i'm leaving you my last curse

[bravebartender]

Comments

[notjustamom]

Of course. Let me see, I have ...

[She shifts the phone on speaker to check the caller ID again, before rattling off the number there.]

Is this a good number to reach you?

[Mary, your phone etiquette is ancient.]

[enate]

Yes. It's my number. But I'll unblock him, so the number will go through. Or, Ben's number is also good. Braeden, if it's still in there. Either one.

( She can't believe it, that answers are this close. )

I'm sorry, but, do you know who we are?

[notjustamom]

[She hesitates for a moment, debating how to play this. Given the information she has, she doesn't know why they're calling. But it also doesn't feel right to lie either.]

I do.

[She doesn't elaborate more than that. Let Lisa read into that what she will.]

I'll pass on the message to Dean.

[enate]

Did --

( he hurt us? she doesn't ask. takes this woman's notice at face value. )

Thank you. As soon as possible.

( She ends the call on her terms. Letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in, she picks her phone up and unblocks the number and drops the phone back down with a thud. )

I don't even know what that was.

[notjustamom]

[Rudy reaches forward and gives her shoulders a soft rub. "It's a start. Let's just eat and we'll see if he calls back."

In the meantime, Mary will take a deep breath before wandering a bit further into the bunker in search of her son. Now isn't the ideal time for this to happen, but hopefully he's not with any of their guests.]

Dean, you have a minute?

[cholesterol]

( Dean and Elena are entertaining her friends, laughing about something. He likes Caroline. Thinks he's slowly winning her over after threatening her protege point blank, but maybe she's just being nice and polite. Or, maybe it's Elena's parents and brother that buffer all that, anyway.

He excuses himself, leaving Elena in the middle of a story about how her chili isn't that bad and he steps out into the hallway. )

Hey, mom.

( he lost her for years and they had to reacquaint, so her expressions are still alien to him. (4) )

What do you need?

[notjustamom]

[She is, at least with her adult children, the type that tends to rip the band-aid off. And she doesn't think there's a way to soften this blow, as much as she may want to. She doesn't take pleasure in unearthing old wounds for her children, especially when they've come so far, but sometimes you don't have a choice.

She holds up the piece of paper she took the message on.]

Lisa Braedan called one of her old phones. She would like you to call her back.

[cholesterol]

( That hits like a ton of bricks. A year in his life passes by in a flash, from their first meeting, to Sam making him promise where he'll go, to Dean actually ending up there.

To... )

Lisa Braeden.

( Except, Cas erased him from her and Ben's lives. What can undo that? Could any of Cas' deaths have reversed that? Like vampires and compulsion? A thousand things run through his mind. )

Did she tell you what she wanted? Just to, to call her back? ( He can't wrap his head around it. ) How did she sound?

[notjustamom]

She did not, and I wasn't really in a position to press. She just asked for you to call her back. It seemed like there was a question she wanted to ask, but I wasn't the person she wanted to ask it to.

[She wanted Dean, and was a little thrown when she got Mary instead.]

She sounded ... a little frazzled, I think.

[cholesterol]

( He's listening, he is, and normally his instinct would be to call his best friend, but instead he just, a little too loudly bellows )

Cas. ( And before he appears, he asks no one in particular. ) She's - why now? How?

[toomuchheart]

[Mary doesn't have those answers. But she does jump slightly when Cas appears out of nowhere, as requested.]

Dean. Mary.

["Hello, Castiel."]

[cholesterol]

( A little too loudly for anyone's taste, considering he's right out in the hall, Dean just jumps right in. He's happy nobody starts with a Happy Thanksgiving. )

Lisa Braeden. You completely erased me from her and Ben's minds.

[toomuchheart]

Yes, as you asked me to.

[He doesn't know why this is coming up now, nor why he's answering questions for things that happened years ago, but he assumes this is going somewhere.

He's not sure he likes where it's going, but he's along for the ride, as Dean seems upset. Upset with him? Hard to say. But that isn't the question that's been asked yet.]

[cholesterol]

Is there any way that wall could've come down.

( And why now? Why now is also his question! And so as to not to continue to confuse him. )

She called. She called the old phone and says she wants to speak to me. She's looking for me but she shouldn't know who I am, Cas.

[notjustamom]

[Castiel just shrugs, because no, there shouldn't be. But where Dean's involved, there's a lot of things that happen that shouldn't. "Not that I'm aware of. But it wouldn't be the first time something went ... awry where Winchesters are concerned."

Mary muses, reflecting back on the albeit brief conversation with Lisa before offering:]

You lived with them for two years. Did you take any pictures?

[cholesterol]

Yes. ( They were a family unit. ) Why are you asking about pictures? ( Except, he follows her thought process. It's impossible not to. His voice returns to a normal level as he turns to Cas. ) So, when you erased me - you just erased me but any...thing left behind. Anything I didn't get to, or didn't know about, didn't think about.

( He sighs. )

You're saying I did a shit cleanup job.

( No, Dean. You're saying it. )

But, then how could she -- ( He just stops - takes a breath. ) So, what, she just stumbles onto some paper trail of this guy she doesn't remember. ( His eyes close. ) And thinks he hit her car and killed her boyfriend.

( He covers his face with his hands, letting out a guttural "uuuuuugh," )

What do I do, I just call her back.

[notjustamom]

That's up to you.

[Mary's not going to force him, and she's not going to judge him either.]

But she sounds like a woman with a lot of questions, so it might be easier if you rip the band-aid off rather than ignoring it.

[If she doesn't hear it from Dean, she might find the answers somewhere else.]

[cholesterol]

( She's right. He's sorry. )

Sorry for - ( To, Cas. He leaves his best friend and mother as he winds his way back into the common area, then the kitchen to the phone drawer, though he finds where his mother had left the phone. He hesitates, but maybe he can clear things up.

He doesn't know how. She wants him to call. Maybe they remember everything. But why would they seek him out after all of that.

He dials the last number that dialed him. )

[acdc_rules]

[Ben's phone springs to life on the table next to him at dinner, and his eyes go wide as he looks at the caller ID.]

Shit.

[He snatches it up, answering the call before it can disappear to voicemail, and brings the phone to his ear...


... and is immediately at a loss for what to say. Hello feels dumb, in the grand scheme of things, but in the end, it's all he's really got.]

Hello?

[cholesterol]

( Dean waits. Dreading. And then he hears a voice and can't stop himself -- )

Ben?

[acdc_rules]

Yeah.

[And suddenly he feels like he should be having his conversation anywhere but where the three pairs of eyes are currently watching him, but he also doesn't know why either.

He swallows hard before trying to figure out what he needs to actually say. What do you do, just come out with "Hey, I think you're my dad?" Would he even be receptive to that? Would he even want that?

Fuck it.

He shoots his mother an apologetic look before pushing up from the table and walking away for a little less pressure.]

Thanks for calling back. This is Dean, right?

[cholesterol]

( Lisa purses her lips, not wanting to pry. Letting him take the lead. As much as this is also her mystery. Is that his father?

Dean feels inadequate all over again. Just good enough and then somehow he'll also never be.

He doesn't move, doesn't pace, just looks up at a patch of ceiling that needs to be redone. Has that wet stain always been there? )

Yeah, this is Dean. I heard your mom was looking for me.

[acdc_rules]

It was both of us, really.

[He drops onto the couch in the living room, and stares straight ahead, trying to figure out what comes next. He knows he needs to tell Dean about the DNA test. That was the point of all this. But he also can't help but ask.]

So the only thing I remember of you is you standing in that hospital, apologizing for hitting us with your car, but we've got neighbors saying that you lived with us for two years and that you showed up at my birthday when I was eight. Which is actually real?

[A pause.]

I mean, are you just the guy that hit us or were you ...

[His voice cuts off because it's a very fine line to walk.]

... Were you actually here?

[cholesterol]

Both of you.

( If his pictures were there, any left behind documents, logs, if one of them started a search they couldn't explain...

His eyes shut, because of course neighbors still have memories. And of course there are still pictures. And documents. He thought he was keeping them safe. He thought he had no other choice, like he didn't deserve that life. And then Sam had no soul and the freaking veritas curse...

He remembers seeing them both in the hospital. His version of goodbye.

He can't gaslight them. Not anymore. He doesn't defend himself. Doesn't trip over his words. Can only give the truth without knowing how to go where next. He looks behind him to see if his mother or if Cas followed or if he's alone in this.

He settles himself into a chair using one hand to steady himself. )

I was there.

( Actually. )

[acdc_rules]

[He nods slowly, taking that in. So many questions spring from that one answer, and he knows he should probably filter to the ones that cut less to the heart of the matter but there's something about this that feels like muscle memory.

Sitting on the phone, taking to someone who he doesn't want to slip through his fingers, though not really sure that's something he can control.]

So why'd you leave? Was it ...

[Because you were disappointed in your son? Did Lisa know, before this weird memory loss happen?]

... Did you and my mom break up or something?