everyonelives | for the rest of us death will be a relief

[Stephanie's face sets, as she looks down at her phone and flips through the albums on her phone until she finds the graduation picture with her and her father and holds it up to his face.

His response only makes her angrier, but she tries to tamp it down so she doesn't look like a hysterical idiot.]

Are you Damon Salvatore? Because if you are, then I'm pretty fucking sure you're my father.

( Well, that looks like him, with shorter hair and less intensity than he's sported his, oh, entire un-life. He looks genuinely happy. And there she is. Elena, smiling, with an arm around him. His hand is on this guy's shoulder and she, his "daughter," is showing off her diploma.

He looks from the photo to them. To this kid's hair, his jaw-line. His eyes. This girl's anger. The flare of her nostrils. Her eyebrows. Sense of style.

He could see it. But, he didn't forget this, this has never happened. He didn't get the happy ending, didn't go mortal, didn't have kids...

"Steph," Gray says, always noticing details, including their father's signet ring, which used to be spelled for daylight, one he stopped wearing. One he still keeps in a box. But, one he's wearing. )

What.

[She hisses at her brother because she's waiting for an answer from her father. She's wanting for an answer for the way he's decided to just royally fuck up their lives. She follows his eyeline to the ring on her father's finger and she shrugs.]

He's wearing his ring. So what?

[She's not always so good with the details. Or maybe her mind just doesn't want to go there just yet.]

Yes, I'm wearing my ring. And apparently, everyone on the Peanut Gallery knows what will happen if I take it off. Which, tells you that you can't be my kids. I'm not Klaus, I'm not part anything. ( now he feels like he's skirting discretion with these strangers.

He evaluates the two of them, too, sighs, and gestures for them to sit in the two seats that are now free. ) Look, I don't know how to explain your photo, other than, like I said before, some unknown family line trickling on down to someone looking exactly like me getting my name, but I have experience with family lines. All the look-a-likes? Don't share names. They actually don't like doing it. So, bring me Damon Salvatore, because one way or another, we're taking a trip to the social security office.

[Stephanie doesn't sit. She's too wired, too angry, too confused to think of settling into a chair across from this man who is her father but isn't and she definitely doesn't have enough chill considering that woman can come back any moment.

So she does what she does best: delivers a dramatic closing line before storming off.]

Okay, I don't know what kind of crazy, Twilight Zone world I've walked into but I am going to go and try to stumble back out because I want to go fucking home.

[And with that she walks right out of Rosseau's, onto the streets of the French Quarter.

Probably not a smart place for her to be but hey, at least the Quarter is safer than it used to be.]

( Gray doesn't know what to say, either, because he's learned from his cousins about prison worlds and Hell world and the Other Side, and pocket dimensions, but not whole other worlds. It's something he can't even hold space for, but he can be a good brother.

His sister takes off and he's right behind her, leaving Damon - fuck, new and improved Damon fishing out his phone because the craziest thing just happened, Stefan, or Cami, she's his therapist now. and then he gets the alert. Dean Winchester's alert he's still a part of. "Blasts from the past?" he says out loud. Damn it, he goes to take off, following behind. He tells Cassie that he had to go do something, please explain to Freya he'll call her later.

Outside, Gray calls after his sister. )

Steph, wait up!

( He catches up to her, but doesn't stop her, just keeps walking in whatever direction she wants.

And then he's in front of them again, leaning against a pole and Gray jumps. )

Jesus. ( he says, holding his sister if she reacts, too, instinctively stepping in front. ) We get it, we're in Bizarro world, she asked you to leave us alone.

( Semantics say she didn't but, Damon can't.

"It's all very me, storming off in a huff. The pout's on point, too. And the horror. Why don't we take a seat at this nice café and compare notes. See if we can't get to the bottom of this." It's really all he can offer. "Running around this city isn't going to help you," Damon thinks. "Especially, if something really weird is going on. And I'm the familiar face you got. I will even explain Freya."

It's kind of a take it or leave it offer. More, they have no choice, because he's getting to the bottom of it. Damon's staying off the group chat for the time being, though.

Maybe this is all a ruse.

"I'm going to make one," he says, holding up a finger. "Phone call. Do me a favor. Sit here. Don't move. Order something. Breathe. And I'll be right back," he says.

Gray, feeling like he has no choice, still checks in with his sister to see what she wants to do, but Damon has a call to make to one of the only people he trusts in this city right now.

He doesn't know what Lindsay's doing, but in the middle of the busy street, he looks back at -- whoever these kids are and dials Lindsey's number.

"Come on, pick up," he says. )

[Stephanie doesn't know if she has an appetite anymore, but she will sit in the cafe while he makes his stupid phone call and try to sort through this tidal wave of complicated feelings.

Lindsay, however, has learned that while she needs both Damon and Klaus' help for wedding planning, having both of them in the same wedding planning sessions means nothing will get done, so she's split their time accordingly. Tonight, it's testing caterers, and while Klaus goes to negotiate (read: threaten) rates, she and Beck are enjoying the food.

Her phone rings, and she excuses herself from her fiancé's side while going to answer:]

Do you think it's rude to sign up for wedding cake tastings if we already know where we getting the wedding cake from?

[She clearly has not realized that Damon's world has turned on it's head.]

( He reminds himself, tomorrow, after his next session with Cami, he has another venue check with Lindsay. Damon is about aesthetics and style. Well, probably. If these aren't his kids. How can they be his kids? How is that possible? He watches as the guy stares at him and the girl - she needs to do something besides pout. )

Rude, no, a waste of everyone's time. Maybe. But, you get free cake. Speaking of free cake, your friend Mia lives her whole different life, right?

I'm not sure how that relates to cake, but yeah. When she got called, a whole alternate timeline unlocked in her brain, why?

[She and Mia are close enough that she's getting invited to the wedding but not close enough that she could have been a bridesmaid, so she's curious as to why Damon is bringing up that specifically.]

And that timeline, it was as real as you or me, or the two teenagers who found me at Rousseau's, bitch-slapped me with their words, and showed me a picture of me and Elena at their high school graduation.

( That has something to do with cake. )

Me, Elena, and them. It's a long story, I'm casually dating someone and the spunkier girl freaked out. Because I'm cheating. On their mother. Elena.

[Lindsay is silent for a moment, trying to process that statement. She looks back at her fiancé, before turning back to the door.]

I'm sorry, are you saying that you've been accosted by two of your children with Elena from an alternate timeline?

[Because that feels well ... nuts. But also not out of the realm of expectation for a Slayer.]

That's what I'm saying, though, accosted's a little harsh. She's got a mouth on her, but so far, no real oomph behind it.

( So, kind of Elena circa high school. )

Lindsay, you're supposed to tell me this isn't possible, not help me entertain the idea that across this square, at a table are my son and daughter from another timeline. How does that even sound.

[Lindsay hesitates briefly, before following up with:]

So Dawn told me about this fluke of the Hellmouth once when alternate universe vampire Willow showed up in Sunnydale, so unfortunately I can't say there's not precedent.

[Which is probably not what Damon wants to hear.]

But I would still get a paternity test.

Vampire who? The witch who made cookies on Thanksgiving but ducked out before the explosion?

( Shit. )

So, what do I tell them? Some fluke in the city sent them to my world and we're just going to take a trip to the hospital. ( He shakes his head. ) Never mind. I - I'll call you back.

( Stalking back through the crowd, halfway there, he -- softens his demeanor, taking them both in. Stopping at their table, he holds a hand out, asking if he can sit.

"This was your plan," Gray says. The waitress comes back with sandwich Gray and his sister can split and Gray just asks for the check, before indicating his sister, so she can use her card. "Good phone call?" )

Look, I'm sorry, you get how this comes off, even in our lives. ( Damon waits for the exchange with the waitress to finish. ) And I may not have answers, but I have -- friend of a friend proof this can happen. Apparently.

Apparently.

[Yeah, Lindsay is going back to Beck and inform him that weird shit is happening, and this may wind up turning into a work thing, because she is also on the group text and it seems like some of them have been in New Orleans too.

Stephanie stares back at her fake father, and decides to take the path of least resistance. Sitting here in silence has given her a lot of time to draw conclusions and while she may not know all the details of her parents life, she knows some.]

You're still a vampire. Is Mom still in a coffin sleeping somewhere or something?

( The waitress takes the strange credit card, but confirms it has a strip, and hides her reaction as she retreats to the POS system.

Damon doesn't know where to start. Doesn't even know if he believes it. But, daughter's taking it remarkably well after not.

For the record, Gray tried to make conversation, but Steph wouldn't. And while he doesn't blame her, they have each other here. They need to be on the same page. )

By all means, say that louder. ( But, don't. He slides forward in his chair. ) Last time I checked, your mother was in Kansas. Small town called Lebanon. Barely on the map. Bonnie brought her out of the coffin twenty or so years ago. We tried, we failed, we went our separate ways. Which means in your reality...

( "You have your stuff, but you make it," Gray says. "And yeah, you're human. Our uncle Stefan injected you with the cure in his veins after his and aunt Caroline's wedding. He died, you lived."

Damon's eyes travel all over as he listens to all of that. Uncle Stefan. He knows what would happen if Stefan did that. Stefan and Caroline's wedding? They never got together, either, but her crush was documented. )

Stefan took the cure? I was going to take the cure.

( Clearly, he didn't. But, he figures if he had kids, they were on his damn terms. And that means Stefan. Is dead. Because he knows what happens when the cure leaves a vampire's veins. )

Mom is in Kansas? Why is she in Kansas?

[What kind of nonsense world did they wake up in?

Look she's dealing with a lot, and part of her wants to buck and say she'll be as loud as she wants but people are weird about supernatural stuff.]

Aunt Bonnie jumped him with it after he killed her boyfriend. He didn't really have a say in the matter.

No, Bonnie incapacitated him - ( in his reality. oh. ) with the cure - in your world. Ouch.

( Behind them, the waitress calls over her manager.

But, Damon owes her an answer about their mother, which is weird enough to think. )

Elena ( because it is still weird to call her 'your mother' ) is in Kansas because she is seeing someone who lives in Kansas. Someone from her high school years. They reconnected this year, and circumstances were what they were - she ended up there. And stayed. And I am here. Dating the proprietor of that bar. Not cheating on her, for the record.

( With her newly resurrected parents, he realizes. )

Wait, gross, did she leave you for Uncle Matt?

[She may be offended on her father's behalf. Not that she doesn't love Uncle Matt, as the family uncle who can get her out of trouble because he's the mayor and he and her mom are best friends.

But he's the only high school guy she can think of that might be in play.

Focus, Stephanie.]

Sorry. Okay. Mom and Uncle Matt ran off to Kansas. Weird but whatever.

She did not leave me for the high school quarterback.

( But, that hits hard in a way he doesn't like, dredging up some of his first session's therapy. His horrible parental instincts are to compel his daughter to stop asking dumb questions and just sit there while he figures it out.

But, he won't be doing that. )

She didn't leave me. After her coma, things were hard. On both of us. ( For the both of them. ) His name is Dean and he passed through. I think he did like a semester or something and that's all you're getting out of me about your mom's boyfriend. In this - world.

( He tracks down the waitress, who seems to be apologetically approaching. )

I need a bottle of whiskey. And one glass.

( "I'm sorry," the waitress begins, presenting the card. "But, your card declined. And then it got stuck in our other machine --" She's never had that happen before.

Damon pulls out his own wallet, holding his card out. )

Use mine. My treat, like I said.

( The waitress exchanges cards and Damon inspects his daughter's )

It'll work. Shoo. And bring the whiskey.

( Damon frowns. Turning the card over. )

Nice... iridescent strip. Never heard of Forge Card.

( "Like, forging your own path," Grayson very helpfully says. "There isn't a Forge Card in this world?" he says, looking at his sister. And then realizes. "Your wallet was on you. Mine wasn't. It's why I don't have it." )

You have no wallet? No cash, too, I'm guessing.

Who actually carries cash any more?

[Certainly not these kids. But before she can dig into any more of that two things happen on Damon's phone.

One is a text from Lindsay: At some point, would you mind if I came to talk to the kids? I need to know what they know.

But the presence of that text on the lock screen is very quickly followed, however, by Stefan calling. Ring ring.

Stephanie squints over at the name and frowns.]

Wait, he's actually alive?

( Damon shouldn't have put his phone down on the table, is going to ignore Lindsay's text, but then his brother calls. It stings, hearing he's dead in their world. If anyone deserves to live, it's Stefan. If anybody deserves kids...

He swipes up his phone, ignoring Lindsay's text for the time being and answers, holding a hand out. Don't. Talk. His hand tries to say. )

Not a great time, little brother.

I don't think there is for what I'm about to say.

[And he's not going to dance around this because that group chat is going, so he'll just rip off the band-aid.]

Matt Donovan's alive.

( His eyes narrow as he watches his skeptical daughter and exacting son. )

What did you just say?

( He doesn't need for him to say it again, because he knows. )

Like found hiding out or in a small town with amnesia, cause I gotta say, I thought I had the monopoly on clichés over here. ( That, and his kids - if they're his kids don't need to know he killed their "uncle Matt." ) My daughter found me in a bar and yelled at me for cheating on their mother, Elena. Their, ( plural ) because my son followed. Any chance he's their uncle?

( Maybe it's not his Matt. )

[Stefan is about to tell him that by the looks Matt is giving him, they're probably not that lucky but then Damon drops that bomb and he finds himself stunned into silence for a moment.]

Wait. Who did you say found you?

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