i'm leaving you my last curse

[bravebartender]

Comments

[acdc_rules]

I don't know, man, I don't remember him playing house with us. But the accident was in 2011. The details are hazy but Mom got hurt pretty bad and he came to see us in the hospital to apologize. He said his name was Dean.

[This is ... so weird. Like what the fuck dude.]

I think Matt was driving. He didn't make it.

[Because rereading the wiki I just remembered that Lisa's boyfriend got ganked.]

1/2

[enate]

He didn't. That was the only time we saw him. Ever. He introduced himself and apologized.

( Right, Dr. Matt, not Dr. Mike. Her memories of that time aren't her best, but that wasn't an easy time. They recovered. Her and Ben did, together. )

I don't know if he knew about Matt, he seemed to... feel bad enough.

None of this makes any sense.

[camber]

So, October 2007, you turn eight, you're kidnapped and your neighbors say this guy Dean turned up.

Does any of this help? Almost three years later, suddenly, he's living with you guys. They spoke highly of him, said he was great to both of you. Taught Ben the ins and outs of his classic car. Worked in construction. Word was, he didn't talk about anything before, but his brother had recently died and people thought he might've been just discharged from the army. He was nice, just... going through it.

Any of that ring a bell?

[acdc_rules]

None of it. How the fuck did we lose two years of our lives?

[There's a pause.]

Except I remember those two years. Just this guy wasn't in them. I know this sounds crazy dude, but I swear I'm not.

1/2

[camber]

Your possible biodad weaves in and out of jurisdictions and legal trouble and then drops off the face of the earth, there's nowhere to go but weird.

Sealed file could also mean... WitSec.

But it wouldn't explain why you don't remember the guy. Last I checked, Men In Black's SciFi.

[enate]

He wasn't in those two years. Or, there in 2007. And I don't know why everyone is saying he was.

Rudy, are you home? I have an old photo album in the closet from when Ben was younger. Mostly his birthdays. Some of the moms took pictures at his eighth birthday. Left behind a polaroid camera.

I really don't remember any of this. It... didn't happen, Dick.

1/3

[nextproject]

On it! BRB.

[He'll go digging through some photo albums in search of gold.

... There may be momentary distractions when he finds a picture he particularly likes, yes Ben was a cute child, we get it Rudy.]

[acdc_rules]

Not unless we've been brainwashed or something.

[But why would they brainwash them? It doesn't make any sense.]

I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind.

[A beat when he realizes that his parents are also on this chat.]

Sorry, Mom.

actually i lied one more.

[nextproject]

I hate to contradict you, sweetheart, but I think it may have happened. The party at least.

[Attached is a picture of a picture from the album, of little Ben, standing next to a man with a very similar bearing and face to the mug shots outside a bounce house, plates with cake in hand.]

Still digging.

done

[acdc_rules]

WHAT THE FUCK.

[Negates that whole apology whoops.]

1/?

[enate]

Honey, you're in your thirties and none of this makes any fucking sense, so I can't possibly blame you for the same reaction I'm having.

Are we actually using the word brainwash?

done

[camber]

If one of you didn't remember, I'd suggest you blocked it out, but both of you not remembering. We're back to weird.

That's him. Is that little you? Dude.

( Adorable. )

You kind of look alike.

[acdc_rules]

[That last bit is not helping. He's never been more grateful that he grew into Lisa's coloring. At least until Rudy starts pulling up other pictures, Ben a couple years older, and even some with Lisa as well.]

This is messed up.

[And with that, his lunch is over.]

Shit I have to go back to work. We'll talk about this later?

[It'll maybe give him some time to get his thoughts in order.]

1/2

[camber]

I'll keep digging.

2/2

[enate]

Those are all in our photo albums.

What the hell is going on?

I promise we're not trying to gaslight you, Rudy.

[nextproject]

I believe you.

[Because if Lisa had the answer to Ben's questions, he's certain she would have answered them. So something must have happened. Perhaps a linked trauma of some kind.

But that isn't what needs to be dissected right now.]

We'll get to the bottom of this. I'll make dinner and we'll go over what Dickerson's found together.

[If that works for everyone here.]

[enate]

( No one objects to dinner. Dickerson can always eat. It's a free meal and a mystery.

While Rudy is in a session, Lisa lets herself into the house and stomps upstairs. She has too many questions and she can't concentrate so her advisor and her assistant cancels the rest of her day.

By the time dinner rolls around, Lisa has dove deep into her physical records on hand. Not only does she have pictures, but she has an employment contract and employee handbook, both assigned to Dean Winchester. And a bag of other -- what can only be described as, identities. Hers, Ben's, and Dean's, but not under their names. And an insurance policy not under any of their names, but -- Axel Rose.

Barefoot on the floor of her closet, she searches harder through her files - and then tries locating her tax return that year and the year before.

By the time everyone gathers, the kitchen island has ... a lot of evidence she can't explain.

As Rudy cooks, Dickerson sips on a glass of wine and peruses everything she found.

"You lived with Dean Winchester," he confirms.

Lisa just shakes her head. )

All I can think ... did -- what if we left him. And he came after us, what if he targeted us with his car. You said he might've been struggling with something, clearly PTSD, what if he snapped, what if we tried to escape and we started over again? Or, the accident... could the accident have just -- erased him from our memories?

( Give Dickerson a second, because, there's a lot to sift through. And it's pretty damning. )

[nextproject]

Not in the way you're thinking. A physical trauma like that would be more likely to result in you losing time not erasing a specific person from a specific set of memories.

[He places a lid over the pan to let the ground turkey simmer, before turning back to his wife.]

It's possible that another trauma could have caused you to repress his presence in your life but from what you described, it does feel a bit ... clean. Usually suppressing these kinds of memories result in things like flashbacks or other kinds of trauma responses.

[A beat.]

Granted, I should not be diagnosing either of you.

[enate]

But, I would know, I would know if he was - abusive or, if something happened.

( She's protect her son. But, she doesn't remember anything. Can't even picture him, despite being in pictures with him. )

Can you -- how far back can phone records go?

( Dickerson looks up. "If you have the same number," he muses. "If you want specifics, eighteen months to seven years, but it depends on your provider. And, I don't have a warrant, but, I can see what I can find out. Phone's probably not connected to his name..." )

I mean, do we even want to find him? God, if he's -- Ben, if he's your father and he did something...

[acdc_rules]

I don't know, I think I have to now.

[Because he wants answers. He wants to know what was so terrible about him that he managed to forget the man so completely.

He presses his lips together, before looking down at his phone and pulling up a contact.]

But now that we have a name, I did find this.

[There's no picture, just the name Dean and a phone number. No call history on this phone, but it somehow got carried along with each contact import as they went.]

If he was living with us as a defacto parent, I figured I probably had to have a way to reach him.

[enate]

( She sighs. )

Me too.

( As much as she feels like this is going to hurt.

His mother and Dickerson lean over.

"Send me that number," Dick says, taking a moment to think through everything.

Do you have a thought?

( "Only that, all the actual evidence points to him disappearing from your life, and everyone's - for that matter. If I look at the facts and set aside you and Ben not knowing or remembering him, it feels more like keeping you safe. Not saying people can't lose it. And other people's can't black that out. It just..."

She tries to follow his thought process )

Doesn't make sense?

( She looks to Rudy. )

What do you think? If, if Ben and I did remember him, would you think , what would any of us even think?

[nextproject]

[Ben sends over the contact before glancing to Rudy, to see what he has to say.

Rudy is quiet for a moment, turning over the information before holding up his hands.]

This is all theory. But I do think that if he meant you harm he probably would have found you by now. Just because you forgot doesn't mean he did. But that's where I get tripped up - hiding information from you doesn't necessarily imply safety to me.

But I can't say for sure without talking to the guy.

["Which we could do. Maybe. If he hasn't changed his number." Ben's just pointing that out.]

[enate]

( Dickerson forwards the contact to his partner, asking her if she's still at the office to see what she can get from it. Any activity in the past... twenty years.

Lisa wants answers, knows that Rudy doesn't know anything, that he can give his best academic guess, but asks anyway. His opinion matters. She needs to feel like she's not going crazy. )

We do still live in the same house. We moved with him. He knows where we are. Knew us when he told us he hit us with his car, which, I'm thinking more and more he ... didn't.

( It's too elaborate. )

I think Rudy is right, if he wanted to hurt us, he had a chance. And then he had every chance after that. If we blacked out - whatever happened - we'd be sitting ducks, right?

( And then her son has an idea, as her eyes fall on his phone.

She squints, pulling out her own, scrolling down before setting her phone down in the center. Dean's number is there. But, in this case, it's blocked. )

Maybe it's the crazy in me, but I say call. I just don't know if it's one of us who should do the calling.

[notjustamom]

[As soon as Lisa gives him permission, he's hitting the call button. He places it on speaker, putting it in the center of the table as it rings.

Mary, however, happens to be the resident of the bunker swinging by the drawers where Dean keeps some of his old phones when it starts to ring. Those don't tend to ring for good reasons, given how often the boys change their numbers to stay under the radar, but she answers anyway, hoping that it's an ally rather than an enemy.

She swipes across the screen, glancing briefly at the name on the screen before bringing it to her ear:]

Yeah?

[And when it's a soft, feminine voice answering, not the man Ben's expecting, he falls into a panicked silence, not really knowing what to do.]

[camber]

( Lisa's not expecting a feminine voice, either, at as much of a loss as her son is. She's not panicked, but not sure where else to go, so Dickerson moves for the phone but Lisa instead takes it.

"Hi, my name is Lisa Braeden and my son Ben and I are trying to get in touch with Dean."

She leaves off his last name just in case, but she's done speculating. She didn't need someone to help her parent. She doesn't need someone to hold her hand while she tries to get real answers.

Dickerson is -- impressed, but swipes an app up on his own phone: recording the conversation.

He tells the room to be silent, bringing a finger to his lips - but then winces and shrugs at Ben because, Ben's also in this. But, still he listens, pulling out a small pad from his back pocket. )