i'm leaving you my last curse

[bravebartender]

Comments

[nextproject]

Not in the way you're thinking. A physical trauma like that would be more likely to result in you losing time not erasing a specific person from a specific set of memories.

[He places a lid over the pan to let the ground turkey simmer, before turning back to his wife.]

It's possible that another trauma could have caused you to repress his presence in your life but from what you described, it does feel a bit ... clean. Usually suppressing these kinds of memories result in things like flashbacks or other kinds of trauma responses.

[A beat.]

Granted, I should not be diagnosing either of you.

[enate]

But, I would know, I would know if he was - abusive or, if something happened.

( She's protect her son. But, she doesn't remember anything. Can't even picture him, despite being in pictures with him. )

Can you -- how far back can phone records go?

( Dickerson looks up. "If you have the same number," he muses. "If you want specifics, eighteen months to seven years, but it depends on your provider. And, I don't have a warrant, but, I can see what I can find out. Phone's probably not connected to his name..." )

I mean, do we even want to find him? God, if he's -- Ben, if he's your father and he did something...

[acdc_rules]

I don't know, I think I have to now.

[Because he wants answers. He wants to know what was so terrible about him that he managed to forget the man so completely.

He presses his lips together, before looking down at his phone and pulling up a contact.]

But now that we have a name, I did find this.

[There's no picture, just the name Dean and a phone number. No call history on this phone, but it somehow got carried along with each contact import as they went.]

If he was living with us as a defacto parent, I figured I probably had to have a way to reach him.

[enate]

( She sighs. )

Me too.

( As much as she feels like this is going to hurt.

His mother and Dickerson lean over.

"Send me that number," Dick says, taking a moment to think through everything.

Do you have a thought?

( "Only that, all the actual evidence points to him disappearing from your life, and everyone's - for that matter. If I look at the facts and set aside you and Ben not knowing or remembering him, it feels more like keeping you safe. Not saying people can't lose it. And other people's can't black that out. It just..."

She tries to follow his thought process )

Doesn't make sense?

( She looks to Rudy. )

What do you think? If, if Ben and I did remember him, would you think , what would any of us even think?

[nextproject]

[Ben sends over the contact before glancing to Rudy, to see what he has to say.

Rudy is quiet for a moment, turning over the information before holding up his hands.]

This is all theory. But I do think that if he meant you harm he probably would have found you by now. Just because you forgot doesn't mean he did. But that's where I get tripped up - hiding information from you doesn't necessarily imply safety to me.

But I can't say for sure without talking to the guy.

["Which we could do. Maybe. If he hasn't changed his number." Ben's just pointing that out.]

[enate]

( Dickerson forwards the contact to his partner, asking her if she's still at the office to see what she can get from it. Any activity in the past... twenty years.

Lisa wants answers, knows that Rudy doesn't know anything, that he can give his best academic guess, but asks anyway. His opinion matters. She needs to feel like she's not going crazy. )

We do still live in the same house. We moved with him. He knows where we are. Knew us when he told us he hit us with his car, which, I'm thinking more and more he ... didn't.

( It's too elaborate. )

I think Rudy is right, if he wanted to hurt us, he had a chance. And then he had every chance after that. If we blacked out - whatever happened - we'd be sitting ducks, right?

( And then her son has an idea, as her eyes fall on his phone.

She squints, pulling out her own, scrolling down before setting her phone down in the center. Dean's number is there. But, in this case, it's blocked. )

Maybe it's the crazy in me, but I say call. I just don't know if it's one of us who should do the calling.

[notjustamom]

[As soon as Lisa gives him permission, he's hitting the call button. He places it on speaker, putting it in the center of the table as it rings.

Mary, however, happens to be the resident of the bunker swinging by the drawers where Dean keeps some of his old phones when it starts to ring. Those don't tend to ring for good reasons, given how often the boys change their numbers to stay under the radar, but she answers anyway, hoping that it's an ally rather than an enemy.

She swipes across the screen, glancing briefly at the name on the screen before bringing it to her ear:]

Yeah?

[And when it's a soft, feminine voice answering, not the man Ben's expecting, he falls into a panicked silence, not really knowing what to do.]

[camber]

( Lisa's not expecting a feminine voice, either, at as much of a loss as her son is. She's not panicked, but not sure where else to go, so Dickerson moves for the phone but Lisa instead takes it.

"Hi, my name is Lisa Braeden and my son Ben and I are trying to get in touch with Dean."

She leaves off his last name just in case, but she's done speculating. She didn't need someone to help her parent. She doesn't need someone to hold her hand while she tries to get real answers.

Dickerson is -- impressed, but swipes an app up on his own phone: recording the conversation.

He tells the room to be silent, bringing a finger to his lips - but then winces and shrugs at Ben because, Ben's also in this. But, still he listens, pulling out a small pad from his back pocket. )

[notjustamom]

Oh.

[The tone of her voice changes, from brusque and waiting for the details to something softer, almost understanding. She and Dean only talked about Lisa and Ben once, after a haunting involving a gaggle of precocious foster children. She remembers how difficult that was, so she does the only thing she can do.

She stalls.]

He just stepped out, but can I take a message and have him call you back?

[Buy Dean a little time to figure out how he wants to deal with this, rather than smacking him in the face with it.]

[enate]

( That feels like she knows something but they're over the phone a (7) earns her knowledge that Mary is reacting, but not why. She says she knows him, but does she know him? )

Um. ( She had this. ) Have him call us back. Please.

( What else can she say? She holds the phone to her son, just in case? Does he want to add anything? )

[notjustamom]

Of course. Let me see, I have ...

[She shifts the phone on speaker to check the caller ID again, before rattling off the number there.]

Is this a good number to reach you?

[Mary, your phone etiquette is ancient.]

[enate]

Yes. It's my number. But I'll unblock him, so the number will go through. Or, Ben's number is also good. Braeden, if it's still in there. Either one.

( She can't believe it, that answers are this close. )

I'm sorry, but, do you know who we are?

[notjustamom]

[She hesitates for a moment, debating how to play this. Given the information she has, she doesn't know why they're calling. But it also doesn't feel right to lie either.]

I do.

[She doesn't elaborate more than that. Let Lisa read into that what she will.]

I'll pass on the message to Dean.

[enate]

Did --

( he hurt us? she doesn't ask. takes this woman's notice at face value. )

Thank you. As soon as possible.

( She ends the call on her terms. Letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in, she picks her phone up and unblocks the number and drops the phone back down with a thud. )

I don't even know what that was.

[notjustamom]

[Rudy reaches forward and gives her shoulders a soft rub. "It's a start. Let's just eat and we'll see if he calls back."

In the meantime, Mary will take a deep breath before wandering a bit further into the bunker in search of her son. Now isn't the ideal time for this to happen, but hopefully he's not with any of their guests.]

Dean, you have a minute?

[cholesterol]

( Dean and Elena are entertaining her friends, laughing about something. He likes Caroline. Thinks he's slowly winning her over after threatening her protege point blank, but maybe she's just being nice and polite. Or, maybe it's Elena's parents and brother that buffer all that, anyway.

He excuses himself, leaving Elena in the middle of a story about how her chili isn't that bad and he steps out into the hallway. )

Hey, mom.

( he lost her for years and they had to reacquaint, so her expressions are still alien to him. (4) )

What do you need?

[notjustamom]

[She is, at least with her adult children, the type that tends to rip the band-aid off. And she doesn't think there's a way to soften this blow, as much as she may want to. She doesn't take pleasure in unearthing old wounds for her children, especially when they've come so far, but sometimes you don't have a choice.

She holds up the piece of paper she took the message on.]

Lisa Braedan called one of her old phones. She would like you to call her back.

[cholesterol]

( That hits like a ton of bricks. A year in his life passes by in a flash, from their first meeting, to Sam making him promise where he'll go, to Dean actually ending up there.

To... )

Lisa Braeden.

( Except, Cas erased him from her and Ben's lives. What can undo that? Could any of Cas' deaths have reversed that? Like vampires and compulsion? A thousand things run through his mind. )

Did she tell you what she wanted? Just to, to call her back? ( He can't wrap his head around it. ) How did she sound?

[notjustamom]

She did not, and I wasn't really in a position to press. She just asked for you to call her back. It seemed like there was a question she wanted to ask, but I wasn't the person she wanted to ask it to.

[She wanted Dean, and was a little thrown when she got Mary instead.]

She sounded ... a little frazzled, I think.

[cholesterol]

( He's listening, he is, and normally his instinct would be to call his best friend, but instead he just, a little too loudly bellows )

Cas. ( And before he appears, he asks no one in particular. ) She's - why now? How?

[toomuchheart]

[Mary doesn't have those answers. But she does jump slightly when Cas appears out of nowhere, as requested.]

Dean. Mary.

["Hello, Castiel."]

[cholesterol]

( A little too loudly for anyone's taste, considering he's right out in the hall, Dean just jumps right in. He's happy nobody starts with a Happy Thanksgiving. )

Lisa Braeden. You completely erased me from her and Ben's minds.

[toomuchheart]

Yes, as you asked me to.

[He doesn't know why this is coming up now, nor why he's answering questions for things that happened years ago, but he assumes this is going somewhere.

He's not sure he likes where it's going, but he's along for the ride, as Dean seems upset. Upset with him? Hard to say. But that isn't the question that's been asked yet.]

[cholesterol]

Is there any way that wall could've come down.

( And why now? Why now is also his question! And so as to not to continue to confuse him. )

She called. She called the old phone and says she wants to speak to me. She's looking for me but she shouldn't know who I am, Cas.

[notjustamom]

[Castiel just shrugs, because no, there shouldn't be. But where Dean's involved, there's a lot of things that happen that shouldn't. "Not that I'm aware of. But it wouldn't be the first time something went ... awry where Winchesters are concerned."

Mary muses, reflecting back on the albeit brief conversation with Lisa before offering:]

You lived with them for two years. Did you take any pictures?