( Dean wants to hug the kid. His kid. But he knows nothing will be accomplished right now. It can't be. Too many hurt feelings all around and a live-in therapist. The best friend doesn't help, either.
He drives Elena back to the hotel in silence and lets her check in. Once they reach their room, he drops his hastily packed bag down and sighs. )
[Elena glances briefly at her watch before looking back at him.]
It's not quite noon yet. Bar probably isn't open.
[Her tone is gentle, not judging because after the morning they've had, she'd probably want a drink too. Which is why she she head to the mini-bar instead and hold up one of the little whiskeys.]
But we could try the mini-bar instead? And maybe talk about it a little, where you don't have to worry about anyone else's feelings?
( Right. Hotel bars. There's probably one nearby and he changes his plan in his mind before watching her move to the little mini bar.
She's right. He's following the shit end of his instincts. He still needs to call Sam. He's not his dad. His dad wouldn't have cared enough to erase anyone's memories. He would've left the devastation. )
He should be angry with me. They should both be. From their end. Twenty-some years later. But I'm getting raked over the calls for a split second decision I felt like I had to make?
Dean moves to grab two empty glasses and brings them over to Elena and the mini bar. He hopes there's a little ice bucket, too.
He doesn't wait for her to pour it, however, he just paces back. )
It makes me the bad guy. I don't mind being the bad guy. I fit the bill, but the last person I want to be. With him. -- I can't be the bad guy in his story Elena. Did I fuck this up before it even started?
[She does pour, and there is a bucket but for now it's empty. She'll run and get some after they talk. She passes one glass over to him before shrugging.]
I think you fucked up, but I don't think it's beyond repair. I think if you give them some time to breathe, you'll be able to find a place to start.
[She tips her head to the side as she watches him.]
[She's not asking for an answer she likes. She just wants to know the truth. She takes a deep breath, before making her way closer, leaning next to him as she figures out how to phrase this.]
Why erase yourself completely? Why not invent a breakup or give them a nicer ending than it actually had?
[For all the times that there's been compulsion involved, she's never tried to erase the trauma completely. Just tried to give it nicer edges, to help that person move on.]
If I knew the answer to that, I probably wouldn't have just been kicked out.
( But, that's a copout answer, right? )
I don't know. They deserved a clean break. Maybe... I needed the clean break. Things were bad with Sam and demons found them. And they deserved better than me.
[People deserving better than what they get is a common theme in their worlds, for better or worse. Elena could think of so many people who didn't deserve what happened to them.
Her hand reaches up gently, brushing against his cheek and meeting his eyes.]
Just ... if this went bad, I wouldn't want you erased from my story, Dean. I like having you in it. And I think part of the reason why Ben is so upset is that he did too. Demons and all.
( She brings this out of him. And maybe he should've said this to Rudy, or hell, his kid. )
I was drowning, Elena. Whole time in that house. Moved on from Sam. And then one day Sam just shows back up and I'm back in it again. Moved Lisa and Ben completely. Stayed in the picture as long as I could, went back on the road with Sammy and -- Lisa knew. I hate that I left the kid behind. But, when I did it. I felt like I had no choice.
( He pauses, closing his eyes and letting himself feel the hand on his cheek. )
( Because he agrees about Sam and he was preparing to do just that. He presses a quick kiss to her lips. )
For the record, you're taking this all... in stride. Really appreciate it.
( And when she leaves him alone, he sits for a good few minutes on the bed. Downs his entire glass of tiny bottled whiskey, and then dials his brother's number bringing the phone to his ear. )
[She kisses him back with a smile. "Surprise grown adult child is not the worst thing a boyfriend's ever told me. Besides, it's not about me."
But with that she will go in search of food.
It's early in the morning in California, but not so early that Sam isn't already awake like the stupid health nut he is. Sam's phone starts to ring as he's finishing his run, and he frowns when he sees his brother's name on the screen.]
( He sounds out of breath, so Dean knows that means there in fact was an early morning run. He will never be as healthy as his brother. But, he beat him to something. He just didn't know it.
[If he sounds confused, it's because he is. He knows what's in Battlecreek, but Dean also said if he ever brought it up again he would get punched in the face.
Doesn't matter if they're over the phone. He's just going to play dumb and see where this goes.]
He's royally pissed at me. Lisa's probably not far behind. He did one of those online DNA tests and it flagged Adam's DNA. His cop BFF tracked us down, and made the dad connection.
( he pauses, because of course there's more and he can't even say it yet. )
Cas erased me, but he didn't erase stuff. They found pictures and paperwork. Ben answered when I called back. Elena and me drove down first thing this morning. ( another beat. ) Cas, too.
On his paternal side. Because of dad. And then Adam's DNA connected to us. Because of dad. And. ( he smacks himself with his phone and then brings the phone back to his ear. ) He's my son. Ben's mine. Ben 23andhim'd to me. ...Six degrees of you're the father, Kevin Bacon.
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everyonelives2025-03-12 08:39 pm
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He drives Elena back to the hotel in silence and lets her check in. Once they reach their room, he drops his hastily packed bag down and sighs. )
Think I'll check out the bar downstairs.
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It's not quite noon yet. Bar probably isn't open.
[Her tone is gentle, not judging because after the morning they've had, she'd probably want a drink too. Which is why she she head to the mini-bar instead and hold up one of the little whiskeys.]
But we could try the mini-bar instead? And maybe talk about it a little, where you don't have to worry about anyone else's feelings?
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She's right. He's following the shit end of his instincts. He still needs to call Sam. He's not his dad. His dad wouldn't have cared enough to erase anyone's memories. He would've left the devastation. )
He should be angry with me. They should both be. From their end. Twenty-some years later. But I'm getting raked over the calls for a split second decision I felt like I had to make?
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[She's been there. She's messed with her own brothers memories more than once under the guise of protecting him.]
I think it's an instinct we all - trying to do what we think is best or easier, based on what's within our power to do.
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Dean moves to grab two empty glasses and brings them over to Elena and the mini bar. He hopes there's a little ice bucket, too.
He doesn't wait for her to pour it, however, he just paces back. )
It makes me the bad guy. I don't mind being the bad guy. I fit the bill, but the last person I want to be. With him. -- I can't be the bad guy in his story Elena. Did I fuck this up before it even started?
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I think you fucked up, but I don't think it's beyond repair. I think if you give them some time to breathe, you'll be able to find a place to start.
[She tips her head to the side as she watches him.]
Can I ask you something?
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You might not like the answer.
( But that's never stopped either of them. )
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Why erase yourself completely? Why not invent a breakup or give them a nicer ending than it actually had?
[For all the times that there's been compulsion involved, she's never tried to erase the trauma completely. Just tried to give it nicer edges, to help that person move on.]
no subject
( But, that's a copout answer, right? )
I don't know. They deserved a clean break. Maybe... I needed the clean break. Things were bad with Sam and demons found them. And they deserved better than me.
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[People deserving better than what they get is a common theme in their worlds, for better or worse. Elena could think of so many people who didn't deserve what happened to them.
Her hand reaches up gently, brushing against his cheek and meeting his eyes.]
Just ... if this went bad, I wouldn't want you erased from my story, Dean. I like having you in it. And I think part of the reason why Ben is so upset is that he did too. Demons and all.
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I was drowning, Elena. Whole time in that house. Moved on from Sam. And then one day Sam just shows back up and I'm back in it again. Moved Lisa and Ben completely. Stayed in the picture as long as I could, went back on the road with Sammy and -- Lisa knew. I hate that I left the kid behind. But, when I did it. I felt like I had no choice.
( He pauses, closing his eyes and letting himself feel the hand on his cheek. )
I wouldn't do that to you.
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[Her tone is light with a smile as she brushes her thumb against his cheekbone.]
And you do have a choice now. You have a second chance. It's going to take a lot of work, but if this is what you want, you can do it.
[And then she's going to ask the question that needs to be asked, out of earshot of Ben and anyone else who could be hurt by it.]
Is this what you want?
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( His eyes open again. )
He's my son, Elena. My kid. He's mine and I'm not going back. Everything's changed. Forever.
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[Because telling Sam makes it real, and she knows that.]
And I will go find us some lunch. Burgers?
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( Because he agrees about Sam and he was preparing to do just that. He presses a quick kiss to her lips. )
For the record, you're taking this all... in stride. Really appreciate it.
( And when she leaves him alone, he sits for a good few minutes on the bed. Downs his entire glass of tiny bottled whiskey, and then dials his brother's number bringing the phone to his ear. )
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But with that she will go in search of food.
It's early in the morning in California, but not so early that Sam isn't already awake like the stupid health nut he is. Sam's phone starts to ring as he's finishing his run, and he frowns when he sees his brother's name on the screen.]
Hey, Dean. Everything okay?
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He doesn't know where to start. )
Hey Sam. I'm in Battlecreek.
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[If he sounds confused, it's because he is. He knows what's in Battlecreek, but Dean also said if he ever brought it up again he would get punched in the face.
Doesn't matter if they're over the phone. He's just going to play dumb and see where this goes.]
Why Battlecreek?
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Lisa called one of the old phones. Mom picked up.
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Did something happen? Is Ben okay?
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( he pauses, because of course there's more and he can't even say it yet. )
Cas erased me, but he didn't erase stuff. They found pictures and paperwork. Ben answered when I called back. Elena and me drove down first thing this morning. ( another beat. ) Cas, too.
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[Dean, stop burying the damn lede.]
Ben took a DNA test? And Adam showed up as a hit.
[He's gonna make Dean say it but he's already starting to connect the dots.]
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On his paternal side. Because of dad. And then Adam's DNA connected to us. Because of dad. And. ( he smacks himself with his phone and then brings the phone back to his ear. ) He's my son. Ben's mine. Ben 23andhim'd to me. ...Six degrees of you're the father, Kevin Bacon.
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[He takes a breath as all of that information settles, trying to sort through how they got here and how they didn't know this before.]
I thought Lisa said ...
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( He even makes a face at that. )
Yeah, never saying that again. Look, Lisa either lied or she hoped it wasn't me. And I'm pissed, Sammy, but Ben hates me. Like, he wants to punch me.
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