you okay?

I don't know, Sam. I don't know. You know what our life is like. You know what we're in the middle of. I disappear every other freakin year. And if not me, you.

( he sighs, long and hard. )

I've missed his whole life, Sam. He's thirty and he has tattoos. And he doesn't look like me anymore. He has smooth hair and big, piercing eyes and he really took after Lisa so no wonder she didn't ask any questions.

[Sam falls quiet for a moment trying to figure out what to tell him. Because there's nothing he can say to give him that time back.]

Despite what we're in the middle of, it's not the same as what we were in before. This isn't about us. We can walk away any time and nothing's going to follow us.

[He says this, forgetting that the reason they're in this mess in the first place is that his brother is in love with the Petrova Doppelganger. But she hasn't been the priority, not yet, so in his mind they could just say no and walk away.]

If you want to get that time now, you could. Once he forgives you, anyway.

You're just going to walk away. Mom's walking away.

( What's realistic about that? But, he needs a second and calms himself down. He's the subject at hand. And Ben is. )

I want that time, Sam. But, I have a girlfriend who just got her dead parents back, we're babysitting a dead warlock's kid, we're still in the middle of a witch war on all sides. ( He sighs. ) I know I messed up. But, why do we always get the short stick.

[Sam takes a deep breath because of course, naturally, Dean puts everything on himself. He pulls the phone away from his ear for a moment, letting the wheels turn before pulling himself back into the conversation.]

Alright, look, Allison and I are getting close on these bodies. And once these two are taken care of, that only leaves the main family and we've been outsourcing that anyway. Mom and I can pick up the slack with monitoring from the bunker. Elena can handle her parents. She's going to have to go back to work anyway, so she can't stay with you in Battlecreek forever. And with Irina, Ezra might get pulled back into the coven soon anyway with how these attacks have been playing out, so it might be safer to move her.

[He pauses.]

Are Caroline and Ryan still at the bunker?

( He's just spiraling because it's not at all about not asking for this, or the timing. Because the Ben of it all renders everything else moot. So, he listens. )

Pretty sure they're ( Caroline and Ryan ) running interference on their only doppleganger daughter running off with her boyfriend.

Okay. Maybe moving Irina to the school will be safer for her for right now. I'll talk to Ezra when I get back home.

[And text Caroline to not take off right away to give him some time to get back.]

You just worry about Ben. We can handle everything else, and if we need you, we'll call.

( Not a bad idea... He's heard about the precocious Pedro thriving. Helps one issue. )

Just worry about Ben.

( he can do that. )

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