i'm leaving you my last curse

[bravebartender]

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[braveandstupid]

[Elena nods, because it's true. Then she adds:]

She didn't tell me why, though. What's wrong?

[Because it's clear something's wrong. She doesn't usually try to read into Dean's feelings in the effort of encouraging him to tell her, but whatever just happened has clearly rattled him.]

[cholesterol]

I have a kid.

( There's a lot more to say, a story to tell. But, his shellshocked demeanor probably makes it clear this is news to him. But news to him affects her, right. That's what happens when you take and give half the load. You take the burden of the other half.

The timing is crazy.

Just a few weeks ago he and Elena had found her dead parents.

And Lisa and Ben were dead to him. )

[braveandstupid]

Oh my god.

[That's her first reaction, not bothered beyond the initial shock of it, but she's much more concerned about Dean than she is about her own feelings regarding it. She is grateful for Caroline giving her the heads up, rather than Dean having to go back out there and get her, but her concern is much more for Dean at the moment.]

Are you okay?

[cholesterol]

( Something he's not good at, not at all, is defining how he's feeling. He recalls their conversation about Lisa and Ben, his crash and burn at family life. He couldn't promise her everything, but he also couldn't ever rule anything out. He knows he's capable. And he's a different person now. He recognizes that.

But, he's still the same person. He finally finds her eyes, finally feels the ground underneath him.

Either Lisa lied, had a false positive (or negative), or, he doesn't know. Now he's in this. )

He thinks I didn't want him, that I had me erased from their lives. He did a DNA test. It connected to Sam and I's brother. But, they don't know or remember me. And that's on me.

[braveandstupid]

[There's a long pause as she tries to process that information, then her eyes widen as she puts it all into context. He doesn't say who it is, when the details come out, she can put the pieces together.]

It's Ben?

[At least, she hopes that's the only kid that's had Dean erased from his life.]

[cholesterol]

She told me, Elena. She said he wasn't mine, that she did a test and he was some biker's.

( Would he have made the same decision if the context was different? )

He hates me and he doesn't even know me. Is Cas still...

[braveandstupid]

Yes. My mom is feeding him leftover pie.

[So they have time. Time to actually talk about this because there's going to be a lot of feelings on Ben's part, and it's not going to be his job to manage Dean's. It's going to be her job to manage Dean's.

She pulls him over to the main table, sitting them both down in a chair so they can take a breath and talk about this.]

I don't think he hates you. I think he's probably is going to be pretty angry with you for messing with his memories, but he doesn't know you well enough to hate you.

[cholesterol]

( He nods, looking past her, then at her again. He lets her lead them, feet heavy, before she sits him and then herself down. )

I made a call. As long as they knew me, they were in danger. And -

( He doesn't say the next part. Can't. She didn't want him, anyway, not all of him. She liked him. She liked what he brought to the able. But he couldn't be everthing. He couldn;t be. )

[braveandstupid]

[Elena's head tips as she lets him get it out. There are lots of places that "and" could go, and she knows this is painful for him. So she won't push. He knows that she's been down this road - not in the same context but with the same consequences.

Jeremy still hasn't fully forgiven her for the things she took away from him. She's not sure how Ben and Lisa will feel about this either.]

Are you going to have Cas give their memories back?

[cholesterol]

If they want 'em.

( It can't be his call. )

Sam had no soul, demons went after them, they didn't need me. They were better off without me. ...I thought they were better off without me.

( He tries to say look at his mom and Charlie and Bobby, but all of them have come back. Even Jack, they saved. )

He was twelve.

[braveandstupid]

They might not feel that way.

[At least, Ben might. But these things are complicated, and she probably shouldn't get ahead of things.]

But I think if you give them a chance to try, you can figure things out. It just may take time.

[Dean can't run away from it again.]

[cholesterol]

He probably thinks everything changed because he's my kid. If they had tracked me down, had questions, I'd be there. I'd always love Ben.

( Does it make him a terrible person that Ben being a blood relative means he loves him more all of a sudden. )

Your parents and your friends are here. I'm walking out on them.

[braveandstupid]

[No. It just makes things more complicated.]

They'll deal. My parents are not going anywhere, so they will probably still be here when you get back. And while you and Caroline are making strides, I'm sure she'd be willing to give you a break.

[This is important, and she doesn't blame him for wanting to go and deal with this now, rather than letting it sit.]

[cholesterol]

( A second passes before he rests a fist on the table. )

Yeah, maybe Ben'll give me a break.

( He knocks on the table and then pulls himself up. )

Look, I'd ask you along but I'm already dragging Cas. ( Without asking him. ) I have enough to explain. ( He closes his eyes, licking his lips. ) Not that you're someone I have to explain.

[braveandstupid]

I'll go, if you want me to. I have a couple of days off. If you don't want me to go in, I can wait in the car.

[She'll be there just for moral support. She'll be there for him, and maybe aside from Cas he should have someone on his side.]

But I don't have to. Whatever you need.

[cholesterol]

( He wants her there. He nods. He can't say it. Can't ask her. That was asking her. )

We pack light.

( Literally, one bag, if she even wants to, but he doesn't wait. He instead seeks out the pie-man. )

Cas, wheels up in ten minutes.

[toomuchheart]

[Elena nods, before going to pack a bag and pulling Caroline and her parents off to the side to discuss the change of plans. She holds the reassurance, that he's not an imposition, to herself for now. That may be better saved for a conversation later.

Castiel looks up from the plate he's working on, brows furrowing in confusion.]

We're going to the Braedans?

[Because Cas doesn't know this is a taboo subject as of yet.]

[cholesterol]

( She's not. Not even close. And they're intertwined now. They're each other's people. And you hold your people close. Plus, Cas won't keep him sane. Elena will keep him sane. )

We're going to the Braedans. They want answers and if they want their memories back, you're going to give em. ( A beat. ) He's mine, Cas. Ben. He's my kid. He did a DNA test. And I erased everything about me.

[toomuchheart]

[Castiel is hard to read, usually, because facial expressions are not something he's accustomed to. The problem is, Dean knows him fairly well. So he might be able to pick up on the lack of surprise at the tail end of that statement (9).]

I'll be ready to leave when you are.

[cholesterol]

( He's too shell-shocked (3) to read him.

He finds Elena and the group, making a gruff apology to them. )

[nextproject]

[Yep, and not long after that they're in the car, on their way to Battle Creek.

In a neighborhood with a lot of more efficient vehicles and quieter cars, the rumble of the Impala stands out on an early Saturday morning. Rudy moves towards the window, watching as the sleek, black vehicle pulls to a stop in front of their house.]

Dickerson, did you say he drove an old Chevy?

[camber]

( Dickerson's passed out here before, but last night it was all hands on deck, so he actually stayed in the guest room and not on the couch. Ben and he didn't really sleep as he realized when he got up early to get some water, but, everyone is up, at least.

Lisa's coming down the stairs from taking a shower, drying her hair over her outfit choice of the day. )

Impala. 67. That him?

[nextproject]

I think so.

[Rudy's not going to rush it, but he is scoping out the car. He seems to have two other people with him, one woman, one man, which is good. At least in theory. If he had no support to bring with him, that may have been a red flag.]

I'm not going to rush him, but go let Ben and Lisa know that he's here, and he's not alone.

[enate]

( This is all a red flag, if you ask Dickerson, but it also might lead them to answers. It's quite the freaking rabbit hole they've all climbed down.

Dickerson peers out the window behind Rudy before heading back to the kitchen.

"Heads up, he's out front and he's not alone. One man, one woman. Kind of looks like he brought his accountant," he says, glibly. )

He brought backup?

[nextproject]

I think he brought support.

[He's willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, for now. It's a very tentative for now, because he has a lot of questions, and this is more about Ben and Lisa than him. But he wants to at least try not to have this start out in an angry place.

Ben comes down the stairs with a frown, running a hand through his hair. "Wow, this must be so hard for him." His tone is dry and Rudy doesn't blame him.]